


Second Chances

by Deang_Kast



Series: The Doctor, Rose Tyler, and The Psychopath [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Death, Domestic Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Major Character Injury, Romance, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 20:57:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deang_Kast/pseuds/Deang_Kast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Tardis makes an unscheduled detour and The Doctor finds an unexpected surprise waiting for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Return

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me as I was watching DW tonight when the Doctor said, Here, Now, Your story ends. Ideas just started pouring through and i latched onto this one. Will update again Sunday night. Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer... I do not own any characters from Doctor who... yada yada, you know how it goes :)

The Tardis started shuddering not three seconds after The Doctor landed on Gregax IV. Then all of a sudden she was taking off again. Looking at the coordinates she had entered he was going straight back to Earth.

“No, no, no, no!!!” He didn’t want to deal with whatever his ship was dragging him into this time. There were equations he wanted to finish but had needed to do some more research and now this. “Stupid ship, why are you doing this to me? Dammit.”

The Tardis just sent him a scolding response and continued on her way. When they landed, he looked at the screen that showed the outside. Nothing but snow. Lots and lots of snow. Growling out explicatives, he went to the door and flung them open. He stepped outside and saw a young woman collapsed on the ground. She had light brown hair with hints of blond in it and was covered in a light gown that was splattered with blood.

Going to her, he tapped his sunglasses to get a reading. Her heart wasn’t beating so he reached down to feel her pulse and felt waves of heat coming from her. Turning her over, he saw her face for the first time and shock made him still. It couldn’t be her, not here in this universe dying in front of him. He had left her on that beach two regenerations ago, how in the hell had she come back here, now, at this time. Why was she dying? Was this the universes answer to him for daring to love her all of these years.

‘Here have her back at the time of her death.’ He wouldn’t really be surprised. The universe hadn’t exactly shown him much compassion during his years. His blue-grey eyes took in the stab marks on her. Someone had stabbed her over and over again. He counted nineteen marks on her. His shaking hands covered his eyes as his legs gave out on him. Reaching out, he pulled her lifeless body to him and rocked it as he lay his head in the crook of her neck.

Tears fell from his eyes as he rocked and begged every deity that he had never believed in to not do this to him. Don’t bring her back to him just so he could grieve her death. He kissed her lips as he lay her down again and stood up. He didn’t notice the golden glow at first. He looked at the sky and screamed out his rage over the wrongness of this deed.

Wiping his eyes, he looked back down at her and his eyes closed then opened just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Her mouth opened on a gasp and those beautiful amber eyes met his. Confusion came off of her in waves before her body clenched in pain. She screamed in her head and The Doctor fell to his knees again. This time from the pain that was radiating through him.

He put his sunglasses back on to see what was happening to her and gaped at what the readings showed him. Her body was literal reforming itself inside her. That wasn’t possible. Was it? The golden glow around her intensified and he stepped back, pretty sure he knew what was coming next. He was right.

All of a sudden her body straightened out taunt as a drawn bowstring as regenerating light poured out of her. He blinked as he watched, wondering what shape she was going to take, a smirk on his lips at the thought. Wait, he shouldn’t be thinking like that. He should worried right? Yes, that’s what he should do. Be worried. But his big Time Lord brain was just as curious about what her subconscious would choose. He couldn’t help that part of him.

He sent a thank you to his Tardis for bringing him here at this time. If not, who knew how long it would’ve taken him to find her and find out about this. His Rose had come home with a few extra surprises for him at that. He refused to think about the metacrisis doctor in the universe. He hadn’t protected her obviously so now it was his turn again. This time, he wouldn’t care about what was best for others. He’d spent the last 1000 years mourning his love and he was going to do all he could to keep her this time.

The energy finally slowed and stopped and he was staring at a woman who was slightly taller than his rose had been. She had waist length black hair and green eyes that shone oh so brightly. Her face hadn’t really changed much though. She still resembled her original self in some ways which was fine with him. Hell, she could’ve been green with purple polka dots and a wagging tail for all he cared. She still would’ve been his Rose.

Rose stood up, dusting the snow off herself. She looked at the gown she was wearing and frowned at the blood that covered it. “Well, that wasn’t what was planned.” She stopped for a moment after hearing her voice. “No accent? Where’d my accent go?” She looked up and gasped when her eyes met his.

Rose studied him for a moment before a smile touch her lips. She moved closer and looked deep in his eyes for a moment before that smile turned into that tongue touched one he had always found irresistible. Her eyes danced as she realized exactly who he was.

“You’ve gotten older.” She walked around him as if she was inspecting a piece of meat. Her hands reached out to run over his arms then his back as she circled. She ran her hand down to his arse and squeezed, causing him to jump. He wasn’t sure what to say to that so just waited until she was done and had returned to the front of him. As she finished, she ran her hand down his right arm and took his hand with hers. It felt like coming home to them both. He tightened in a light squeeze and then dropped her hand.

“Hello Rose.” He was surprised he managed to get those words out. He throat felt like sandpaper right then.

“Umm, and a deep gravelly Scottish voice. Hello Doctor. Looking sexy.” She brushed up against him and lightly kissed his lips. As soon as their lips touched her body started to fall. He had known that was coming and caught her before she hit the ground. He picked her up and cradled her against his chest before turning around and entering the Tardis.


	2. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While in a regenerating coma, Rose dreams of all the hell she went through during her time in the other universe. 
> 
> WARNING: Trigger points.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes domestic violence and murder. Please read at your own risk. 
> 
> Doctor Who does not belong to me and there's no way it ever will.

             Rose’s conscientiousness floated in and out for the next few days. When she would wake there was a grey haired man constantly running medical scans on her. For some reason she kept wanting to call him Doctor but that wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in her universe. The last time she’d seen him was ten years ago when he’d dropped her and that damned clone off. That clone who’d supposedly felt for her the same way he did. If that was the way he felt then she wanted nothing to do with the doctor again. When she inevitably went back under, she would remember and dream.

            Rose and her team returned from a mission that had lasted a week longer than had been originally planned. As she was leaving the Torchwood offices, she was stopped by two of the guys who was on her team for the mission. They joked around for a few minutes about all that had happened and then everyone went their separate ways. She was smiling as she walked out the doors, hoping that her Doctor had taken care of himself while she was gone. He seemed to forget to eat or wash or pretty much do anything while she was away on missions.

            The house was dark as she unlocked the door. That was surprising. Usually he’d be watching a movie or reading a new book.

            “Doctor, I’m home.” She called out, dropping her keys in the holder by the door. No answer so she checked the den and their bedroom. Hmm he must’ve gone out then. She decided to take a shower before going to bed early. She’d barely slept while away and knew she’d pass right out.

            He hadn’t come home by the time she was ready for bed, so she climbed in and was out almost before her head hit the pillow.

            The metacrisis Doctor woke her by slamming her head against their headboard. There was a wetness back there now. She felt it trickling down the back of her head and neck. Not good. Rose didn’t have time to think on it though because he picked her up off the bed and threw her into the wall. He didn’t say a word as she slumped to the ground as she passed out.

            She woke up in the hospital. Her mum was sitting in the visitors chair beside the bed holding her hand. She flexed her hand and her mum jumped, startled. Her head throbbed and her chest felt irritatingly tight. She moved her other hand to see what was wrong and felt the bandages there. She tried to figure out what had happened but her memory was blank from the time she’d left work.

            “Mum, what happened? Last thing I remember is leaving the office.”

            “Oh sweetheart, Himself was waiting for you and when you never came home, he went looking for you. Found you in your car just a mile from your house. You crashed into a wall and got hurt pretty bad. I can’t thank him enough, he saved my lil girl before something worse could’ve happened. They said the car blew up just a couple minutes after he pulled you out.” Her mum’s eyes filled with tears while she was telling her this. She was shaking and leaned over to pull Rose into a hug. “I’m gonna go let everyone know you’re awake.”

 

            Rose woke up to grey blue of what she assumed was a medical lab. The grey haired guy was standing over her again with what she figured was some type of scanner. He was muttering and frowning at it. Apparently he didn’t agree with whatever the device was telling him.

            Something was trying to get in her mind and she pushed it away from her. She’d dealt with enough telepathic probes the last few years and was pretty tired of it. The man looked up and she was startled by stormy blue eyes that almost reminded her of her leather and jeans Doctor.  Damn but she missed him, he’d always made her feel loved and safe even when they were running for their lives. She hadn’t felt safe in years.

            “You awake now?” The mans’ voice was gruff and held a Scottish accent. His eyes searched hers and seemed confused when she just stared back at him. He seemed familiar to her but she couldn’t place him within her memories. She shook her head silently and he looked sad for some reason. “Shh, just lay still, let me run some more tests on you.” He went to reach behind her and her whole body flinched away from him.

            He jumped back quickly and searched her eyes frantically. “Rose, you can’t be scared of me. I don’t know what happened but please trust me.” His hand shook as he reached behind her again and picked up a glass of something. “You’ve got to be thirsty, let me help you drink some water.” She nodded and he helped her sit up and held the cup for her as she drank. He felt so familiar but she couldn’t place it. How could he ask her to trust him after all she’d been through? If she knew him, surely he would know. She closed her eyes as she slipped back into the coma.

            The first couple of years had been great. They had moved in with her parents while getting paperwork and a background set up for the Doctor. She had gone back to school while working at Torchwood and while he hadn’t been ecstatic over the idea he had supported her. They would spend all of their free time together and she had been so happy.

            Then the accidents started happening and she never could remember what had caused her injuries. The medical teams had ran scans on her brain and had found nothing wrong with her so they had suggested she see a psychiatrist to see if there was a reason she wasn’t remembering anything. What a field day the press had had with that one.

            One night after another incident that involved a shattered cheekbone, a pierced lung because of the broken ribs, and more strange circumstances Jackie was giving Rose a lift home. Jackie looked over at her daughter for a moment, took a deep breath, and let out a question that had been bothering her.

            “Himself is able to remove memories, right?” Not waiting for an answer, she forged on, “Could he be the reason you can’t remember?”

            As that thought trembled through Roses’ mind, she started shaking. “What are you saying Mum? That he would be the reason for all of this? That the Doctors doing this to me?”

            “Well he’s always so sweet and charming to everyone else but sometimes I see this look of absolute fury in his eyes when he looks at you. It reminds me of one of the blokes that I dated when you were little.” Jackie hated remembering those long ago times but he had been the reason she’d become so protective of her daughter.

            Two days later, her mother would die.  

DWDWDWDWDWDWDW

            Rose’s eyes fluttered open again to see the blue grey ceiling with circular designs on them. They were shimmering and somehow she knew that it was a language that she should know. She sighed heavily wondering if all the ‘accidents’ she’d had was what caused her to be seeing everything with such a foggy recollection. So many things she found familiar now, yet she couldn’t quite place them.  She heard that gravelly voice again, not in the room but so close that she was certain if she merely whispered, he would hear her. She didn’t want to call out to him, knowing he would cause her head to hurt again. Her eyes closed as the sickness took her back under.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDW

            She recalled watching her mother being murdered in front of her by the one man she’d thought she could trust. He had been smiling that manic grin that had always excited her but now just scared the hell out of her. It had been his eyes though that had proven to her that this was not the Doctor she had once known. They weren’t kind and loving anymore. There was hatred in them and a gleam of satisfaction as he’d cut into her mum with a laugh. He’d dipped his fingers in her blood and smeared it on Roses face.

            She hadn’t cried then, she’d grown furious and after managing to get out of the ropes that tied her down, she’d called for help then returned to confront him.

            “Doctor, why are you doing this?” She’d asked calmly. He had glared at her then but she refused to act afraid.

            “Oh Rose, my lovely Rose. All this is your fault.” He swung around with his arms out to his sides. He rocked back on his feet and pressed his tongue against his teeth as he watched emotions roll over her face. “If you hadn’t come back, I never would have been made. He never would have dropped me off here in this world. You see, when you left me the first time for this universe, something in me cracked open. I no longer cared about anything. No compassion was shown because you weren’t there to make me a better person. I was enjoying myself so much over there. All the species who would beg for my help and me being the only one who could help. Or not, depending on my mood. I committed genocide twice after you left Rose, did you know? And I didn’t care. It was freeing. I can change the entire universe. Welllll, not anymore though right? Cause you had to come back and all of that part of me was sent into this ape body.”

            He smirked at her when she realized what he was saying. “Oh yes, he knew how I was when he left me with you. Remember he even warned you but stupid Time Lord that he is, he thought you could fix me. I did try though. The first couple of years I fought myself on how I should act. He was right Rose, I do feel for you the same way he does. You see, I love you so very much but I hate you just as equally. If I feel that way then you know he does too. It’s why he gave you to me to do with as I please. You with your clinging and I love you’s, it drove him mad. How could it not when one of such a lower species as you called to him. He couldn’t wait to get rid of you.”

             All of her insecurities came back to her then. The failure that she actually was, how she deserved to be treated like a tramp from the Estates, and how she never had been worthy of traveling with such a great man. It broke what little had been left of her and she leaned against the wall to support her shaking self. Once she was broken, he lifted the memory blocks from her brain and she was unable to stop replaying the memories of all he’d done to her the last few years. Her body fell to the floor and she was rocking back and forth as she watched and relived all that had happened. Tears rolled down her cheeks mingling with the blood he’d wiped there.

             Her team had found her in that position as they stormed the mansion. The Doctor was arrested without trying to get away. He never took his eyes off her, enjoying the hell he’d put her through. He hadn’t argued with the court, merely agreed that yes he was guilty and had laughed happily when he’d been sentenced to three consecutive life terms.

             Rose had believed in the system and had picked herself back up and stitched herself back together slowly after the trial. The papers left her alone for the most part, mainly because she was barely ever in public afterwards. She worked with Torchwood but didn’t go out into the field again. She didn’t believe in herself anymore to keep her team safe and wasn’t going to take a chance with their lives. So, she worked as a secret advisor. If a group of aliens landed and attempted an invasion she was there to provide them with the information needed about who they were.

             She didn’t pay attention to the news of a month long prison riot going on or the fact that HE had escaped during it. Nothing mattered anymore to her. Her life was routine for lack of a better word. She reported to the office if they needed her and stayed in her apartment when they didn’t. She was on medications to keep her from committing suicide but she never took it, instead relying on books to keep her mind busy. She no longer wore makeup or colored her hair because it just did not matter. Who was she to try and impress anyone? Nothing but a piece of trash from the Estates that deserved everything ever done to her.

             He found her a few months after he had escaped and entered her home after the lights had gone out. Her face held no blame as she watched him cut her open over and over, just watched the blood seep out of her while he giggled maniacally. The last thing she saw was his surprise as he realized she was dying on him. She almost smiled wondering what he had thought would happen as blackness took her away. Finally she was free.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

             Rose woke screaming and scrambled off the bed, yanking IV’s from her arms as she scanned the room she was in. She caught her reflection and no, that wasn’t her. She’d never had green eyes or black hair. Her face seemed similar to what she thought she looked like but it wasn’t possible to change that much.

             The Doctor came running into his med lab and skidded to a halt at seeing her out of the bed. She turned wild eyes to him, knowing she really should know this man with age old eyes but she couldn't place him. She backed up slowly until she was against a wall.

             “I don’t know what you want but I’m sure we can talk and figure it out. I’ve got money if that’s what you need. I can easily give you some.” Her voice shook and she put her hand up to halt him from coming forward. The Doctor sighed heavily. He ran his hand over his face and the back of his neck before reaching into the inside pocket of his coat for his sunglasses. Putting them on, he activated them to scan her and make sure she was going to be okay.

             Every day for the last three weeks she’d screamed over and over while in a coma. Once in a while she would open her eyes afterwards and look around as though she didn’t know where she was. He’d tried to put her in a deep dreamless state so she could heal faster but her mental barriers had kept him and the Tardis out of her head. The screaming though was the worst part. No, make that the second worst part. Her cries of ‘No Doctor, don’t kill her, I’ll do whatever you want’ and variations thereof had torn him to shreds. What had she gone through over there? What had his other self done to her?

             All he had after all these weeks was just more questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this will be the only chapter that goes into as much depth about Roses' experiences as it does, there may be mentions of it again in future ones.


	3. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose wakes from her coma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters will go back and forth between what he is seeing and feeling and what she is. No first person pov though, I'm not all that good at that type lol. This one isn't as rough as the last chapter. Hope you all like it. :) Let me know what you think. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated if you enjoy the story.
> 
> Yes the same old disclaimer stands for truth, these characters and Doctor Who are not my property, I just like to imagine what could be possible.

            “Rose, do you know who I am? Or where you are?” His voice was soft now, trying to hide the panic he was feeling. He watched as her eyes studied him while he leaned stiffly against the door. He wasn’t really expecting her to immediately remember him even if she had known exactly who he was before dropping into the coma. He almost smirked at the memory of her calling him sexy. He had wondered what she would think of this older face.

            “You’re familiar to me but I don’t know why. Where am I? Another hospital?” She took in the room and couldn’t place it either. “This isn’t a normal hospital room though. Not enough white walls. I think I should know it though. I’m sorry, I’ve had a lot of injuries to my head lately so if you’re expecting a perfect memory from me then you’re going to be disappointed.” She went to run her hand through her hair and realized again that she had long black hair.

            He watched the confusion flit over her face at the color of her hair. He wasn’t as calm as he seemed to her though as he thought over the words she’d said. What did she mean head injuries and another hospital? How many had she had or been in over there? More questions to be asked when she was able to answer them. He looked up when her stomach made a noise and smiled at her look of embarrassment. He needed to explain all of this to her.

            He reached out slowly to take her hand in his and pulled her gently after him. The console room was right outside the med lab as the Tardis had moved it there for his convenience so he could keep checking up on her. He heard her gasp and felt the tremor in his hand as she realized where exactly she was. He turned to look at her with a grin when he realized that she wasn’t smiling but full of fear. He was startled by that reaction. Why would she be afraid to be here?

            “Rose? What’s wrong? Why are scared of the Tardis. You know she loves you. I’m still under the impression that she loves you more than me.” Her eyes softened at those words but the fear didn’t leave them either.

            “I’m not afraid of the Tardis Doctor. Just remembering now.” She looked around the console room with a fond slightly sad smile. “Hey girl, I’ve missed you so very much.” He didn’t need to see the tears that gathered in her eyes to hear them in her voice. It broke his hearts even more. Something was really wrong with his Rose and he had a feeling that it was going to take a lot of patience to work out what it was. Something this body did not have a lot of anymore. He was surprised he hadn’t snapped at her yet to be honest.

            Drawing a deep breath, he willed himself to stay calm since she had pulled her hand away from his. He wondered why he had no aversion to her touch while he couldn’t even give Clara a hug. Maybe because it was Rose. He remembered that his leather self had had an aversion to being touched as well but had latched onto this small human for all he was worth. He shook his head, no not human anymore, she had regenerated into a full Time Lady and he was still trying to understand how that had happened. He’s run test after test and scan after scan on her during the weeks she’d been here and they all had said the same thing. His Rose was no longer human, she was a full Time Lady somehow.

            “let’s get you something to eat. You may not like the same things you used to though.” He muttered to her as he led the way to the galley. He could feel her quizzical look on him as she followed him. He gruffly told her to sit and went about making her tea the way she’d always loved it and decided he’d see if she still liked chips. While they were cooking up, he turned towards her and handed her the tea. She took a sip of it and looked like she wanted to spit it out.

            “Too sweet or too bitter?” He asked quietly. “I thought this would happen. Happens to me constantly. Although some things remain the same.”

            “Too bitter, a couple more sugars please.” He held out the bowl for her to get some more and turned back to check on the chips. They were both quiet as the food cooked and he rummaged in the cupboard to find the salt and vinegar she’d always wanted on hers. He’d have to remind her not to put too much on before she ruined the whole lot if her taste for them had changed.

            He dished them out on two plates and set one in front of her. Rose went to grab the condiments but was stopped by his hand taking hers.

            “You might want to be careful with that, try them without first, then maybe try them with just a small amount afterwards. I don’t want you to get sick if you can’t deal with the tastes this time around.” Her eyes searched his in confusion. He knew she hadn’t connected the dots yet on why she seemed a little different but that question was sure to come soon.

            He watched as she did as he suggested and in no time she was smothering the chips like she had all those years ago. A wry grin lifted the corners of his mouth as he silently chuckled to himself. Chips for her seemed to be like bananas for him. He wasn’t a fanatic about them like he had been in his previous lives but he still enjoyed them once in a while.

            “Go slow Rose, you’ve been in a coma for the last three weeks. Don’t push yourself.” Once again she watched him quietly, why wouldn’t she speak to him? He stood suddenly, his chair make noises against the floor as it flew across the room from the table. Tangible fear lit her face and she jumped backwards to get away from him. Her reaction pissed him off and he slammed his hands against the table.

            “Dammit Rose, don’t look at me like that!” He bellowed, his emotions swamping him in his fury as he thought about why she’d look like that at him. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” His voice quieted to almost a whisper when saying those words and he stormed out of the galley to find a way to control his temper.

             He made his way to the library and collapsed in his high backed chair. His head buried in his hands as he fought the tears that threatened to consume him. Whatever she had gone through must have been his fault even though it hadn’t been him over there. The link between him and his twin had been severed when his tenth body had died so he couldn’t contact that man now. Although with the fear that Rose has shown was any indication, he wouldn’t want to link to that one ever again.

            His Tardis kept trying to send him soothing telepathic tendrils but he swatted at them with his own of helplessness. She tried to argue with him but he was having none of it. “Shut up!!” He yelled at her, “If you want to help someone go help her.”

            The Doctor paced the library for a couple hours as he tried to calm himself down. It probably hadn’t helped reassure her when he had yelled at her but that was part of who he was this time around and he hoped she could learn to accept him again. He sat in a corner of the library on the floor, his head back against the wood as his eyes closed and he fell into the first sleep he’d had in weeks.


	4. Reprieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has some trust issues to work out and the Doctor calls up an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My last update for today, seems I got emotional involved there for a moment. Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> The usual disclaimers apply.

Rose sat at the table for a while after the Doctor had left the room. It took a while for her hearts to slow down. Her hearts? Why would she think that? Her hand raised to where her heart would normally be and she felt the beat of it. Then she moved her hand to the right and about jumped out of her chair. She had two hearts! How in the worlds had that happened? Pushing that thought away to be analyzed at another time, she focused on the problem of the here and now.

The Doctor had just yelled at her for being afraid of him. Then had whispered that he would never hurt her. She found that hard to believe after his other self had just killed her. Wait. If she had died, how was she still here? Well that explained the change of appearance and the two hearts. Sort of. But how had that happened. And how in the hell had she ended up in her original universe after he had killed her. These things just did not happen. Okay, not to normal people and especially not to people from the Estates. Now she shouldn’t really think that way. She had been on some of the most amazing adventures through space and time and other universes so yeah that was wrong.

Rose felt a probing against the barrier in her head and dropped her shields enough to let the Tardis in. She’d received advanced training while at Torchwood to fight against those who would try to take over her mind and now she was glad for it. The connection to the Tardis felt like a homecoming. The ship expressed her joy at her coming home and worry over what had happened to her. Apparently she’d caught all the nightmare images while Rose had been in the coma.

“It’s okay Girl, I’m away from that one for now. Now just to get away from this one.” A negative formed in her mind at her words. “Girl, you don’t understand. If one felt that way then they both do. I can’t deal with that right now. I have to get away before it happens again.”

The Tardis sent her a wave of admonishment at that. Then she sent a feeling of trust and happiness. Mirroring exactly how she had felt while traveling with them before.

“I’m not going to argue Old Girl. Can you show me my room? I need something to wear besides these. Seems I’ve gotten a couple inches taller.” An affirmative moved through her and Rose followed where the Tardis pushed her to go. She opened the door and saw the library. It was decorated differently now. No sofa anymore and two high backed chairs sat in front of the fireplace. Her eyes caught on The Doctor huddled in a corner, his arms covering his head as if he was trying to hide from what was going on.

“I said, shut up and go to her.” His voice sounded broken as he spoke to what she assumed was his ship. His body was shaking and it seemed the Tardis was trying to comfort him but he was having no part of it. She quietly closed the door and continued down the hall. After she was far away enough so he wouldn’t hear she hissed at the ship.

“My room, not wherever he is. Trying to throw us together isn’t going to work right now, if ever again.” Her anger at what the ship was trying to do caused the Tardis to send an apology and a sense of complete grief over and through her at the same time. This time, she did find her room and surprisingly it was the same one as when she had been here before. The room was in the same disarray as she’d left it and as she moved around it, she realized that there were some items missing. When she asked the ship where they were, the Tardis simply sent a feeling of puzzlement back to her. Interesting. She knew the ship knew exactly what happened to anything in every single room of her and yet she was acting like she had no clue. A sense of being completely innocent came through. She grinned, a mystery for her to solve if she stayed then.

“So girl, have you got any choices for me for this body? I’ll need to find a job and buy me some new clothes now.” She was told to go take a shower. Well, pushed was more like it. Guess she’d find the clothes when she got out of the shower.

When she did exit, the room had been tidied and there were stacks of clothes in the dresser and the closet. Okay, this was what she needed. A little make over never hurt anyone. She choose a pair of black jeans that fit perfectly and a silk shirt of cobalt blue. The ship had also put a black knee length leather jacket on the bed. Picking it up, she noticed a silver cross on the back of it that went from one tip to the other. Nice. Putting it on, she turned towards her mirror to take in the new look. It was nice, not what she was used to but seemed to work with this body.

Rose didn’t bother with makeup as she was over that phase of her life. She didn’t feel a need to try and make herself look good for someone else. If they didn’t like it too damn bad. The last eight years of her life had changed her thoughts on certain things pretty drastically and worrying about what others thought of her was one of them.

The sentient time machine had changed the colors of her room as well. When she’d been here before it had been different shades of pink, now the colors were darker, cooler, almost muted even. The walls were a deep mahogany while the carpet was a dark chocolate. The bed was covered in a Tardis blue. Very pretty and it fit her state of mind anymore.

“Hmm you’ve got good tastes girl.” She muttered as she left the room to explore this new old ship. The galley and console room had been extremely different from her time here and she wanted to see what else had changed until she could talk one of the other two sentient beings into dropping her off somewhere. A hum of irritation surrounded her as she walked down the corridor.

“I already told you I’m not going to argue. I can’t stay here.” The Tardis tried to send a wave saying that she could but Rose waved it off. “I love you Girl, I really do, but I don’t know what to think of that Doctor of yours anymore.” Another response was pushed away. “Yes, yes, I know he does but I know the other side too and I’m not going to give him that chance. I can’t live in fear of him.”

Her words caused that very man to stumble backwards away from her as if she had attacked him as soon as they saw each other. She swallowed hard, taking in the pained look on his face. She couldn’t do this, not yet. She turned and fled back to her room, trusting the ship to keep him away or at the very least not allow him in.

Shedding her jacket, she lay on the bed hugging one of the pillows. She couldn’t deal with this type of fear anymore. And the look on his face when he had heard her wouldn’t leave her mind. How could he look so hurt over simple words from her? His other self would’ve rejoiced in them she was sure. He had loved causing her to fear him, in fact had even sent her little messages from prison that told her of all that he wanted to do to her once he was able to find her again. That had been the reason she’d moved to a new home.

A light rapping on her door got her attention, though she didn’t respond.

“Rose, I don’t know what happened to make you so scared of me. I can’t imagine that I would hurt you in anyway.” She heard him take an unsteady breath and continue, “I’ll make some phone calls and drop you off somewhere safe for you. I’ll make sure you have a way to contact me if you want but I’ll stay away until you do.”

“Okay. Who are you going to call though? I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I’m dead now and won’t believe that I’m me when they see me.” She replied, trying to understand why he would do this.

“I’ll think of something.” And with those words he was gone. He had sounded like he was giving up, not like any of the Doctors she had known before. They had always fought if they wanted something and so this confused her even more.

A few minutes later, an image of the console room appeared in front of her bed. The Doctor was standing in front of a view screen talking to someone she couldn’t see. “Have we got sound as well?” She asked amused at the ships interference. The sound turned up enough so she could hear both sides of the conversation.

“How’d she get back to our universe Doctor?” She knew that voice, hadn’t heard it in forever but it was dear to her.

He raked a hand through those silver curls and sighed audibly. “I don’t know Sarah Jane. I was on the other side of the universe and the Tardis just took ahold of herself and returned. She landed us in the Arctic. The Arctic, Sarah Jane. How the hell did she get there? I don’t know what happened but she’s so scared of me and doesn’t want to be here. She can’t even look at me right now.” He tilted his head back for a moment, blinking the entire time. He couldn’t be crying. Her heart clenched at the thought but she refused to pay it any attention.

“Okay Doctor, bring her to me. I’ll call Micky and Martha. She can stay with me until she decides what she wants to do. What about you? What are YOU going to do?”

“I don’t know. I might try to see how she got back here and then try to find out what happened over there. If she got through, there has to be a crack somewhere right? So maybe I’ll try to do that.”

“What about your companion?”

He let out a little laugh, “Don’t have one anymore, she’s going to get married with her PE teacher and settle down. Good for her.”

“You need someone travelling with you Doctor.” Sarah Jane told him, a bit of steel in her voice.

“Not anymore Sarah Jane. I’m done trying. I’m tired. Maybe if she had come back and not hated me it would be different but I just… it doesn’t matter anymore.” His voice carried the weight of a man who had tried too hard for too long.

She heard Sarah Jane’s gasp and let out one of her own. A tear slid down her cheek at the sight of him seeming like his end was near. Yes, she still loved him, always would, but at the moment she couldn’t trust him. Yet she was fighting against her instinct to go to him right then and hold him until he didn’t want to give up. She blew out a deep breath. God she was so messed up anymore. She didn’t know which way she was supposed to go.

“So if you find a way over there? What will you do?” Sarah Jane asked him quietly.

“If he did what I think happened, I will destroy him. Anything to make sure she doesn’t go through it again.” Rose covered her mouth with her hand. No, he couldn’t go through the void again. He wouldn’t come back, she knew that instinctively.

“What if you can’t get back?” Sarah Jane asked almost in a whisper. “What then Doctor? What will happen?”

“Oh Sarah Jane, I’m not the last of the Time Lords anymore, didn’t I tell you? Rose will be so much better than I ever was. She just needs a reason to be and she will. If I cannot come back, it will not matter.” He took a deep breath, “now enough of this, we’ll be there soon.” He pushed a button and the screen went blank.

She watched as he sat in the jump seat, his arms splayed awkwardly, his head back, eyes closed. He sat there for what seemed like forever before standing up. He looked towards the corridor that held her room and turned away back towards the console. He bellowed out a sound that broke her heart as he starting beating against one of the pillars in the room until his hands were bloody. Then he collapsed on the floor with tears running down his face.

“T-turn it off. I can’t watch anymore.” She sobbed out. A wave of sympathy swamped her as she lay on the bed with tears streaming from her eyes. It was obvious that they were both hurting but she just couldn’t bring herself to find a way to fix it for them. She would go to Sarah Jane’s and figure out what to do from there.

Rose has fallen asleep crying. For the first time in years she didn’t have a nightmare. She wasn’t sure if it was because the ship refused to let her have any or because her nightmare was in another universe. Whichever it was didn’t matter, four hours of uninterrupted sleep made her feel fresh and she stretched as she woke.

She remembered thinking someone had sat beside her that night, holding her hand and caressing her check before pressing a sweet kiss to her lips. The words, “I love you,” in a Scottish brogue whispered through her mind. She shook her head at the silly thought as she packed a backpack with a few changes of clothes.

When he knocked at her door to say they had arrived, she was ready and waiting.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Make sure you take anything you don’t want to lose.” He reminded her before he walked away.

She had already packed her books that the Tardis had kept for her all these years. Looking around, she saw some pictures of happier days with his earlier selves and her mother and Jack. She couldn’t leave those either. What appeared to be a glass cube sat on her dresser with a small post it note that read ‘For Rose’, She swallowed and picked it up, turning it around to study it before putting it in the pack as well. She’d look at it again later.

Looking around her, she didn’t see anything that she couldn’t let go of and so left the room. The console room was empty as she entered it and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved over that fact or not. She ran her hands over the console and reached over to touch the Time Rotor lovingly. She sent a message to the Tardis full of love and tears, saying that she would hopefully be able to see her again. The Tardis sent one back the same way.

The doors were open so she stepped out into Sarah Jane’s backyard. The sun was surprisingly bright today and she had to shield her eyes from it. He was standing against the side of box with those glasses on, his arms and legs folded as he waited. He nodded toward Sarah Jane waiting at her door and turned to go back inside.

He paused to look at her. His mouth opened to say something then snapped back closed. He took a deep breath and went to move back away. Her hand reached up to grab his arm before he could disappear on her. He turned back again. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. His arms came around her waist quickly. He shuddered against her and deepened the kiss, their mouths opening to taste each other one last time.

Rose pulled back and laid her head against his chest and hand over his other heart. She needed to hear them both beating before he left. Lifting her head she looked at him, needing to see his eyes. She removed his glasses and revealed storm tossed seas there. He leaned down to kiss her one last time sweetly. Their arms contracted painfully around each other before each stepped back.

“I don’t blame you Doctor, and I don’t hate you. I just have too many trust issues right now.” Her hand cupped his cheek as she continued. “I need to work this out on my own before I can trust myself to trust anyone else, okay?” At his nod, she smiled gently. “I do love you Doctor. I don’t know much of anything else right now but I do know that. So please don’t go do anything crazy.”

He pulled her roughly back against him before kissing the top of her head. “Promise you.” He said softly before entering the Tardis and closing the doors. The Tardis disappeared a mere seconds later.


	5. Finding the Meta Crisis Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor learns what happened in the parallel universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small amount of smut in this one. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to me no matter how much I may wish otherwise. :)

The Doctors’ body was shaking as he and the Tardis entered the Time Vortex. The hum from his ship was mournful and he understood. He petted the console, wishing he could help but knowing it was impossible.

“I know Girl. We need to face the facts though. We need her much more than she has ever needed us.” Agreement shimmered between them.

He stood in the middle of the console room not knowing what he was supposed to do now. He had promised not to do anything crazy but he was sure that their respective ideas of crazy were quite different. Possibly. Maybe. He grimaced to himself. His crazy had grown out of his last three generations and she had been someone that had influenced them all. So knowing her, it was possible she would not agree with what he was thinking of doing.

Perhaps he would think better after some sleep. The hour on the library floor hadn’t done much to help him. He hadn’t tried to sleep while she had, instead he’d sat on the side of her bed and held her hand. He’d talked to her about how much he’d missed her all these long centuries and told her for the first time how much he loved her. Right before she’d woken up, he pressed a light kiss to her lips, pulled out a cube that he’d recorded messages for her on many times over the years and left it on her desk. He’d started doing that as a way to keep himself sane that first year after landing at Bad Wolf Bay.

The Doctor swallowed as he thought of her watching it once she learned how to open it. He knew he was a coward. He’d run from her until he couldn’t anymore and then had hated himself for doing exactly that. If she watched it, she would know as well. She had said she still loved him but he was scared that once she learned his new secrets then she wouldn’t even think of giving him a chance. Of course, she still might not give him a chance as it was. Might as well put everything as the line.

He was standing at the door to his room but knew that wasn’t where he wanted to be. He wouldn’t get any sleep in there, never did. Turning, he made his way down to her room and entered. He sniffed and yes this was where he could sleep. It had been so long since he’d slept more than an hour here and there. He lay on her bed with her pillow bunched under his head so he could be surrounded by the scent that was all her. She may have changed but her scent hadn’t. It was still purely Rose Tyler. He drifted off to sleep, hoping against hope that the nightmares wouldn’t come again.

The nightmares didn’t come but images did. Flashes of Rose in the hospital, always different injuries. Mostly different images. Her head always seemed to have been hurt in some way. There wasn’t a spot on her that hadn’t been broken. Then images of Jackie, and a young boy – must be her little brother, and Pete all murdered in front in her. The look of her broken as her memories were restored. Maniacal laughter sounded throughout the flashes along with taunts of he’s the same as me Rose. The final flash was of her watching her life’s blood pooling on and around her as if she couldn’t have cared less.

The Doctor woke screaming. The Tardis automatically started sending comforting waves to him. “NO! No, no, no, no, no. Oh Rassilon, please no.” His other self was supposed to be just like him. He was supposed to love her as much as he did. Why did it turn out like this? No wonder she was scared of him. He’d betrayed her by handing her over to a psychopath. Where had the images come from? Had Rose been thinking of what had happened? Was the Tardis sending them to him? He received a negative on that one. Or had the human him come over somehow and was broadcasting them loud and clear just for him?

The Doctor knew if it was his human half, then he wouldn’t need to do something crazy. He made his way to the console room and started scanning the planet for him. It might take some time but he didn’t care. If he was here then that meant Rose Tyler needed protection. He didn’t care that she had just regenerated, it actually did not even cross his mind. He needed a closer base to where she was so he went back in time and bought the house he had seen for sale on the same street as Sarah Jane. It wasn’t ideal, after all there was a house in between them but it was the best he could do at the moment. He landed the Tardis in the attic of the place and set up scans across the neighborhood.

Anyone with Void matter clinging to them would be suspect. He knew who Sarah Jane knew that had crossed the void so it was easy to filter out certain people. He didn’t want the cloister bell going off if one of those friends entered the area. For the next two days he waited and watched and saw those images over and over in his head. They were getting stronger and lasting longer. Full episodes of what had been done to her had planted themselves in his head and he tortured himself with them. On the third day, someone opened the Tardis door while he was grabbing a bite to eat in the galley.

The Doctor rushed out to the console room to find one Rose Tyler and one Jack Harkness standing there waiting for him. Her arms were crossed over her chest and a serious you have just pissed me off look was on her face. His eyes widened a bit. He looked over to Jack for help but he just grinned and stared at the floor.

“Oh no, don’t look at him for help Time Lord.” His eyebrows rose a bit. It’d been a long time since he’d heard that commanding tone in her voice and he grinned just slightly, hoping she wouldn’t notice. “You have been hiding here. I knew I felt you.”

“Rose….”He sputtered, “I’m just trying to make sure you are safe. Can you really blame me for that?” How could she be mad at him for keeping her safe? For making sure that psychopath didn’t come for her again?

She sighed and shook her head at him. “What are you keeping me safe from Doctor? I’ll let you explain and then you can explain why you are hiding two houses down from me instead of coming and telling me.” His eyes furrowed as she spoke, who the fuck did she think he was? A damn kid? He’d been giving her some space just like she’d wanted. It wasn’t his fault he was having dreams of the shite she’d been through in the other universe.

“I don’t fucking know Rose. All I know is that I’m having dreams of what you went through over there and I’m pretty damn sure you aren’t the one sending me messages. The Tardis says she isn’t either. So of course that only leaves one person who could right? I’m sitting here in this attic watching for anyone that has Void matter particles on them to enter this neighborhood. If it’s someone not vetted in my system then they are a danger to YOU.” He drew closer to her, his face bare inches from hers.

“I can’t keep you safe when I’m in the vortex so here I am. I didn’t come and tell you because you needed space and didn’t want me near you remember? You can’t trust me because obviously what that psychopath said is so damn true and I couldn’t dare love you without wanting to fucking kill you.” He turned away before he saw how his words made her feel. He couldn’t deal with it at that moment. He knew she was going to send him away again and he also knew that he wouldn’t listen.

“Harsh Doc.” Jack said as he watched Rose’s face. The Doctor spun around to throw out a retort of his own when he saw Rose turn completely white. He caught her as she fell and cradled her against him as he walked over to the jump seat. He moved her head to rest on his shoulder so he could look over at Jack while holding her.

“Not harsh Jack.” He looked down at her and grimaced. “It’s what she believes. And I don’t know how to fix that.” The pain in his eyes was frightening when he met Jacks eyes again with that confession. He was supposed to fix anything that was wrong and he didn’t know how to fix what the woman of his hearts believed about him.

“So instead you are sitting here in this completely empty house with images or visions or whatever of whatever happened to her going through your head trying to catch a psychopath from finding her again?” Jack shook his head sadly. “Why didn’t you just call me? Or Micky? Or anyone who could help you?”

“She doesn’t need me Jack. She needs you and Micky and any of the others who she feels safe with. But not me. Long ago maybe she would’ve but not anymore. I’m the one that did this to her. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been a coward and ran away none of this would’ve happened.” And that was crux of it wasn’t it. If he hadn’t made the decision that she would be happy with a human version of himself none of this would’ve come to pass. “Jack, you remember how to pilot the ship? If so, bring us over to Sarah Janes, I’ll bring her up to her room and leave again. Just keep an eye out please.”

“Sure Doc but you know if you try to run now, she’s gonna be even more pissed off at you.”

“I know but she doesn’t want me near her Jack, if so she wouldn’t have been so angry to find me here.” He shrugged, “So I’ll get out of the way.”

Jack grumbled about dense old Time Lords as he flipped switches and landed them in the backyard. He opened the doors and led the way to the room Rose had been staying in. He closed the bedroom door after the Doc walked through them, still grumbling about idiot Time Lords who didn't understand anything about the human heart.

The Doctor lay her on the bed softly and studied her face. The color was returning so she would be okay. It must have been the shock that he knew now what was going on that had caused her to pass out. Straightening, he turned on his heel and walked to the door. His hand was on the knob to turn it as he heard her speak.

“Stay.” His head fell against the door.

“You know I can’t”

“Why not?”

A deep breath. “You don’t want me here.”

“Then why did I say stay?” she whispered.

He spun around to find her a foot away from him. She took his hand and led him back to the bed. She helped him take his jacket off, pushed at him to sit and bent down to take his shoes off. Standing back up she took the same off of her. His hands shook as he wrapped them around her waist and pulled her to him. He buried his face against her stomach, tears from the pain of knowing all she had been through finally being allowed to fall. Her hands wrapped around the back of his head and just held him to her. She kissed the top of his head and let him cry it out.

After a couple of minutes, he turned his head upwards to look at her. “Rose Tyler, I am so very sorry. I thought I was doing what was right and that you would be happy with him. I thought you would be safe.” His hands clenched the fabric at her back. “I needed you to be safe and happy.”

She cupped the side of his face with one hand and smiled sadly. “I know Doctor. I knew that all along.” She leaned down and kissed him. His arms drew her to him even tighter as she nipped at his lower lip. He opened and her tongue entered. She ran her tongue over his teeth, then the roof of his mouth, making him moan, then tangled gently with his. When she pulled back, his storm blue eyes were almost black with need. She pushed him back on the bed and he scrambled to lay down as she straddled him.

Her hands went to the buttons of her shirt, then paused. Her eyes uncertain, she asked. “Unless you don’t want..?”

“Oh I want Rose Tyler, there’s never been a question of that.” He licked his lips as she unbuttoned her shirt for him. She could set the pace all she wanted and he would sit there like a starving man for any scrap she deemed him worthy of. Then the shirt was gone and his hands were on her bare skin. She leaned towards him and he licked his lips again. Their lips met briefly both placing kisses down the others neck. He bit at the spot where her shoulder and neck joined, bringing a moan from her sweet lips. He sucked until there would be a small bruise there. Something proving to him that she had chosen him. His hands cupped her breasts, kneading them and plucking at the nipples.

“Oh Rose”, he moaned as her hips rotated hard against his while she nipped at his earlobe. “Rose, baby, please.”

She leaned back and smirked at the look of heat he sent her. His hands held her hips still as he pressed himself against her. Her head rolled back as a whimper escaped her. His turn to smile. His mouth captured one mound while the other was covered with his hand. He sucked while his tongue traced designs on her before biting down on the nipple and his eyes watched as she almost came right then. He switched to the other one, a look of dark promise in his eyes.

“DOCTOR!!!!!! The Tardis is turning red and a bell is clanging. Get your asses down here now.” Jacks voice carried up from downstairs.

The Doctor growled grumpily as they jumped apart and he helped her find her shirt as he grabbed his shoes and jacket. They dressed quickly then he grabbed her hand and led her downstairs and outside to the Tardis. She had found him. Or he had found them. Time to finish this.


	6. His Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human Doctor arrives in London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is the Meta Crisis Doctors chapter. Warning that he is psychotic and his actions prove it. I had a hard time with this chapter as I am not one who normally imagines myself in the mind of a psychopath. I hope you all enjoy, or at least shiver a bit. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: Doctor Who and character are so not mine, I just play around with them a bit.

The human Doctor or John as he had taken to calling himself was at that moment standing in the middle of the tundra in Russia. Looking around, he was perplexed as to how he’d ended up there. Just moments before he had watched Rose Tyler die without her uttering a single protest. He’d thought he’d have a bit longer to enjoy her. Maybe he’d cut her too deep? Or was it the amount of times? No, he shook his head, that number was important. She’d joined them at that age. He wondered if she had understood how much thought he had put into that.

            She hadn’t seemed to understand why he had done all he had to her. The love he had shown her. He was sure now though that she understood, she would be reunited with those who had gone before her. It had been his dream for her so that she wouldn’t be lonely once he bathed in her blood. Yes, she surely now understood. He giggled at how she now understood that he wasn’t the psycho she had named him.

            He walked over to a near tree and licked it to find out exactly where he was. His eyes widened in surprise, oh this would be fun. No longer was he in the parallel universe where he had no Tardis and no twin brother. Well, he still didn’t have the twin brother, he’d felt him die when he’d regenerated. Their link had been broken and that was when he’d given up trying to live up to the hero the Time Lord had been. After the death of his twin, he had been able to be himself with no chance of censor from the other.

            John wondered if the Time Lord was on Earth at this time. He could have a lot of fun if he was and if it was one of the versions that knew him. He knew how much the Doctor hated violence so he wasn’t worried about what the Doctor would do to him. John knew all of the Doctors friends in this time. Who he was willing to visit again, and knew who he was going to visit first. Oh but it would be beautiful. The woman who had given him life would be the first he would visit and play with.

           

 

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

 

            John had realized that the Doctor was indeed on Earth in this time while he was playing with the young man who had been kind enough to give a complete stranger a ride to the nearest town. While he couldn’t link telepathically to this new Doctor, he was able to feel him once he landed on Earth. It had made him so giddy that he’d let his little toy live after just a few hours of torture. He had stolen the guys truck, but at least he had left him to be found near a hospital.

            Next, he wanted someone with a bit more stamina. These humans were so easily bled out. Whistling, he stopped at a small gas station before leaving the small town. He grabbed his sonic screwdriver he’d nicked parts for from Torchwood and proceeded inside. He needed a cash point. There was no one alive inside as he exited the building. Looking down at his suit, he realized he had gotten a spot of blood on his jacket. He would need to change before catching is next ride. Hopefully the city he was going to would have a nice store before he hit the airport.

 

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

            He had a window seat and a beautiful young woman sitting beside him. He had to admit she was quite delicious looking. He imagined how she would look with her blood pooling around her. He would need some white satin sheets she didn’t look washed out but it was doable. He turned on his megawatt smile and the charm. After all, when he wanted to be he could be irresistible.

            John led the young lady towards the room he had procured while on the flight and smiled delightfully. She had been coming on to him since halfway through the flight and he had found it humorous. She didn’t need to know that he was not a sexual creature. If anyone could have brought out that side of him, it would have been Rose Tyler but alas it wasn’t to be. He snickered to himself, he was more Time Lord than the actual Time Lord was.

            Leading the girl in the room, he kissed her and led her to the bed. He undressed her and told her to lay down. Pulling out a tie, he held in up with a smile and she nodded while raising her arms to the headboard. So easy to manipulate, these pathetic humans. Tying her hands together above her head, he reached in his pocket again, He had bought duct tape at that little service station. Well-ll, bought may be the wrong word. Giggling at his own thoughts, he wrapped the tape around her mouth and head. He wanted to see her eyes as he played with her for a while. She almost resembled his Rose and he wanted to see if she would fear him like he had wanted Her to.

            John had specifically asked for a well stocked kitchen when he had asked for the penthouse and he wandered in there looking for his tool of choice. Picking up the knives he tested the blade and grinned. Yes, these would work. He sauntered back into the bedroom, dropped the knives on the small table and began disrobing, leaving his pants on. No need to get his clothing dirty. He hung them up to avoid wrinkles and turned towards the girl on the bed. Her eyes widened and dilated when she saw his body. He took a moment to look down and admire himself as well. He did look good, maybe if his partner was himself he could manage to lust for something.

            Looking at the knives he had chosen, he saw a small paring knife and smiled to himself. Yes, smaller cuts all over would make this last longer. He crawled up on the bed between her legs and lay the blade across her chest. He drew it down her breast to the nipple and watched the blood well there. Not enough, a little deeper then. He tried again, this time the blood ran freely washing her in the beautiful rich red paint. He did this again to her other breast and watched joyously as the blood began to run together down to pool under her. He worked his magic on her, watching the fear in her eyes grow more and more.

            Mmmm, now this was wonderful. John didn’t understand why more people didn’t do this. His art was beyond beauty. The human language didn’t have a word to describe it. Maybe if they did, they would understand why they should also partake. He missed the muffled screams that had stopped, now she just lay there limp, her heart fighting to keep her alive. Each pump of that organ pushed more blood out of the cuts. He lay the knife down and smiled at her gently. His hands cupped what blood he could and brought it to spill over the parts of her body that weren’t covered already. She needed to be bathed in her life blood to show properly just how lovely she really was. He pouted as her heard her heart stop beating. Humans just did not last long enough. He then lay beside her body and slept like a babe.

            Waking, he decided to take a shower and get ready for meeting his mother once again.


	7. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tardis had located the Meta Crisis Doctor and the crew rush to where he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter doesn't focus on any one character. I hope you all enjoy it :) There will be a couple more chapters before this story is finished.
> 
> Disclaimer: Doctor Who and characters belong to the BBC and no matter how much I imagine what could've or should've happened, I will never own them. :p

 

            The Tardis had found him. Once they were ready she would bring them to wherever he was at that time. The Doctor was arguing with multiple past companions about whether or not they were coming with him when she took it upon herself to transport them where they were needed.

            At everyone’s confused look he shrugged. “She’s been deciding that if she is tired of me then she does whatever she wants lately. Guess the choice is out of my hands.”

            “Doc, you never had a choice. Rose not letting you go by yourself, I’m not letting you two out of my sight, and the others have their own reasons.” Jack leaned against the wall as they moved across town. “We should all be ready when she lands.”

            Mickey and Martha glanced at each other and smiled. Another adventure sounded fabulous to them and Sarah Jane was coming along to make sure everyone came back.

            They all had their reasons and all their reasons centered on the Time Lord and Lady at the console. They were still arguing though.

            “You are not going out there to face him alone!” Rose exclaimed. “He’s dangerous and I don’t want you hurt by him.”

            “Rose, I think I can take care of one little human without getting myself killed. What do you take me for?” His anger was palpable. His eyes were narrowed and eyebrows drawn. His body was taunt from trying to control himself. He reminded Rose of a powerful magician who could do anything. While he rattled on about why he was qualified to do this on his own, she watched him appreciatively. He wasn’t the pretty boys from the past. No, he was more like her first doctor, the one that could make her feel safe in the middle of a building about to be destroyed by a missile. He was so very intense and that was sexy as hell.

            The Tardis landed and Jack opened the door to see where they were. The Doctors eyes widened considerably. They were out in front of Donna Nobles home. The human Doctor was going to kill Donna.

            “No, it’s Donna. He’s after Donna. She can’t find out about any of this. I had to seal off all of her memories because she would have burned her brain out if not. If he makes her remember, she’ll die.” The group of friends all looked to each other before they took off at a run to enter the house and save one of their number.

            Jack was the first to throw open the door and he gaped at what he saw. The human Doctor was sitting on the couch, his legs crossed, flipping through television channels. He jumped up, as springy as his counterpart had been back then. He grinned at all of them as they entered the house until the last two walked in slowly. Those two walked to the front of the assembled group and watched him warily.

            “Hello everyone. Well I must say,” he put his hands in his trouser pockets and rocked back on his heels, “I am surprised to see you old again. Thought you liked being young and good looking.” He waved his hand as though dismissing The Doctor and studied Rose. “Who are you? I know you’re a Time Lady but I can’t place you. Interesting”

            Rose grinned wolfishly, “My chosen name is The Wolf.” Everyone, even her Doctor stared at her for a moment and grinned. It really did make sense.

            John frowned at the name, this couldn’t be Rose, he had killed her. “You can’t be the Wolf. I killed the Wolf a few weeks ago. By the way, to avoid confusion just call me John.”

            “Oh I know you killed me. It seems though that the universes had plans for me though and so here I am. You will not hurt anyone else John. I’ll make sure of it.” Her eyes gleamed gold as she uttered the last words.

            John giggled at her. “I’m just here to see my Mum. Sure she’s been wondering about how we are.” He tilted his head at her. “How are you able to stand beside him knowing that he could kill you just as easily as I did?”

            The Doctor glowered at him but let Rose answer. “He would never hurt me John. And he knows I wouldn’t him.”

            John clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Well you say that but he left you on that beach with me. So he did hurt you. If he hadn’t done that, I would’ve never had the chance to do what I did.” He took his sonic screwdriver out and flipped it end over end. “I’d say he did it just so he could get rid of you.”

            “Your words aren’t going to work this time John….” Her words were interrupted by a key scraping in the door. Donna opened it and stared at them all. Her mother and grandfather stood behind her. Their eyes were large with fear at what they saw. Donna strode into the room, hands on hips and opened her mouth to speak.

            “Hello Donna, Are you my mummy?” John had a look on his face that could be a cross between an eager child and a being of pure evil. He rushed forward to touch her temple as everyone jumped to pull her away. “Contact. Wake up Donna Noble.” Her eyes swung around the room and tears ran down her face at the sudden pain.

            Rose flicked her wrist and time stopped around Donna and John. Everyone turned to stare at her as if she wasn’t possible. She smiled. “No one will hurt her. We are going to fix our Donna Noble so that no one need worry if she remembers anything. Thus I locked them both until we figure out what to do.” The Doctor stood there with his mouth gaping at her. She leaned towards him and shut it for him. “Your disbelief is showing dear.” She patted his cheek and winked at him.

            Sylvia and Wilf were sputtering in the background as their companions all led them into the kitchen to sit down before they collapsed. Wilf was the first of the two to get himself together. He pulled himself up to his full height, which really wasn’t much, glared around at everyone, and joined the Doctor and Rose in the sitting room again.

            “I know who that is, he’s the Doctor, but who are you two? And why did the Doctor come back to do this to my Donna after he warned us of not reminding her of anything?” He resolutely crossed his arms and waited for an answer.

            “Wilf, I am the Doctor, that is a copy of me from back then. Remember when I took in all that radiation that day and I said I was going to die? Well that face did, this is me a few years later. More than a few years actually.” The Doctor explained to him patiently. They heard Sylvia start becoming hysterical in the other room and Rose rolled her eyes,

            “Doctor, you can put people to sleep right?” At his nod, she stated simply, “Knock her out then, I’m trying to think here.”

“Wish you had thought of that when your mum would start screaming at me back then.” He smirked at her and followed orders. She laughed to herself and stood there staring at the two in the bubble. She would have to let them out soon but she didn’t want to let Donna continue without her memories. The woman was absolutely brilliant and she so wanted to get to know more about her.

“So, who are you? Are you like him?” Wilf asked quietly as he eyed his granddaughter.

“Sir, at one time I was human, then something magical happened to me. I met a man who took my hand and told me to run. He made me feel like I could do anything and taught me how to be a better person.” She didn’t notice that everyone else had returned to the room and were standing quietly listening to her. She was telling her story while working on the problem in front of her. “We went on so many adventures, saved so many, many people, humans and aliens alike. We traveled to the time when the Earth dies and back to the past where I met Charles Dickens. I was banned from England even before any of us here were born and one day that man sent me into his police box for a tool and he sent me back home while he stayed on a space station two hundred thousand years in the future to die.”

Rose glanced at Wilf to see if he was following her. When he nodded silently, she smiled and continued. “With the help of my mother and my friend Mickey, I was able to return to him. I looked into the very heart of his ship and she looked into me. We agreed that our Doctor must not be harmed and so joined together to save his life. When I stepped out of his Police Box, my leather Doctor was so very scared. I saved him, committed genocide, and brought my very best friend back to life forever. And you know what? All the time that I was doing that, I was rewriting my own genetic code. I saw his future and knew what would happen if he didn’t have someone to travel with him. I saw all of his wonderfully fantastic, brilliant companions and I knew that one day he would have had to say good bye to so many of them that he would no longer choose any so I fixed it so that he would never have to be alone again. I created myself.”

She stopped talking for a moment, “I was a bit full of myself I think. But you see, I just wanted my Doctor safe. And you know what Wilf?” He shook his head at her. “I want your Donna safe too, and I will make that happen.” She turned towards the others then. They all had this look of surprise on their faces.

“What’s wrong with you lot?” No one said a word, only two in the group had known all of what had conspired at the Game station and they both just grinned at her. Jack hugged her tightly before moving closer to the time bubble. He was studying it. Her Doctor came up to her and his hands cupped her face. He placed a gentle kiss against her lips before following Jack.

“Doctor, the problem that Donna has is that she has too much Time Lord knowledge in her brain and that’s what will kill her, yeah?” She walked back over to him as he thought about it.

“That would be the problem Rose.”

“”And you couldn’t take it out of her because you already had all that knowledge?” She questioned again.

“Again, you are correct.” He was looking at her as though she was a puzzle he was trying to figure out. “Why? What are you thinking?”

“Can you transfer that knowledge? You know, like how when you have too much data on a computer and you save it to a usb drive? It then frees up space in the computer. Everyone says that the brain is just like a computer. Why should this be any different?” She shrugged, “Just gotta transfer it between brains, and there’s a Time Lady brain here that needs some things filled in and a human brain over there that needs to be emptied.”

Martha listened to all of this and covered her mouth trying to stifle the laugh she was holding back. Rose really was absolutely brilliant. Mickey just shook his head and grinned like the idiot the Doctor had always called him, and Sarah Jane laughed out loud. When she had first met Rose, she hadn’t really thought the girl could use her brain. By the end of that adventure though she had known differently. This just proved it further. She really was a match for the doctor.

The Doctor and Jack were looking at each other, then back to Rose again. They both wore identical smiles of amazement on their faces.

Wilf looked at all of them and asked, “Will that work?”

“Wilf, meet my Rose, the most fantastic, brilliant, amazing woman there is. She’s just saved your granddaughters life. I’m a genius and I never thought of something like this. This is why I love humans so much. You lot are always surprising.” The Doctor took charge of everyone then. He directed Mickey and Jack to grab ahold of John and for Martha to hold her weapon on him in case he escaped them. He then had Wilf move to the doorway of the room so he was at least somewhat safe. He and Rose took up their spots by Donna. He nodded to her and she release the time bubble.

Rose touched her forehead to Donnas and the Doctor touched both their temples, making the connection happen. Rose fell into Donna’s mind and pushed open the door that had cracked open. The transfer of information was absolutely amazing for Rose to watch. It flew from Donna mind and into her own without leaving a single trace behind. Doors hiding memories were knocked down and Donna could use again be the woman she had become because of her travels with the Doctor. The three of them stepped back at the same time, with Rose stumbling under the weight of it all.

Donna opened her eyes as her memories put themselves in place correctly. She scowled over at who she thought was the Doctor. “Oi Spaceman, I ough….”

The Doctor interrupted her, “Donna, I’m the spaceman, that one is the copy we left in the other universe.”

She turned wide eyes on him. She tilted her head to an alarming angle as she studied him. “So what, you take my memories and then turnt into a magician or something?” Rose couldn’t help it, she cracked up at the Doctors affronted look. Donna studied Rose for a moment as well.

“You’re her.” Rose nodded. “you’ve changed a bit. Both of ya go around changing your faces often do ya?” Rose grinned at her and winked.

“Remember the whole extra hand thing and that copy over there?” The copy started to grumble but didn’t want the three attached to him to get any funny ideas. Donna gave her a look that was affirmative. “Well he murdered me over there, oh almost a month ago. Somehow I ended up over here again and regenerated. Apparently he followed.”

“OMG! I’m so sorry, I thought him being human would give you what he couldn’t. So did he.” Her hands clamped over her mouth in shock as she turned to glare daggers at the one who had done it. “What are you going to do with him?”

The Doctor wasn’t sure but they had to get him away from the humans on this planet. When he suggested such, everyone was in agreement. Donna decided she was going along with them to make sure as well.

Back on the Tardis, John was placed in an anti-gravity room and everyone met up together in the console to discuss what was going to happen to him.

“Maybe a prison or a mental hospital?” Jack suggested, but then shook his head no. “Nevermind, he would find a way out. Too smart that one.”

Every plan anyone thought of, someone else would shoot down because of some flaw that he could exploit.

A couple hours later, they were all out of ideas and nowhere closer to finding one when the Tardis sounded a warning. Somehow he had escaped and no one could figure out how.

“He’s too smart to expect anything but the unexpected out of him.” Rose thought out loud. “So what would we expect him to do? Or wouldn’t”

“I’d expect him to stay away from the console room as surely we would leave a lookout here.” Martha suggested suddenly.

“Yes, or to try to get control of the Tardis which means he would still need to get in here.” The Doctor looked thoughtful,. “Yes, I would expect him to try and get ahold of Rose again.”

Suddenly, they all heard am insane giggle sounding throughout the Tardis. The Tardis sent a message of worry and fear to the Doctor and Rose. John was doing something to her. Rose’s eyes flashed gold as she started running.

“Rose!” The Doctor and others had no choice but to follow. They raced down several corridors until Rose stopped in front of one. She held up a sign for everyone to be quiet and sent a telepathic message to her Doctor. _“He’s in the control room from his time, trying to override the controls.”_ He took a deep breath and turned towards their friends. He motioned them to follow him and as soon as they were out of hearing distance, explained in a low voice what was going on.

The door to the control room opened and Rose was pulled through before it sealed itself again. The Doctor ran to it and started banging on the metal. “No, you can’t trap her in there with him. You know what she went through before.” He tried to sonic the entrance, knowing it was no use and slid down to the floor hopelessly.

“Doctor, what’s going on? You can’t give up!” Martha yelled at him. As the others were agreeing with her, a low hum sounded in the corridor. It was a projection of Rose Tyler back when she had first become the Bad Wolf.

“Do not worry my friends. I will keep you safe.” She turned and smiled at each of them and then continued in her otherworldly voice. “I saw this day coming and have protected you from what is on the other side. You do not need to witness what is happening now.” She floated over to the Doctor. “You look so very sad my heart. Do not worry, the story of The Doctor and The Wolf is just beginning. All of these years you have hurt but no longer. It is not allowed.” His eyes searched hers and whatever he found there made him believe. The projection turned her gaze toward the door.

“The Wolf is angry now. The imposter has threatened the Wolf’s pack. No one is allowed to threaten the Wolfs pack.” Everyone’s eyes widened at what she was saying. Sad golden eyes closed for a moment. “The imposter did not accept the terms. He is gone now.” She turned back to the Doctor. “The Wolf has learned much from you and she tried to give him the chance you were not going to. He has killed many and now he has faced what he brought upon himself. Do not blame yourself Doctor. He let himself go bad. You did not make that choice for him.”

Standing the Bad Wolf floated back down the corridor until they could no longer hear the humming any longer. All eyes turned towards the Doctor and a chorus of voices sounded. Everyone wanted to know what was going on and how the original Rose’s image had shown up there. He didn’t have a clue but then again, His Rose had never been one to stand to the side and watch as something happened that she felt needed to be taken care of.

The doorway opened and the new Rose came towards them. The Doctor jumped up and started searching her for injuries before she told him she was fine with a small smile. He turned toward his old console room and searched for the remains. When he didn’t find any, he looked back over at her, an eyebrow raised in question. She waved to the room and a holographic projection of the last few minutes started playing.

They saw John threaten anyone Rose had ever cared for. When Rose had tilted her head at him and replied that she was no longer the weak child he had killed, he had threatened the Doctor and the Tardis. Rose asked him if he was sure that this was what he wanted to do. Wouldn’t he like to try a different way? He had laughed and replied that his mission in life was to make her suffer. If he couldn’t kill her then he would make sure all her loved ones did. She had nodded her head resolutely. Her last words were simple. “Then you are scattered.” They watched as his body disintegrated in front of them. The projection ended and all turned to see Rose fall to the ground in a faint. A small amount of gold escaped her mouth and returned to the Tardis. Bad Wolf had left her once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought Donna was awesome and needed a fix it, so here's my version. :) Hope you all enjoyed.


	8. The Dream Part1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffiness abounds, part 1 of 2 parts. Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer applies, everything belongs to BBC :)

             The Doctor carried Rose to Med lab, which of course the Tardis had moved as close as she could. Murmuring a thanks to the magnificent ship, he lay her on the bed and turned to locate the scanner. He was rummaging through cabinets when he felt her mind brush against his. His knees almost buckled under him at the intimate touch and he threw out an arm to catch himself.

            Rose grinned mischievously at him when he glared. She thought of running her hands through those silver curls, tugging them at the nape and running her nails right below and he groaned.

            “Fuck.” He pointed a long finger at her, “You. Behave.” He started the scanner over her and she licked that lower lip. His eyes lost focus. He felt a tongue and then teeth nip below his ear and closed his eyes. His breath rushed out and he gripped the metal edge of the bed with his free hand.

            “Rose. Fuck. Stop. Please.” He begged her. “I need to make sure you’re okay. Then you can do whatever you want. Please do whatever you want.”

            She never said a word, just sucked that lip in and then pouted with it. The glistening flesh held his attention. When he licked his own lips and glanced up, her eyes were more black than green. “Hurry up Lord of Time so I can stop the world and melt with you.”

            He chuckled at her as he restarted the scan on her, “Always knew you were punk.” He frowned at the screen and hit it on the side as it flickered, Rose smiled at the familiar action. He used to argue with all his homemade devices back then.

            “What?” The Doctor asked, catching the small smile.

            “Nothing Doctor.” An eyebrow arched at her as he continue what he was doing and Rose closed her eyes as her mind wandered. She wasn’t sure when she had realized that this Doctor wasn’t the same as his copy. Perhaps she had always known. Yes, at first she had feared him but his reactions when he got angry had confused her.

            Her blue eyed leather Doctor, he had been intense but never had she feared him. He’d made her feel safe and cared for. He had been snarky at times but over the years, Rose had realized that was usually caused by either herself or Jack and their flirting with him or each other. Oh, but his smile, she had done all she could to make him smile. And his eyes, those fathomless blue eyes had conveyed so many emotions. There had been times when his eyes would hold so much pain that she would end up in her room crying for no other reason than the sadness she felt coming from him in waves. Towards the end though, his eyes had gentled and started showing another emotion that she hadn’t dared to hope for. Then she’d killed him. Well, she’d saved him, then he’d saved her, and then she’d killed him. He’d never told her about that day but she’d remembered after being left in Pete’s World.

            Rose thought about her other Doctor, the energetic, puppy dog eyed, not ginger but rude Doctor. He had been exactly what her first Doctor would have labeled a pretty boy. He’d been absolutely gorgeous. The first few weeks after the regeneration, she’d so wanted her original Doctor back, mainly because of how different he had been than the first one. He still hadn’t made her afraid of him for herself, no, she’d been afraid for others who crossed him. His anger and bitter regret had worried her but it had always been pushed to the back of her mind by his happiness and worry over her. He’d made her feel loved although they had never gone that final step between them. Then had come the John. She shivered and opened her eyes. No use thinking of that one right now.

            Rose almost jumped when she met the grey blue eyes of the current Doctor. His face was about six inches from hers and he seemed a bit worried. His face had lines in it now but that didn’t bother her in the least. She preferred it actually. She smothered a snicker at herself. Imagine, Rose Tyler, just now realizing that she preferred the look of an older man. She really should’ve figured that out all those years ago with his ninth body. No ‘pretty boy’ had been able to make her look away even then. Funny now that she thought about it and remembered how jealous he had acted then. If only she had had the guts to try it.

            “You okay?” The gruff Scottish burr so close to her asked.

            “Just thinking,” she smiled secretly.

            “About what?” His mouth was so very close to hers and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand playing in that hair at the nape.

            “You, and your past bodies. How all of you, well most of you, have always made me feel safe and cared for.” His eyes darted to her mouth as she slowly pulled him the last few inches to her. Their lips touched gently, neither applying too much pressure. Just enough to let the other know they were there. The doctor ran his hands down to her hips and lifted her up off the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he turned and pressed her against the wall. He sucked at the lip that had held his attention earlier until she gasped softly. His tongue entered her mouth, tasting her and groaning. _Could kiss you forever._

_Mmm respiratory bypass system is good for something._ She felt his chuckle in her mouth as they continued to stroke each other, one retreating and the other following. Teeth were traced and the roof of mouths learned.

            Rose had finished unbuttoning his coat and vest and pushed them off his shoulders so she could get to his shirt. Unbuttoning it, she ran her nails lightly over his skin and he tore his mouth from hers as he gasped. His eyes were storm grey again, damn they were sexy like that. She was helping him remove the shirt as well when they heard an intake of breath. Her forehead hit his shoulder and he swore in their minds. At least she wasn’t the only one. She peeked an eye out over his shoulder and saw Mickey standing there grinning like an idiot. Growling she sent him a look that would have frozen anyone else but he just laughed.

            “About time you two. But we need to get moving, the boys will be home soon.”

            “Mickey, Time Machine,” the Doctor reminded him.

            “Don’t matter boss, want to get back before they get there. You two can catch up later. Martha and me need to get home.” That got Roses’ attention.

            “You and Martha yeah? And boys? Oh Mickey that’s great.” She kissed the Doctor quickly then moved around him to lead Mickey back to the console room. She heard a quiet bang before they were ten feet out the room. She grinned.

            The Doctor was cursing every friend slash companion they had around at that moment. He banged the back of his head against the wall a couple times out of pure frustration. He willed himself to calm down before following them out of the room. Wouldn’t do any good to let others see him in that shape. It was bad enough to have let Mickey see it although a small part of him almost preened over it. Must be left overs from his previous bodies.

            The Doctor watched his friends laugh and play around with each other from his captain’s chair. His fingers were steepled in front of him as his eyes took in the way they all reacted to each other. He’d known of course that they would mostly get along. Donna and Sarah Jane had been the two he’d worried about the most out of the group. He should’ve known that worrying wasn’t necessary. They all got along famously and it worried him a bit. He did not need the grief that they could all cause him if they started trading stories. His eyes settled on Rose laughing with the others. A small smile played on his lips.

            She had changed so much since they had been together. Her eyes held much sadness now, a fear that hopefully was now going away. He wasn’t sure what he would do if she continued to be scared of him. Anyone else he really didn’t care what they thought of him anymore. He’d lost so many friends since they had parted. He’d lost his wife before he had even known her but he had tried to love her. And he had in his own way but she had never reached the level of his yellow and pink girl. Granted she wasn’t yellow and pink anymore. She was darker now inside and out but his hearts still raced every time he lay eyes on her. No matter the body she would eventually inhabit, he knew she would always be his Rose.

            Rose caught a few of his thoughts and winked at Jack then went over to the Doctor. As she neared, he held out his hand just like so many other times through their time together. He had made her dependent on that hand. She took it and he stood. Their two hands lay flat against each other between them as he gazed into her emerald eyes. Then he looked at their hands and spread his fingers as she did hers. They clasped together perfectly. The fit was still there and they both smiled into each other’s eyes again. All chatter in the background quieted as the friends watched with varying degrees of disbelief and finallys on their faces.

            “Rose, I took your hand when you were nineteen and told you to run. That day was the beginning of the best few years of my life. I never gave someone a second chance to come with me, and I fought giving it to you. I ran away because I was scared of what I felt when you saved me that day. I was scared of how empty my hand felt as soon as I dropped yours and told you to forget me.” He brought his other hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb lightly rubbing against her lips. His eyes searched hers as he took a deep breath. “That body was born from the War. It harbored all of my fears. I was in such a dark place when you found me. You made me want to live again and somehow I learned how to love again because of you. You captivated me and I was so scared but so happy to have you by my side.”

            The group of friends were looking at each other wide eyed and Jack was lietrally jumping up and down squealing inside his head. He had been waiting for this ever since that time and prayed that the Doctor was not going to screw it up again. This one, he hoped, would have thought all of this through. Jack was a betting man though and was sure that none of the Doctors had ever thought through anything before rushing into action.

            Roses empty hand raised to rest on the space between his two hearts as she waited for him to continue. This was new and she wanted to know exactly how this new new Doctor was going to finish.

            “Our first kiss was when you saved my life on the Game Station. I couldn’t let you, of all people, burn Rose. Never you. Then I changed into my tenth body. He was made for you, did you know?” At the shake of her head, “Oh yes. He was born from my love for you. He was everything I thought you wanted. He was a pretty boy and energetic and emotional. But he was scared too. He was so scared when you asked me to bring me back. He decided to try and hide his love from you, sure you would reject him like you rejected his body. He couldn’t though. Everything he did was to prove how very much he loved you yet he was still scared that you would leave him.”  Rose’s eyes filled with tears at those words. She buried her face in his shoulder for a moment while she composed herself. The Doctor made calming sounds in her ear until she met his eyes again. “Don’t cry Rose. There were so many times I almost told you but was too much of a coward then. Krop Tor was the place when I realized that I didn’t need anything else as long as I had you and I wanted to tell you so much but then Canary Wharf happened. And I lost you. I broke Rose.” Her eyes widened at that revelation.

            Donna nodded while holding her hand over her mouth. The others around he noticed the silent tear fall as she remembered her first adventure with the Doctor. She was still convinced that he had planned on dying there with the Racnoss. There had been such hopelessness on his face and the pain in his eyes had scared her so very much. She’d never told anyone of how crazy he had seemed at that time and she had hidden it even from herself when she went looking for him again.

            “I was ready to die Rose. I’d just lost you and I wanted to stop hurting so much. I’d fall asleep and see you falling. So many times Pete didn’t catch you, you just fell into the Void. I stopped sleeping after that. Sometimes the Tardis would force me down when I would be so exhausted she felt it was a danger to us both.” The remembered pain in his eyes took her breath away. She nodded at him in understanding. She had also gone until she couldn’t not sleep any longer for months after the separation.

            Taking another deep breath, he kissed her lips as their foreheads leaned together. “I hurt Martha. I was rude and didn’t pay attention to her. Whenever there was something I couldn’t quite figure out I would say things like Rose would know. I never would have done that to you. I didn’t mean to hurt her though. But I know you need to know that. She was so brilliant Rose. If not for her and Jack that year that never was would’ve always been. They were great and I love them.” His eyes fell on the friends watching them and smiled. “I love every one of them for different reasons.” The praise from the Doctor was received with giant grins and bashful smiles all around, none of them speaking though. They wanted to see where the Doctor was going and if he was actually going to stand and fight for what he wanted this time.

            “I visited every one of you before that body died. I didn’t want to face you all again after I had failed you all so badly.” He turned to gaze back down at her. “You though, I couldn’t die without seeing you with those eyes one last time. So I went back to New Years Day, midnight and I spoke to you one last time. You were so beautiful Rose. You were the first and the last human face I saw before that body died and my loneliness broke me more at the point than anything else ever has. I was alone for so long after you. After I left you at Bad Wolf Bay, I lost Donna too. I didn’t travel with anyone else until after I regenerated.”

            “No.” She whispered as the tears continued to fall down Rose’s face. Being so close to him, she could see every memory he thought of during those days and her heart broke for the man he had become. So much pain and heartache had made him give up.

             He wiped her tears and continued. “My eleventh body was graceless. He refused to remember anything painful. He made new friends and had amazing adventures with them. Those friends were married and had a baby who was kidnapped and I went to war to save their child. I found out how feared I was Rose. I had made so many people so scared of me that they banded together to try and get rid of me. The child they stole would one day be not only the woman that killed me but also the woman that I married.” He stopped at everyone’s intake of breath then. No one knew his stories from that body. He did not want to tell Rose about his marriage but thought it best. He tried moving away from her but she kept a firm hold and dared him to try. He swept her hair behind her ear and sighed.

             “I didn’t marry her because I loved her Rose though I did try to make it work. Maybe I felt safe with her because I had already killed her while in my tenth body. Donna was there at that time. She is probably still uploaded in the Library’s mainframe.” At the confused looks he was receiving he sadly smiled. “She entered my life backwards, from her dying to being born, to me trying to make up to her what would happen in her timeline soon after. I did love her but not the way I should have. But I lost them all. I stopped trying to fix everything and spent a long time hiding out in Victorian England on a cloud. The Tardis was constantly angry with me but I couldn’t do it again. Their deaths all reminded me of how much I failed everyone here and I stopped. Until one day I met an impossible girl.”

             He smiled the first genuine smile since he had started talking. “Clara was a puzzle and you know me, I like puzzles. I had met her before also when she had been a Dalek that refused to be a Dalek. She believed she was still human and had been fighting them off for years. But she had died far in the future. But here she was again in England, too far in the past. And she died again because I couldn’t save her. But more versions of her kept popping up and we finally figured out that she had stepped into my time stream to save me from the Great Intelligence. Very strange that was.” Rose’s eyebrows had risen a bit at that part of his monologue and he smirked at her slight show of jealousy. “She’s still around, I’ll introduce you two soon.” He hugged her tightly before he could continue to the rest of his story. The part that would surprise everyone in the room.

             “At the end, I traveled to Trenzalore. The fated place of my final death. I’m not sure if it still is now but we will see. Oh, right, I should tell you that it happens that I really didn’t destroy Gallifrey, I saved her and sent her into a pocket universe. That’s important here. I went to Trenzalore because of a message that was being broadcast from a crack there. The message ended up being from Gallifrey looking for a way back into our universe. The question it asked was Doctor Who? All the enemies I have made over the years and all the enemies the Time Lords ha made over the years were surrounding the planet. I couldn’t let them back in here and so I fought to keep that planet safe against any and all who tried. I never answered the question. Finally it was my time to die, I grew very old and could barely stand so I went out to face the Daleks one last time.”

             “Wait, you couldn’t regenerate? You were just going to die?” Rose’s face had paled at the thought and all their friends looked the same but also were questioning how he was still there.

             “No, I was on my last life. I lived almost a thousand years in that body though. So it was a less jeopardy friendly one that the others had been. I was ready to die Rose but as I stood there, the crack opened in the sky and regeneration energy washed over me. The power from that energy destroyed all the Daleks and others who were there to destroy me. The Time Lords gave me an entire cycle all over again and I used the first one immediately.”  He traced a finger down her jawbone while gathering his thoughts.

             “I thought of you when I was regenerating. I even made sure to tell Clara that I wasn’t her boyfriend. That wasn’t really her fault though, I had fooled myself into caring for her a small bit but this body is very rude and of course still not ginger. I was very angry at not seeing you beside me after this body came about. No one would ask the right questions and I couldn’t remember very much but I remembered you. Your smile and the way you would laugh at me or call me daft and always you would ask the right questions. I’ve seen you everyday since I regenerated into this body. And now you’re here.” He pressed a kiss against her and she opened for him. It was slow and hot and oh yeah there were others in the room and they couldn’t do this yet. They parted, their foreheads resting together.

             “Forever, Rose, stay with me forever. I can’t walk without you again. My hand and hearts have been so empty all these years. Will you be the one person I spend the rest of my lives with?” He asked her quietly.

             Her hand covered her mouth as she took in what he said. It shook as she cupped his cheek and he pressed a kiss there, never taking his gaze from hers. Everyone in the room held their breath as they waited for her answer.

             She smiled that tongue touched smile he had fallen in love with so very long ago and simply said, “Yes.”

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning next chapter contains lots of smut, will be posted in a day or two. Sorry I haven't been able to keep up with the like the first part of the story :)


	9. The Dream Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of The Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning, hope you all enjoy
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not and never will own anything pertaining to Doctor Who, the BBC does though :)

Rose and the Doctor dropped everyone off where they needed to be with promises to everyone that they would return soon. It seemed there were expectations from the women of the friends and expectant looks from the guys. They all wanted to know what was going to happen now that Rose had returned and the Doctor had basically proposed in front of them all. The Doctor had hung back when everyone had started hugging and had received a few disbelieving looks when he had to explain that he wasn’t a touchy sort of person anymore. When Mickey had pointed out that he didn’t have a problem touching Rose, he’d received an elbow in the gut from Martha.

An expectant air flowed around everyone and they looked at Rose and the Doctor for the answer. He grunted something under his breath and Rose laughed out loud. At Jacks raised eyebrow, she explained.

“Guess I’m special. Something about I’m supposed to be in his arms.” All the females ahhed at the response while the men joked about the Doctor no longer being a bloke.

“Not a normal bloke though.” He wrapped his hand around Rose and tugged her back against him. “Couldn’t keep her if I was. Now we’re off, see you all later.”

Rose waved goodbye as they entered the Tardis and grinned as he let go just long enough for them to pilot the ship into the vortex. She watched as he turned toward her and started stalking her around the console until she was near an area of it that was semi flat. He reached behind her and flipped a switch.

“Don’t want the telepathic coils to move us to wherever you’re thinking of.” He started unbuttoning her shirt. Her hands tried to do the same for him but he swatted them away. “You first. Gotta prove how much of a male I am to you.” He grinned at her chiding look.

Rose opened her mouth to respond and he claimed her lips, tongue tracing her teeth before exploring. Pulling back, he pressed quick presses down her throat to the skin he had uncovered so far. Fingers quickly removing the shirt. He stepped back and stared at her, his hands smoothing from her pants up her stomach until they reached her breasts. She was barely breathing, watching him and waiting. He kissed the area below her ear and nibbled there before sucking gently. Pulling back he grinned at the darkening skin.

Rose raised her hand to the spot, “You didn’t.” An eyebrow asked her if she was sure of that as he mouth trailed kisses down her neck to her breasts. She bit her lip as a tongue flicked the taut peak of her nipple. He nipped playfully and switched his attention to the other. She felt a wave of arousal pooling further below and a small sound of need escaped her. She could feel his lips grinning as he moved his hands further down to remove her pants. He stood up after she was undressed and simply admired her for a moment. He moved his hands to her buttocks and lifted her onto the console.

The Doctor moved in for another kiss before settling to his knees in front of her. Raising one foot, he pressed a kiss to her ankle and continued up her calf until he reached her knee. Placing another kiss to the side there, he placed her leg over his shoulder as one hand moved up the other leg and his mouth moved closer to here he intended to be.

 _‘Been wanting to do this since I met you.’_ His stormy eyes met hers as his mouth moved to the bud of nerves situated there. His teeth nipped at her eliciting a gasp as his tongue lapped at her. He’d wanted to taste her for so long and he groaned against her. _“Damn Rose, you taste so good.”_

Throwing her head back, she moaned from what his mouth was doing to her. Never had anyone wanted to do this to her. He slowly slid two finger into her, curling inside. Nipping at her cleft, he moved his fingers gently. A fine tremor shook her and he bit lightly at her as he slid the fingers home and she exploded. The Doctor growled as he felt and tasted her orgasm, removing his fingers so he could capture every last drop of it. He stood, pressing himself against her and captured her lips again. She could taste herself on him as he ravaged her mouth.

 _‘Need you. Need to be inside you.’_ He picked her up and had her wrap her legs around his waist. He made his way down the corridor to his bedroom. Once inside he lay her on the bed and quickly removed his clothes. She scooted up the bed to lay on the pillows as she watched him. She swallowed as he revealed a very nice body. He didn’t have a six pack like she’d once glimpsed on her first Doctor but is body was still very much in shape and she almost purred as he stood before her completely naked. _‘Oh damn, you look so good.’_

Her words in his mind caused a smirk at her as he moved to lay beside her. He kissed her as he pulled her over him. Smiling he let her decide what came next and she slowly lowered herself on him. Two pairs of eyes closed at the feeling of rightness. He pulled her mouth to his as his hand moved towards her temple.

_‘Can I? I need to feel you completely Rose.’_

_“Do it Doctor, I need it too.’_

Their foreheads touched as jade gazed into storm tossed seas and they touched each other’s temple. Their minds merged completely as colors of blue, grey, pink, and gold mixed around the room. Moving back up, Rose moved her hips on him, causing the colors to swirl in the same rhythm. Surprised, she rose and fell and so did the colors. Glancing down at him, she found a answering grin on his lips.

“That’s interesting,” she gasped as he ground himself up into her.

“That’s our auras mixing together.” His fingers gripped her hips and moved her in the rhythm they both needed. She gasped as a wave of pleasure engulfed her. She moved as he needed her to and gasps and moans were the only sounds heard in the room.

The Doctor watched her with hooded eyes, his fortune astounding him still. This woman had come back to him and wanted to stay. He couldn’t believe how much she loved him. His left hand raised to cover her left heart and he whispered huskily, “I’ll love you forever. Even past the last breathe of my last body.” She stilled as he spoke.

Rose repeated his actions as she said, “Forever my Doctor, even when we are nothing but stardust.”  They both gasped in shock as a pattern started to form between their hearts. Each other’s name in Gallifreyan with the others’ name encircling it.

“Bond mates. I didn’t know it was possible with Time Lords.” His awe came through his voice and their link.

“Well, you can’t know everything.” She gave him that damnable grin that drove him crazy with need and he flipped their positions easily. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. He once again entered her and took over their play.

The Doctors hearts sang as her nails raked down his back. Never in his lives had he felt like this. She wasn’t someone that he had to be with to fix a time loop that he barely knew. This woman was a woman he cared for, had protected, and even given up because he had thought she deserved better. She was a woman who had fought for him and refused to believe in the impossible. And gods, the union of their bodies gave him more pleasure than he thought possible. He buried his head in her neck and growled in her ear.

Smiling, she wrapped her arms and legs around him as he sped up their pace. A thousand flickering flames danced in her blood as she arched her back to bring him in deeper to assuage the burning ache inside her. She clenched her teeth, needing release, could feel it almost there.

Hi thumb pressed against her clit and they both flew over the cliff as their colors turned red, then purple and black before a blinding white surrounded them and they fell.

He caught himself before collapsing on her and turned them, not allowing himself to leave her body. She pillowed her head on his chest and kissed him above his hearts. His hands sifted through her hair gently while the colors in the room slowly faded and their hearts slowed. They fell into a deep sleep safe in each other’s arms.

 

 

The Doctor woke, feeling refreshed for once. Automatically, he turned to pull Rose back against him but only found empty space. Opening his eyes, he looked around the room and realized she wasn’t there. Confused but sure she had most likely gone to the galley for something to drink, he stretched and got out of the bed. He strolled to the en suite and started to take a shower. He mentally called to the Tardis to ask her where Rose was and received a puzzled hum back. He asked again and the ship sent back the same puzzlement. That was strange. He hurried his shower, got dressed and went to the console room.

He stopped to check in the galley and didn’t find Rose. Entering the console room, he asked the ship tp show all sentient lifeforms on the ship and was surprised to find that there was no one but him. When he asked where Rose was, the ship brought up the feed from when he had left her on Bad Wolf Bay.

He rushed back to his room, tore open his shirt to look in the mirror. No seal, no bond mate mark, nothing. He fell to the floor, his head in his hands as tears started falling. He couldn’t do this again. If he lost her again, he was going to lose it this time. He lay on the floor of his room and cried until he couldn’t any longer. It had all been a dream, a beautiful, heart breaking, lives ending dream.

A voice he had never thought to hear again brought his head up hours later. The Meta Crisis was staring down at him. “Hello.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. :)


	10. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Meta Crisis Doctor has returned. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has taken on a life of it's own and so instead of the road I wanted it to follow, I shall be following it. Let's all be surprised about how it turns out. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not and have not and will not ever own any part of Doctor Who. All entities described herein belong to BBC.

The human Doctor rested on his haunches while watching the older version of himself.

“Did you enjoy your dream? I thought it was fitting to let you see what you could have had. She was so in love with you. So much so that she wanted to believe that I was you. She tried to love me you know.” He giggled at the pain that crossed the Doctors face. “Does that hurt you? Which one? That she loved you enough to want me to be you? Or that she really tried?”

He bounced up and circled the Doctor as he stood. He tilted his head to the side and asked contemplatively, “Do you remember the stories from our childhood? Do you not remember the Wolf who would save the last of us? The goddess who would take mortal form? We always did scoff at that story didn’t we? But think, who is it that you believe in? What is the one being you place all your faith in?”

He giggled again at the look of disbelief that passed over the Doctors face. “She was so beautiful, do you remember?” He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the Doctor behind his back without a fight. “Remember when we sent her home and she returned all golden and dying? She killed them all just to save us. And we never realized even then just who she was.” He pushed the Doctor forward out of the room and down the corridor.

“Idiots we are. I realized after leaving you. We are the cleverest, most clever, more clever? Anyways, we are geniuses and yet we never connected those dots. Ahh but old Big Ears knew. He worshipped her the correct way. Held himself in check until the end, then he just had to go and kiss her and remove the vortex from her didn’t he.” He shook his head as he rambled. They had entered the console room and he shackled the Doctor to a handrail before continuing his thoughts. “You know, he was her hero. She was so in love with him but never thought she was worthy of him. I found that out while invading her mind while she slept. I learned so much while she slept and it made me so angry. Perhaps that’s why I finally lost it.”

The Doctor pulled at his restraints. He really didn’t care what happened at this point. Rose had never returned to him and that thought had broken him. He merely didn’t like his movements restrained. There was a nudging at his mental barriers but he refused to look and see who it was. The Tardis wouldn’t do that so he was sure it was the man in front of him. He sensed the Tardis becoming upset and she seemed to be talking to someone but he knew she only talked to him.

“What are you doing here? How’d you return to this universe?” He needed to know, maybe he could return there and find her.

“Oh that. Welll, you know she was quite remarkable. Remember the part of your dream where you dreamed of all I did to her?” The Time Lord blanched, starting to feel nauseous. “Yep, you remember. See I really did do all that. It was glorious, the high I got from hurting her. Is that why you did it? The feeling of floating through the clouds?”

“I never hurt her!!” He denied vehemently. “I would never do what you did to her.”

Laughter rang out through the room. “You wouldn’t? What do you call it then? She spent so long trying to get back to you and what did you do? You dropped her back off in the wrong universe, one that was trying to get rid of her by the way. Rose Tyler cannot exist in any universe but this one. And on top of that, you gave her the defective version of you. The one you thought was a bad seed. Oh yes, that didn’t hurt her at all.” He leaned against the console, watching the Doctor and grinned. This version of himself pulled off the angry look quite well. Especially with those eyebrows pulled down so low. He was enjoying himself so much torturing this version.

“Oh right, you wanted to know how I got back here didn’t you? It was remarkable how it happened, really. I was having such fun with her the last time. I remember, as she took her last breath,” he trailed off at the gasp that left the Time Lords mouth. He looked to be in pain. “Does that hurt you? Why?”

The Time Lord looked at him as if he’d dribbled down the front of his shirt. “You don’t know? Did you not care for her at all?”

The look of surprise on the Meta’s face took him back. “Of course I cared for her. I worshipped the ground she walked on. Everything I did to her was so she would return to me. Our golden goddess, I was so sure she would show if I put her mortal vessel in danger. But she didn’t. Not until it took its last breath. Then a golden glow erupted from her and I grabbed ahold of that.  I breathed it in and I was transported back here, still covered in that body’s blood. I know now that the Wolf loves me. She brought me back to the correct universe so I could finish you as well.”

“What are you talking about? You love the goddess that Rose became but not Rose?” The Time Lord couldn’t understand what this man was saying. How could he love what had almost killed her?

The other snorted, “Why would I love a human body when it is the goddess herself who demands our obedience? The human does not matter to me. I did try to not kill her body in the beginning but no matter what I did, the goddess didn’t come. I cut her open and sent her to her deity. I killed her family first so that she wasn’t scared and lonely. Isn’t that enough? Doesn’t that show that I wanted her to be okay?” He sounded confused that the Time Lord didn’t grasp why he had done it.

The human Doctor watched, filled with mirth, as the Time Lord fought against his bonds so much that blood started pouring down his hands. He tsked and pulled a patch out of his pocket and slapped it on the Doctors neck. Once the Time Lord was out cold, he unlocked the cuffs, lifted him firefighter style and spoke to the Tardis.

“If you want him alive you better bring the Med lab as close as possible.”

*****************************************************************

The Tardis had been throwing wave after wave of anger at him but he had subdued her just as easily as he had the Doctor. She wasn’t able to send anything harmful towards him or she would’ve done so all those hours ago. She knew something had happened but her memory banks had been tempered with and now she was trying to restore them. The last thing she remembered was when her Thief had hoped that the Master hadn’t been lying to him about their home planet. He had been so very upset when he realized it had all been another lie.

Then the Other had shown up and she had felt wrong somehow. What had he done to her? Her Thief started asking about her Wolf and grief had flown through him and her. She thought they had finally stopped grieving. But the Other said he had killed her and that upset the Tardis very much. He was a fool if he thought he could kill her Wolf that easily. She was out there somewhere and the ship was not going to rest until she was found. Their Thief needed her help and she would provide it.

She watched as the Other fixed the Doctors wrists and stopped the bleeding. He then pulled out a needle filled with a green liquid. She did not have time to analyze it before it was pressed into her Thief’s arm and his body started shuddering. Oh no, her Wolf was going to be so very angry when she learned of this. The Other thought the Wolf protected him and loved him but she knew better. The Wolf only protected her pack and he was not part of it. There had been no claiming with him. The Tardis started projecting images out across space to wherever the Wolf could be and waited for a signal back. She would be patient.

 

The Doctors head spun as he woke. The room he was in was completely white and he groaned. He had really been hoping that it was all another nightmare. He closed his eyes in order to fight against the pain his brain was screaming with. His arms were splayed away from his body on either side and trying to move them sent even more pain through him. He catalogued all his injuries and was surprised that many of the cuts on him were more superficial than anything. One of his hearts was beating normally but the other was just barely functioning.

The probing at his mental barriers was back and this time it seemed angry. When he pushed it away, a flash of gold and a growl surrounded him for a nanosecond, then it was gone. He shook his head. He must be hallucinating from the pain.

He couldn’t hear the Tardis and that more than anything bothered him. They were connected and if his counterpart had managed to separate them, then he could do whatever he wanted with her. The human him had definitely lost his mind. He was trying to find Bad Wolf so that he could worship her yet had killed Rose in his quest. Rose and Jackie and Tony and Pete.

He let out a sigh as he thought of what he had allowed to happen by sending Rose back to Pete’s World. Why hadn’t she told him that world was trying to kill her? Hell, he couldn’t even blame it on her. He knew he hadn’t given her much time back then to explain. He’d just sent her off trying to be so fucking happy that she could spend the rest of her life with him, well another him. Oh he’d grieved for her something fierce and then he had started putting his life back together.

There’d been times he swore he saw her and he would rush towards that person just to have them turn and it not be her. Once again his hearts would stutter and he would spend days, sometimes weeks within the Vortex feeling sorry for himself. He’d gone back all those years ago right before that bodies death to look on her once more. He’d made himself believe that would be the last time he thought of her.

He’d been wrong. Throughout his next body, he’d been plagued by her as well. Every decision he made would first be up for debate with her in his mind. Would she agree? Would she do it differently? And if so, what must he do to make sure what she would’ve done was what he did? She’d even told him to love River and to give her a happy life. She’d disappeared from his mind after that for a while, only returning once River was gone as well.

Once he’d regenerated into this body though she hadn’t returned. Once again he grieved but differently this time. He was angry all the time and struck out at anyone who tried to get close to him. He’d even made Clara choose to either kill the moon or take the chance of everyone on Earth dying. He regretted that decision but had wanted her to understand how hard life around him was. Now she knew though and he was happy for her to know.

It wasn’t a question of whether he was or wasn’t a hero. For Rose, he had been willing to be whatever she needed, to a certain point. Now he didn’t care what others thought of him, not really. He was a mad man in a box and he had no problem with that. The question now, was how he was going to defeat a madder man in his box than he was. Cause there was no question about it, the other him was most definitely a psychopath and would undoubtedly cause untold harm upon the universe if let loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying the story, comments and so forth are appreciated if you wish to leave them.


	11. The Arctic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose returns to the original universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. Had a few busy days and this one was fighting me. I really hope it turned out okay. I changed it so often it's crazy :)
> 
> Oh yes, I forgot, I have started 3 extra stories that follow what the Doctor/Rose/ and The Psychopath were thinking/going through/ feeling during the years apart. They do not have to be read before Second Chances. Just some insights into a few things.
> 
> As usual, all characters belong to BBC.

 

             The blond girl woke, confused and cold. She was laying in a field of snow. In the distance she could hear the roar of wild animals. The blinding white of the snow stretched as far as she could see. There was a screaming in her head demanding attention but it hurt and she slapped it away.

             She didn’t remember her name or where she was or even how she’d gotten there. Looking down at herself, she saw she was wearing a thin night shirt that came down right above her knees. It’s original color seemed to have been a shade of blue. It had darkened though to black and she caught the smell of blood surrounding her. There were cuts in the gown that ranged from her chest area down to her waist. Some were inches long while others looked like a knife had just plunged in and out. Interesting.

             Lifting the gown showed no wounds and so her confusion ratcheted. She counted the number of holes in the cloth. Nineteen. There was something important about that number. She just couldn’t remember what.

             She couldn’t remember a lot of things. Like why her head hurt so damn much. What was the reason for that? She knew someone she cared for was in danger but not who they were or from what that danger was.

             She did know she was bone tired though. It wasn’t that cold anymore and she saw no reason why she shouldn’t lay down right where she was and sleep for a little while. So she did.

 

             She never noticed the tall, dark haired, blue eyed man wearing an old World War two trench coat running towards her. She didn’t hear him yelling her name or feel him picking her up. She didn’t see the tears running down his face as he pressed something on his wrist and she didn’t see the flash that announced someone had just teleported away.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

 

             Jack popped into Torchwood carrying his burden and yelling for help. He was shaking and hadn’t actually checked her over for injuries but he could smell the blood and knew without a doubt that it was hers. He moved as fast as he could with her towards the medical wing they had hoping he could save his best friend. How’d she gotten out there? There had been a surge of energy in that area and their sensors had picked it up but never had he thought that SHE would be the one sending out that energy.

             Gwen and Ianto rushed to meet him as he entered the room. They helped him lay her on the bed there and Jack started the scanner to see what could be wrong.

             “There’s blood everywhere,” he said shakily, “and she’s so cold. I need to find out what’s wrong.”

             Gwen started cutting the bloodied night shirt off and stared at the blonds’ uninjured body.

             “Can’t be her blood Jack. Someone else’s maybe?”

             “No it’s hers. Look at the knife cuts on the clothes.” He covered her as the scanner came back with nothing being wrong. There were some readings that he didn’t understand but he knew who would. That person never answered the phone though.

             “Who is she Jack?” Ianto asked quietly. He could tell this girl meant something to his lover but wasn’t sure exactly what.

             “It’s Rose.” Jack whispered. Ianto studied the girl and looked back at him.

             “Not possible Jack. You said she was elsewhere. Plus she looks really young. Maybe 22 or 23, at the most.” Ianto shook his head, there was no way this could be his friend from years ago.

             Jack sighed, “Oh, it’s her.” The scanners were still saying that everything was fine with her. He busied himself about, cutting a piece of the cloth she had been wearing to test and then took some blood from Rose as well, just to see if it matched. He wasn’t going to try to find out anything else about her right now although he had plenty of questions. His natural curiosity was killing him. He didn’t notice the puff of gold that she exhaled although Gwen did.

             “Jack,” Gwen gasped, “What was that?” She was pointing towards Rose’s face when he looked up and he saw nothing.

             “Don’t know, didn’t see anything. What’d you see?” Jack studied Rose for a moment before lifting his eyes to Gwen.

             “I don’t know. Gold smoke maybe? From her mouth?” His eyes grew round as he thought for a moment. Gold smoke? Like the Doctor? He opened her eyes to look at her pupils and gasped as he jumped back. Golden glowing eyes. The Doctor had told him about this. About the time she’d taken the Time Vortex into herself. Perhaps that’s why she was still alive? God, he was confused but answers would have to wait.

             “Okay, we need to let her rest while I try to reach the Doctor. He’ll know what to do.” At least Jack hoped so.

 

            Jack was in his office three days later when an alarm started going off. It was the machines attached to Rose and so he ran down to where she was. He stopped at the doorway and watched as she looked around. She had removed the IV and looked a bit pissed. When she noticed him standing there, confusion crossed her face.

            “Jack?” He smiled and crossed to give her a hug bear hug, swinging her off the bed and around in the air a couple times. “Oh Jack, I’ve missed you so much.” Tears ran down her face as they hugged for what seemed to be quite a while but was only a couple minutes.

            “Rosie. How’d you get back here?” He asked the first question that came to mind.

            “Honestly, I don’t know. I remember waking up to a lot of pain and John standing over me with a knife. He was talking but I don’t remember what about. I thought he’d killed after stabbing me so many times.” She smiled sadly while Jack looked at her in horror.

            “Who the hell is John?” He almost roared.

            “The human Doctor, he chose to go by John in that world.” At the growing look of anger on Jacks face, she patted his cheek, hugged him again and looked around. “Where are we?”

            “At Torchwood 3. I’m director here. Skeleton crew since I found you though. Don’t want anyone knowing you’re here right now til we know what’s going on. He stabbed you? The Doctor? Are you sure?” Maybe she was confused, he knew the Doctor, and the one person he would never harm was Rose.

            “Yes, Jack. He killed my entire family over there. He went crazy. He’s a damn psychopath.” Rose could see Jack trying to understand how the Doctor could have turned out like that and realized it was probably the same look she’d had on her face at first when she’d finally figured it out as well.

            “B-but it’s the Doctor!!”

            “Yes but no Jack, he is but he isn’t even close to being the same man. Something is extremely wrong with him. He looks just like that Doctor did but he doesn’t act like him. More like the really evil twin brother.” Her eyes were sad but her voice resigned to that fact. She sounded as if she’d given up.

            “Wait, what do you mean looks just like that Doctor did? Have you seen the real Doctor? Has he changed?” Jack was confused but thought it made sense since he’d not seen him since that time back then. But he didn’t think Rose would’ve seen him since she’d been deposited back over there.

            “Yes, he’s regenerated twice since I left Jack. No, I haven’t exactly seen him but I know. We used to talk while I dreamed. I’m still not sure how or even if he knows it but I watched him change. I don’t know what the new one looks like though. I stopped dreaming of him last year so about three or four months ago here if I have the time difference correct.”

            “Time difference? What do you mean?” He asked confused.

            “Well I’ve spent 10 years over there, how long has it been since then here?” She replied quietly while he tried to wrap his head around her words. “That’s why we were able to warn the Doctor about the stars going out.”

            “Ten years Rosie? And before you returned? How many years then?” Jack wasn’t able to reconcile the young twenty something looking Rose to how many years she was saying.

            “Five or six, something like that. I’m almost forty years old Jack.” She almost smiled at his astounded look.

            “Well, either they have an amazing skin care regimen over there or something else is going on.” Jack was betting on it being something else.

            Rose lips quirked at his humor yet still didn’t smile. She hadn’t smiled or felt happy about anything since the day she’d been forced to watch her family being slashed to pieces in front of her. Her heart had broken completely that day. It was nice to see Jack again, she wondered if any of her old friends kept in touch still. She knew the Doctor didn’t keep in touch with anyone but maybe the others did.

            “Jack, how is everyone? Have you talked to any of them?” The wistfulness in her voice caught his attention.

            He hadn’t been sure if he should call them or not. “Well I wanted to call Mickey and Martha after we brought you in and you go settled but wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it. We keep an eye on Donna, but she doesn’t remember any..” He trailed off when she started nodding her head after his mention of Donna.

            “I know what had to be done with Donna. I may have a solution to that. She didn’t need to do what he did but he’d been pretty upset already and then hit with that, his giant Time Lord brain didn’t think it though. Bloody idiot.”

            Jack grinned at her words, “That would be great Rose. Want me to call Mickey and Martha? I’m sure they would love to see you.”

            She thought about it a moment then agreed, “Sure but only if they actually want to. Don’t want anyone to put themselves out for me. Gonna get changed while you make those calls.”

            Jack almost skipped out the door happy he could do something for her. Maybe it would make her smile. He had to admit that her eyes bothered him. Oh they were back to that hazel quality he’d always loved but they reminded him too much of the Doctors eyes now. Their first Doctors eyes that would be so full of pain. He had never thought that their Rose would ever forget how to smile much less have eyes that showed no joy.

            In his office, Jack tried to call the Doctor again with no luck and just shook his head. That alien really needed to answer his damn phone. He then called their friends and told them about Rose returning. He didn’t tell them more than that though. If Rose wanted them to know, she would do it.

            Thinking about what they could do until everyone met up, he smiled. Rose had always enjoyed a good shopping trip and there were a few nice boutiques close to the area. He grabbed his coat and wallet, then went down to get ahold of his girl and take her out shopping. After all, while Gwen looked nice in her clothes, they weren’t exactly the type Rose had ever worn.

            Rose had balked at the trip at first, surprising Jack, but had finally gotten into it a bit. She still didn’t smile but she did seem to be loosening up a bit. Maybe he would get it to happen. Not long ago, he’d done the same with a certain Time Lord but he hadn’t been successful with him at all. He was surprised at Rose’s choices though. Mostly dark jeans and silk tops, all button up long sleeves, a hooded knee length black leather jacket, and a couple pairs of black boots, no heels. No jewelry, perfumes, or makeup. His Rose had grown up and it saddened him.

            When he asked about her choices she simply replied that most fabrics bothered her skin and the same with makeup and perfumes anymore. She figured it was an allergy she’d developed in Pete’s World.

            “What about some jewelry? No earrings or anything anymore?” He questioned, remembering the hoop earrings she’d always sported back in the day.

            “That would give an enemy an advantage though. I was stupid back then wearing props that would allow others to know something about me. Now, I know better.” She shrugged at her words as she tilted her head and watched him again.

            Jack decided he definitely did not like it when she did that. It seemed as if she was trying ti figure him out and the Rose he knew had known him. She’d been one of the few who had understood so he asked her.

            “Why do you keep tilting your head and studying me like a bug under a microscope Rose? You, who know me better than almost anyone shouldn’t be looking at me like I’m a puzzle.” Her startled face showed she hadn’t realized she was doing it.

            “Sorry Jack. It’s just once in a while I get this heavy feeling in my head when I look at you and I’m trying to figure out why. It’s a strange feeling and I don’t understand why.” She drew her brows together in confusion. “It never happened before though. Strange. I’ll try not to do that again Jack.” She reached over and hugged him gently then backed away quickly, a look of alarm on her face.      

            “Okay, until I figure it out, I can’t do that again.” She rubbed her temple before continuing down the sidewalk.

            “Why?” At the shake of her head, he decided to drop it for the moment. “We have a little while before we need to meet the others for dinner. Wanna get a shower and change into something new?” She nodded quietly as they headed back toward Torchwood. She needed some time alone to think about what was going on. She had to admit though that spending the time with Jack had lifted her spirits a bit but she was relieved when he left her alone until it was time to meet the others.

            They had all decided to go to a local pub that never was too crowded so everyone could catch up with each other and enjoy themselves without having to worry about anyone trying to listen in on them.

            After a few drinks, Mickey and Martha had relaxed and were asking questions about all she’d gone through. Martha decided she wanted to do a workup on her since Jack wasn’t exactly a doctor. Rose was wondering why the drinks weren’t having the usual effect when a song came on that made her smile so sadly that the other three just caught their breath.

            “It’s funny how many songs are exactly the same across the universes. E.T. is one that is. Although it’s sung by some guy.” She closed her eyes as she leaned back against the booth and listened. It was one of her favorite songs even though every time she heard it, her heart would break. The first few times she’d heard it, she hadn’t been able to control herself and had broken down.

                        “You remind me of him back then right after you were trapped over there.” Martha spoke up. “He was so broken. You know, I hated you at first. I had such a crush on him and all I ever heard was Rose would know, or Rose did this, and so on. It took me a while to understand that he wasn’t looking for a replacement, just for a friend.” She reached across the table and squeezed Roses’ hand. “You’ll find him Rose and you’ll see then how much he’s missed you.”

            “No Martha, I don’t think I will. He’s changed since then and he’s moved on. I know that for a fact. Even told him to.” That half smile that refused to show any happiness at all had returned again.

            “Rose, unlike you, we all have seen how he acted with and without you and then how he was with others. Don’t doubt him just because of a piece of him that turned out to be crazier than I don’t know what.” Mickey told her, waving for another round.

            After the new drinks arrived, they visited a bit more and then decided it was time for the married couple to get home. Martha promised to visit the office the next day to talk to Rose some more while they all hugged. Watching them walk away, Rose realized she was happy for her friends. They had both been through quite a lot and deserved some happiness.

            Jack elbowed her with a grin. “Bet they didn’t have good chips over there.”

            “They didn’t have chips at all Jack. Missed those, how can a universe be considered a good place if they don’t have potatoes. Made no sense to me.” She bumped his shoulder, “Gonna take me out to a chippy?”

            “Was thinking about it.” Ge grinned that Jack Harkness megawatt smile and she shook her head while taking his arm.

            “Lead on then.” A moment later though, she couldn’t even think. She was bent double holding her head, trying not to scream. The Doctor was hurt and angry. He was extremely angry if the boiling rage in her head was any type of warning. She opened her eyes and turned around looking for him, the feeling so strong, she was sure he was close by. But there was no one around. Something was wrong. She tried to connect with him but was smacked away. She growled angrily. Stupid fucking Time Lord, not letting her in to see what was wrong.

            Jack watched all of this while trying to hold her up. He didn’t know what was going on but the absolute fury in her eyes almost made him step back. Then he laughed out loud at her next words.

            “Bloody git, never letting anyone help.”

            He almost skipped to the chippy and ordered some chips to go, all the while singing, “Somebody’s in trouble when she finds him.” His antics brought a small grin to her face and he stopped. “You smiled Rose. Thank god, I thought you’d forgotten how.”

            “Easy to forget how when there’s nothing to smile for Jack.” And they were back to melancholy. Damn.


	12. Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone Rose and Jack never expected to ever see again arrives to give a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was in my head all day today so had to type it up and post it. I'm not too familiar with the Torchwood crews personalities so decided not to continue with them. Realized that tonight so will be watching it to make sure I have them down in case I need them again.
> 
> I have started 3 extra stories that follow what the Doctor/Rose/ and The Psychopath were thinking/going through/ feeling during the years apart. They do not have to be read before Second Chances. Just some insights into a few things.
> 
> As usual, all characters belong to BBC.

             Rose woke, her heart pounding and her breath coming hard. Someone was calling for her, needing her. She looked around the strange room, wondering where she was until she remembered the day before. She was back in her home universe. The one with the true Doctor, not his twin who’d lost his damn mind. She still wondered after all these years if she could’ve done something different. Blowing out a breath, she stopped those thoughts. She couldn’t change events so why look back at them. It only caused more hurt.

            Jack had brought her to his flat, just a block or so away from the office, and they’d talked until both were tired. Someone was calling for her again. Whoever it was sounded really close. A pounding came on the bedroom door and she opened it.

            “Rose! You gotta come out here.” Jack looked like he’d seen a ghost and pulled her toward the kitchen area. She stopped, shock pouring through her. Her eyes widened as she looked at why Jack had looked like that.

            Their Doctor stood in the middle of the room, calling her name quietly. His shorn hair and blue eyes and battered old leather jacket a sight for sore eyes.

            “Doctor?” His head turned toward her slowly and he smiled that beautiful smile that crinkled his eyes and always had taken her breath away.

            “Rose. I should’ve known you’d be with one of your pretty boys. Hello Jack.” He looked them both over with that smile. “I’ve missed you both very much.”

            “Doc, how?” Jack asked quietly.

            “Oh, well I’m only here for a moment in time.” He walked over to Rose, cupped her cheek in his hand and closed his eyes. “You’ve changed Rose. I need to check out why. Can’t right now though but he will.” He opened them and grinned before winking and turning his head.

            “Jack, turn away. Please.”

             “Not doing it Doc.” Jack grinned and dutifully stared right back at him with a grin of his own and crossed his arms, the dare evident in the quirk of his lips.

             The Doctor shrugged and turned back to Rose. He leaned toward her ear and whispered gruffly, “Missed you.” His lips ghosted over her ear down to her jaw and she breathed in his scent. His hands wrapped around her waist and pulled him flush against himself. Then his mouth was on hers and her arms were around his neck. Blue eyes stared into hazel before both slid closed.

             Tongues touched each other gently before sliding against each other, They explored each other, tongues moving over teeth and the roofs of mouths until Rose had to pull back in order to breathe. He had backed her against the wall and was pressing himself into her. One hand against her face, a thumb brushing her lips as he stared down into her eyes. He smelled of Time and leather and engine grease. That scent that was so him that she smiled.

            “Rose.” Just that simple word relayed his thoughts as he took her lips again. Jack grinned and backed away. As much as he had always needled these two about joining them, he’d always known that he wouldn’t ever get in between them if they had decided to go all the way.

             The Doctor was savoring this moment, he knew he had to go back to his time soon but this he needed. His mind desperately sought hers as they kissed. He pulled back and leaned his forehead to hers. _I’ve never said it to you Rose._ He watched her eyes widen slightly. _And I don’t know if this new version of me will have the guts to but I want you to know._

             She smiled at him as he stalled. He was always the same, even when different. He laughed in her mind. And kissed her again. He picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist, still pressed against the wall. She could feel him against her and her legs contracted around him to pull her further in. He groaned. The kiss becoming harder, needier. He ground himself against her and she gasped.

             “Gods, we shouldn’t but I need you so badly Rose.” That Northern burr of his growling low in her ear spurred her own. She disengaged herself from around him, grabbed his hand, and whispered in his ear.

             “Run.” His manic grin answered her as she pulled him to the room Jack had given her. She knew Jack wouldn’t mind, probably would have something in there in record them with even.

             Jack watched them from the hallway and grinned, at least they would have this chance. He left a note, in case they were done before he returned, and left the flat for a little while. Let them have this moment, he thought, the serious stuff would come soon.

             Rose pulled her Doctor into the bedroom as his mouth descended on hers again and he kicked the door shut. Gods, he’d never get enough of her.

             She pulled back as she studied him, “Where are you right now?” She pushed his jacket off his shoulders and it hit the floor with a heavy thump.

             “In Kyoto. Why?” Her eyes took on that sad look again and she shook her head. Her fingers found the hem of his jumper and started to pull it up.

             “When you make yourself forget, don’t forget that I love you.” His eyes roved her face for clues on why she looked sad but then his jumper was off and she was snogging him again. He helped her out of her clothes as their lips parted then returned, hands roaming, wanting to sear each other in their memories.

             Once Rose was free of her clothing, she stepped back with a filthy grin. “Mmm if this is the one time I have with this body, I’m fulfilling one of my fantasies.”

             He lifted an eyebrow at her words. “You had fantasies about this body?” His hand pointed at himself and swept down.

             She licked her lips and nodded. “Oh yes, especially when watching you run around the console in those tight jeans.” He grinned at her, realizing what many of her thoughts had been when he’d caught her watching him from the jumpseat.

             She knelt down in front of him, her hands unsnapping his jeans. She lightly bit at the bulge there before lowering the zipper. He moaned, his blue eyes darkening even further. Hooking her thumbs in his jeans, she pulled them down slowly, letting him spring free of the tight cloth. No pants, she should’ve known with this Doctor.

             “Naughty Doctor.” She licked the tip of him quickly as she helped remove the jeans from his legs.

             “Only for you Rose.” His dark voice promised her as his eyes followed every movement. She ran her hands up his legs to his hips and licked her lips as her eyes met his.

             One hand stroked him as the other reached underneath to cup his sac. Then her mouth was on him and he found he forgot how to breathe. He watched as her mouth met her hand at his base and shivered. He was sliding in and out of Rose Tylers’ mouth. Something he’d only dreamed of doing and she was making it real. He felt it as she changed angles and he slid against the roof of her mouth while her tongue did wicked little designs over him. The woman was a goddess. His head fell back against the door as she continued her onslaught.

             He touched her temple so she could feel the pleasure she was giving him. _So good Rose._ Too soon he had to pull back or he was going to finish before he got to taste her.

            She looked up at him and grinned before bringing her mouth back to him. _Let me taste you Doctor._ Oh Damn. She twirled that tongue around his tip before taking him in all the way. Her hand worked in tandem with her mouth, sucking and releasing, hollowing her cheeks and too fast he was gone. His breath gasping out of him as his spine stiffened and cool jets of him spurted down her throat. _Fuck me Rose._

            “I plan on it.” She grinned at his groan as she stood licking him off her lips. Time and spice. He reached out and pulled her mouth to him. Tasting himself mixed with her, he moaned again. They tasted so good together. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. Then his mouth and hands were everywhere.

            He placed quick biting kisses to her jawline, traveling down her neck to where his hands were pinching and squeezing her breasts. _So beautiful._ He laved at one nipple while one hand played with the other. His eyes caught hers as he gently bit and pulled on it. The moan he received thrilled him. He wanted to hear all the different little breathy sounds she would make. Her eyes darkened even more as he did the same to the other before following her scent down her body.

            His tongue dipped into her belly button as he kissed it, making her squirm and gasp. He was going to make sure Rose Tyler never forgot this body of his even if he had to forget this time with her. Her breath hitched as he moved lower to the area he was aiming for. _My turn, my Rose._ He breathed in her scent as his finger touched her reverently. His tongue flicked experimentally against her clit making her jump slightly. A wolfish grin gathered on his lips as he glanced up her body at her.

            He settled in and pushed two long fingers deep into her, curling them at the end, the flicked them inside. Removing them he licked the moisture off them and moaned lightly. Pure Rose. His hands moved under her and held her to him. He lapped at her shallowly before nipping at them clit. She groaned and another wave of arousal assailed her. Her hands raking through his barely there hair was sending shivers down his spine.

            He pressed his tongue deep in her over and over while one set of fingers worked her gently. He could feel her walls clenching and knew she was ready as a finger from his free hand entered her beneath his tongue and he pressed down harder on her. She screamed his name as she came and he wiped his face dry before crawling back up her body. He positioned himself at her entrance as she was coming down and entered her quickly.

            “C’mere.” He pulled her up on him as he rested on his folded legs. They were chest to chest and face to face when he started moving her on him. Hers clenched around him as her nails dug into his neck. “Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to take you against the console, or one of the coral struts, or on the jump seat?” Her eyes widened and she shook her head. He grinned and kissed her again, his tongue mimicking their movements lower.

            They were both shuddering, reaching for the moment they would fly together as he stopped, held himself at her entrance and spoke.

             “Rose, open your eyes baby.” His northern burr demanded hoarsely. She opened her eyes are stared into his almost black ones. “I love you Rose.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers in a sweet kiss.

             “I love you too Doctor. More than you can imagine.” With those words he slammed into her causing them both to shatter. They fell to the bed to the bed, the Doctor turning them so she ended on his chest. He ran one hand through hair while the other traced circles on her wrist.

             She lay her head over one heart and her hand over the other. She needed to hear both as they calmed, know she was with this wonderful alien who she had fallen for all those years ago. She wasn’t sure she could ever face her pinstripe Doctor again after what all had happened but this one, yeah, he was special.

             “How long?” She refused to look up as she asked, didn’t want to lose this time together even though she knew he couldn’t stay.

             “Soon. I need to pass a message to you and Jack. The Tardis pulled me from my time to give it to you.” He sighed and his arms contracted around her. He really didn’t want to leave her side but knew that he must.

             “Rose?” There was something that was bothering him and he needed the answer from her even if it did need to be forgotten.

             “Hmm?”

             “You have a half formed bond with me?” He held his breath.

             “Yeah. We were in the beginnings of a bond when I disappeared.” She didn’t want to remember it though, too much had worked to break it, himself included.

             “How did it survive across universes? That shouldn’t have happened.” And how in the hell how his older self let that happen? Why had he sent her away?

             “Honestly? I don’t know.” She angled her head to gaze into those eyes. “I’ve tried to figure it out for years but no luck.”

             “Hmmph.” He didn’t like that idea but his thought process was working and an idea came to him about how she could find her Doctor. “Have you tried to connect with him since you came back?”

             “I felt him last night, he was hurt and angry. Very angry. I reached out but he mentally slapped me. You are a git, by the way.” She told him slapping his chest lightly.

             “Ow! Sensitive, you.” He playfully rubbed at the spot for a moment. “It’s possible he doesn’t realize it’s you if he’s in pain. Most likely he’s just trying to keep anyone out of his head.”

             “So you don’t think he was just telling me to screw off then?” She grinned at him cockily.

             “Rose Tyler, I would never tell you to screw off as you so eloquently put it.” He laughed out loud, “More like I would beg you to screw me.”

             “Oi, you.” She giggled and reached up to kiss him quickly. “Time to get up. We need to talk.”

              Not long after, they were walking into the kitchen as Jack was fixing some tea. They all sat down and the Doctor told them why he was there. He’d gone back to the Tardis for something and while inside the cloister bell had started going off. The Tardis had sent a message out to everywhere Rose could be in the universe through time and space. She was looking for her Wolf and had reached her but there had been a problem with the Wolf and so she needed someone the Wolf trusted to go and relay the message.

             “What is the message Doctor?” Rose asked as both she and Jack paid close attention to him.

             “She refused to tell me. Said I was to find you in this time and she dropped me here.” He shrugged. “Why does she call you her Wolf?”

             Rose looked away from him then. She didn’t want him to know what had happened at the Game Station in case he changed it.

             “I can’t tell you, too close to your future. You’ll try to send me home to save me but I’ll argue and return anyway. You can’t stop it and please don’t try by dropping me off at my mums.” She squeezed the hand in hers as she told him this. “I’m not going to tell you because I refuse to let you stop me.”

             The Doctor looked at her, then the sad look on Jacks face and decided he really didn’t want to know what was going on. He took a deep breath and continued his explanation.

             “My Tardis will pick me up once you’ve contacted her and received the message but it needs to be soon. This entire building is telepathically shielded. I’m guessing that’s your doing Jack?” He cut his eyes to the man in question.

             “Yeah, certain people can’t be around me without hurting so I found a way to fix that. Seems to be working well since both of you don’t have any adverse effect to being around me.” Rose stared at him for a moment, then touched his hand and found that she could without the heavy feeling being present again.

             “Why would your presence cause pain to others Jack? What happened to you?” The Doctor was finding that his two companions had changed a lot over the years and apparently he hadn’t had a choice in saving them from whatever it was. “Don’t tell me I can’t help you either.”

             “Same day Doc. Same problem, there was too much going on. Don’t worry though, the changes help us both become who we are meant to be. Defenders of the Earth and all that.” He winked at the Doctor, causing him to chuckle darkly.

             “I hope that the reason all of this happens is taken care of.” He ran his hand over his face, unhappy about his findings but knowing they were both too stubborn.

             “Oh yes, it was dealt with quite magnificently actually.” Jack grinned at him. “Or at least that’s the story I’m told, didn’t get to see it myself.”

             Rose grinned, she had remembered her time as Bad Wolf while in the other universe. It scared the hell out of her but she understood now what had happened and why the Doctor had changed.

             “Oh I remember, and yes they were dealt with.” She told them with a sad grin. “A lot of things happened that day.”

             “Okay, since you two aren’t going to tell me, I’ll continue on.” He did not like the fact that Jack and Rose still were so close or that they shared stories he wasn’t privy to but as they were in the future, he knew it was bound to be. Still, jealousy wasn’t exactly reasonable and he pulled Rose just that much closer to him, not wanting to be even an inch away.

             “We need to go outside, preferably outside and above. You’re going to need to concentrate in order to find her message Rose. Like I said, I don’t know what she wants to tell you but she was adamant that it only be you.”

             “You said it needed to be soon right?” At his nod, she turned to look at Jack, “The roof here? Is it shielded as well?”

             “The roof? No. Just this flat but it seems to cover a couple of floors higher. Doesn’t reach the roof though.”

             “Could we do it up there?” She questioned, wanting to find out what was going on sooner rather than later.

             “Yeah, don’t see why not.” He shrugged, “Besides I’d like to see the Old Girl again. Been a while.”

             The three smiled, each lost in their own thoughts, all centering around the others at the table. After they finished their tea, the silent threesome made their way to the roof. Rose made herself think of nothing but the Tardis as the guys watched quietly.

             Images of each of the Doctors forms came to mind followed by one she didn’t know. This one must be the new Doctor who had refused contact with her. He was being suspended by glowing blue rings around his wrists in a completely white environment. He looked unconscious and Roses heart almost stopped at the image. _My Wolf, our Thief needs our help. The Other has come and imprisoned him and me. I cannot leave the Vortex. He has done something to me. Our Thief will die if help does not arrive._

_I will come. This Other is the copy?_

_Yes Wolf. He has put something in our Thief that stops his hearts. He does not wake anymore. I cannot feel him._

_Why? I felt him last night. He was very angry._

_Yes, he dreams._

_I’ll be there Girl. I may need some help. Can Jacks’ vortex manipulator get me there?_

_Yes. Tell the Doctor there to fix it. I will send the Flirt the coordinates for here at this time. When you come you will arrive in the room with Thief. He needs his Wolf._

_When did I become his instead of yours?_

_You have been his since you met him, have you not? As he has been yours._

_You are one nosy Time ship, you know that?_

_Yes, Wolf. The Thief says this as well._

_Old Girl, where does the Other spend his time?_

_He is everywhere. He speaks to himself and goes into the room with the Thief to become angry. He thinks you claim him and will protect him._

_I broke my claim on him. I will not protect him. He killed my family. He is not part of us._

_Hurry Wolf, the Thief grows weak._

_I will, be there soon._

             Rose broke off her conversation and turned to Jack. “You have your vortex manipulator?”

             “Downstairs.”

             “Go get it then. The Tardis will be sending you coordinates for us to jump.” She turned toward her first Doctor. “I need you to fix it. You know you’ll break it again after we get you out of there.”

             “Sure.” He wrapped his arms around her as they waited for Jack. Too soon would he need to leave her again and go back to her younger self. He loved that younger self but holding himself back was pretty hard and he enjoyed being able to show her how he felt. He didn’t want to forget about the few hours with her but knew he must, if for no other reason than to keep himself from going spare over not being able to touch her yet. He buried his head in her hair and tightened his arms. She wound her arms around his neck and held him.

             “Doctor, it’s okay. I understand more than you think.” She captured his lips in a sweet barely there kiss as Jack returned to them. They could hear the Tardis starting to land as he held the manipulator out to the Doctor. The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver and whirred it for a moment, then handed it back.

             “All fixed. You two be careful. I don’t know what happened but I know I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Letting go of Rose, he hugged Jack tightly.

             Jack kissed his cheek and grinned. “No more lips for you, you’ve been claimed.”

             “Yes, I have.” They let go of each other and Jack moved to say good bye to the Tardis, stroking a corner and asking her to take care of the Doctor.

             The Doctor and Rose grinned as she preened and hummed appreciatively. Their eyes met and they hugged each other tightly one last time in this timeline. Their kiss was slow, one last exploration of each other before pulling back.

             Rose raised a hand to his face, tracing its contours. “I fell in love with this face and body. It broke my heart when you changed because I didn’t know you would still be you. Even asked you to change back. I love you Doctor.”

             “What? This..” She smacked his shoulder. “Ow.”

             “Don’t. You are gorgeous. A girl would have to be dead not to want this body.” Rose paused for a moment. “And I was definitely not dead.”

             His slow smile lit his blue eyes as he leaned his head down to her lips. “Neither was I.” This lips pressed against hers quickly before releasing her. He sauntered over to the Tardis, opened the door and turned to look at her. “Rose Tyler, you are fantastic.” Then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and/or kudos are always welcome. I would love to know what everyone is thinking. Happy reading :)


	13. The Rescue part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is dreaming about his entire life but focuses on one companion most of all.
> 
> Part 1 of 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been fighting since the last update on how this one was going to play out. It was rough going but I had it going and then this idea came to me a few hours ago and it felt perfect so I started over. I will have the second part of The Rescue up either Friday evening or Saturday Morning. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously do not own anything of Doctor Who unlike the BBC ;)

 

             The Doctor has, in fact, been dreaming ever since the madman shot him up with the green liquid. He dreams of all of his companions, from Susan all the way to Clara. He dreams of their losses and of their triumphs. He dreams of the ones who died and the ones who left angry. He dreams of the ones who he left behind for so many reasons. But there is one he does not dream of. He cannot remember her name. He knows someone is missing but his mind refuses to let him see that person. All the horrors that are his fault, all the deaths that he let happen play through his dreams as he is made to watch them again.

            He blames himself just like he always has. His spirit is blackened by all he has done over the many centuries of his life. He is full of rage and pain and sees no reason why he is still alive. Is it no wonder that the universe hates him? He has destroyed so many lives, caused so much destruction. He deserves nothing but the pain that is ripping through him. He wishes for death to claim him. Why had he been given a new regeneration cycle? Was that to be his reparation? He had to live through all this pain even longer? He wishes for his hearts to just stop. He cannot do this any longer.

            Then a golden and pink human enters his dreams. And she drives him absolutely barmy with how he can never not think about her. He tries to run her off, says things no one should stand for and yet she looks at him gently and takes his hand and says, “There’s me.” A small amount of the darkness in his soul lifts. They travel together and she saves his life and he saves hers and they both watch the other with eyes that say so much but lips that never dare.

            He realizes in Downing Street that he loves her and it scares him so much because he would easily let everyone else die just to keep her alive. He knows if he loses her then the universe itself would suffer so very much and that thought alone scares the hell out of him. His hearts beat a bit faster everytime their eyes meet. His brain stutters whenever she smiles that smile where her tongue touches the corner of her mouth. He hates it when she smiles at the first pretty boy and loves it when she also wants him gone.

            He is an idiot. Not because he chose her and not because she is some stupid ape. He knows she hadn’t planned to try and save her father but he accused her of it. His hearts break as she says that he’s not the most important man in her life anymore. He never believed he was in the first place but it hurts. Oh, does it hurt. Then there’s another pretty boy. This time he doesn’t back away though. This time he shows this Captain Jack that the Blond is claimed.

            He sends her away to keep her safe. He’d already thought she was dead once and couldn’t face it again. The rage, secondary only to the pain, which had torn through him at that moment had paralyzed his mind. Now he knew without a doubt that without her, he would be completely useless. He was not going to take a chance at her dying a second time. So he tricks her and sends her home and dares the Daleks to kill him. It no longer matters anymore. Nothing matters as long as she is safe.

            “I want you safe, my Doctor.” Those words echo through his head as he watches her in awe and dread. He knows she is dying. He saved her just so she could save him and die in the process. He truly does ruin everything he touches. Even this wonderful human in front of him. It is his fault that she is doing this. That she is dying again. His fault. All his. Why couldn’t he have left her so long ago. Why had he returned to ask a second time when he knew he destroyed everything. He knew the answer. It was simple. He was a selfish bastard who wanted someone to look at him in wonder. And she had and did and now he had killed her.

            “I think you need a doctor.” He kisses her, killing himself in order to save her. Her voice echoes in his head three little words and he is glad he is able to hear them before he is gone. He is changing but that’s okay. She’s alive and that really is all that matters to him. She is so beautiful and he tries to explain and joke with her. He needs her to smile. His last words to her should convey how much she means to him.

            “You were fantastic.” I love you.

             “Absolutely fantastic.” I love you so very much.

             “And ya know what? So was I.” I can’t believe you love me too.

             She doesn’t really trust him anymore now that he’s changed and once again his hearts break. He tries to fight out of the coma but it’s so hard and she had asked him to change back and so he decides that he’ll back off again. He won’t tell her. She’s going to let him leave on his own again and he decides not to force her. He’ll hide the pain so she doesn’t know until he leaves and then he’ll mourn.

             She doesn’t leave. Instead she takes his hand, willing to try again. Maybe she trusts him more than he thought. Maybe he can love her. No. He’ll wait again. He had all the time in the world. And so they hold hands and they run. They laugh and they run. They worry and they run. They fall in love again and still they run. He can see something is coming and he runs so far with her until they end up at an impossible planet. He almost tells her then. That night in the little room on the base where he lost the Tardis, he almost tells her. But he is so so scared and so stays his tongue.

             He watches her enter the Tardis and run to him. He picks her up, spins her around and finally, he kisses her. He can’t help it. He has to. Once again he almost lost her. That night they love each other for hours. Sometimes slow and sensual and oh so sweet. Other times rough and fast and needy. They decide to begin the Bonding. It will take time for it to fully bloom but they do begin it. A few weeks pass as they become closer than either ever believed they would and the Bond is stronger but only if they are touching. Then Canary Wharf.

             He finally remembers her name as she is falling and he is screaming and then she’s gone. Pete caught her and brought her across universes. He lays his hand on that cold white wall, presses his ear against it, and feels the bond weaken to where it is barely there any longer. He has finally lost her. The universe had decided. He was not worthy of a second chance. He makes his way back to the Tardis and to the Vortex and falls to his knees.

             “Rose.”

             One word. It is so very dear to him and just the sound of it causes him untold pain. He curls in a ball and prays to all the deities that he has never believed in to just let him die. He is ignored. His ship forces him to leave the console room and so he staggers to their room. He falls on their bed and cries. He falls asleep and wakes and does it again. The pain refuses to leave him and he decides that he’ll just stay there until he can’t possibly live a moment longer.

             He wakes up after grieving for over a month and the pain is still there but he has an idea. He runs to the library and searches and searches. So many different legends of crossing universes and he tries them all. He almost kills himself multiple times. He doesn’t care. He must get to her somehow, someway. There is no other focus in him. All that matters is her. More legends, more near misses, a week in a healing coma, and nothing to show for it.

             Finally, all legends and stories and half-baked ideas are tried. Proven false. All because he had to go and kill his own kind. His fault after all. It always came back to the fact that he had screwed his own self over and he laughs bitterly at the thought. He falls asleep and dreams and the Tardis made plans of her own. When he wakes, the Tardis tells him of her plan and he reluctantly agrees. They send out her name and finally she answers.

             She’s crying and he has to fight to keep from falling to his knees. She tells him again those three little words and he tries but time runs out before he can. He reaches up and feels the tears on his face. She had lied about something, their almost not there Bond had told him she was lying about something but what was it? Surely not the baby. Please not the baby. Please let the baby be Jackie’s because if not he can’t go on. To have gained a family again only to lose it would kill him faster than anything. He decides to believe she wasn’t lying about the baby.

             Then came more companions and running and seeing her everywhere. Every word, every glance, anything and everything reminds him of her. There is so much pain and loneliness and pure rage that he isn’t sure how long it has been. He has tried to die but somehow he continues to survive. The universe truly does hate him.

             One day though Donna looks at him and says the two words guaranteed to make him return to Earth. He didn’t want to go back but now he must.

             “Bad Wolf.”

             Everywhere he looks now he sees the words and he knows that somehow she is coming home. Somehow she is returning to him and everything is better and there is hope again and what pain or rage. What was that? Hope and love and beauty are amazing things and he must find her because she is coming home and he can’t believe it but he must because if not, it will all burn.

             She’s there. Standing just a ways away. He’s running as fast as he’s ever run in his life but this time he’s running to her. This time he’s running and this time he is stopped and he’s dying. But she’s there and “Oh Rose Tyler I’ve missed you.”  The Daleks again. Always the Daleks, they never stay dead. They are always around during the worst days of his lives. And this day will be another. He knows it as he watches his former companions all decide to use such horrible weapons in order to keep these monsters away. They will destroy the Earth if they must and his hearts break but only a small bit because he knows they are trying to save their world.

             They are back on that horrible beach again. This time though, he is leaving her with a piece of him. A part of him that will be able to grow old with her and give her that happily ever after that she deserves. He watches as the other one easily tells her what she needs to hear and as they kiss, the pain hits him again and he turns to leave. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said the needing her was very much him. He did need her, more than she could ever imagine. He leaves. He refuses to feel the pain at the moment and erases Donnas memory to let her live. He doesn’t take on any more people. He can’t. It hurts too much. So he mourns. And he runs. And he sacrifices. And he sees her one last time. The last face before this body dies as well. He doesn’t want to go. He wants to stay in this body forever so he can mourn her properly but as he changes he wishes that this new body will forget her.

             He sees new dreams now. Dreams of Rose being cut and shot and beat within an inch of her life. Dreams of years of bloody accidents that she doesn’t remember. Dreams of her being afraid, not understanding why she keeps forgetting how she is getting her. Dreams of her watching him kill her family. Of him revealing to her that he is the one responsible for all the bad that she can’t remember. Dreams of him taunting her, telling her that he never loved her. In fact hated her and had given her to him so that he could kill her. Rage boils inside him as he dreams. Such cold rage that he knows if he ever wakes up he will destroy all around him that has hurt her. Even if that is himself. 

Then he dreams of her death. And he breaks. His body stops and his hearts begin to fail. He is going to die but that’s okay. He had murdered his beautiful, sweet, compassionate Rose as much as if he had been there and stabbed her himself. It had been him. A part of him, therefore he had done this. One of his hearts stop completely. The other is barely hanging on. He wakes with a gasp, a last dying gasp and stares into furious glowing golden hazel eyes. A needle is being plunged into his stopped heart and it starts again.

             “You will not die on me after all I’ve been through, Time Lord.”

             He passes out, missing the fact that he is free and she is rushing out of the room in full Bad Wolf glory.


	14. The Rescue part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Jack come to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long it's taken to get this up. Had some issues going on so wasn't able to work on the story or anything else really. I hope you like how the chapter goes, working on the next one now. Only a couple chapters left. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously do not own anything of Doctor Who unlike the BBC ;)

Rose was waiting for Jack to get all the items he had decided they may need with them when they transported themselves to the Tardis. She was pacing back and forth in front of the hub, refusing to go inside in case the Tardis contacted her again before Jack was ready. She was worried about the condition they would find the Doctor in and Jack had agreed while saying that he needed to grab a few things that may be helpful as they knew he Doctors hearts were not working correctly. Just as she saw him exiting the building, she also heard from the Tardis again.

“You must come now, my Wolf.” She rushed over to grab Jacks arm and press the button that would send them where they were going.

Rose fought back the once again unfamiliar dizziness and upset stomach the vortex manipulator caused as her eyes focused on the face of the Doctor she hadn’t seen in person before. She catalogued those thoughts for after the mission and reached up to remove one of the glowing blue cuffs that held him in place. As her hand touched it, her body froze in place. An electric shock raced through her body and she was thrown across the room.

Jack rushed to help her up and together they stared at the problem trying to figure it out until Rose’s hands started glowing. Jack looked at her and stood back, he really did not like the whole glowy thing she had going on. It was a bit creepy to see her that way. He wasn’t sure he could conjure something that could bother him more until she spoke.

“Back away Jack. He needs help and will need you once I free him. His hearts are stopping. One already has.” Her voice echoed in on itself and it caused him to shiver even as his eyes widened as he realized what was happening. He lowered the pack on his back to the ground. Good thing he’d grabbed the hypodermic needle filled with adrenaline. Hopefully he would only need the one. He watched as Rose, glowing golden, broke the cuffs away from the Doctor and started lowering him to the floor. He saw the tracks of tears running down her face as she motioned him toward them and he readied the needle as he did.

“Which heart Rose?” He asked worriedly, not wanting to hit the wrong one.

“The left one has stopped. Put the needle there, then afterwards get him out of here. I have business to take care of.” He nodded quietly as he plunged the needle with all his strength into the Doctors chest. He woke gasping, staring into Rose’s eyes.

Her hands cradled his face gently while her eyes proved just how angry she was, “You will not die on me after all I’ve been through Time Lord.” She leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips as he passed out once again. She looked at Jack and stood, turning on her heel, her jacket swirling around her, golden tendrils following in her wake as she went in search of her quarry.

Rose knew where he would be and flowed into the console room quickly. The Bad Wolf power within her flowed toward him, picking John Smith up and holding him in the air easily. She tilted her head as he started gasping in joy.

“Bad Wolf! I knew you would come to me. I’ve prepared it all just for you.” He told her, a look of rapture on his face.

“You have harmed my Doctor. You tried to kill me. You killed my family. Why did you do this?” The double voice sent a shiver of awareness up John’s spine. He was confused. She sounded angry.

“I wish to rid you of them. They don’t worship you as I do. I prepared a place for your vessel with her family. This way you’re not bound to her. She enslaves you!” He cried out to her, hoping she would understand. “Why are you angry with me?”

“I never asked for worship. I am not enslaved as you say.”  Her tilted head snapped back as she considered his words. “I am her and she is me. I have been with her since before birth.”

“That’s not possible goddess. I know when you entered her. It was on the Tardis! You came to give me birth so I could worship you and we could lay waste to the universe!”

“YOU know nothing.” She swatted her hand and he flew roughly into the wall before his body slumped to the ground.

“B-but you came to me in the other universe. You looked at me and approved. I know you did!” He stood slowly, reaching a hand out to her.

“I saw you and hoped you would change your path but you did not. You have angered me.” She folded her hands behind her back as she watched him. The glow of Bad Wolf was still there but the double voice was gone now, leaving only Rose’s voice to speak to him. “I am no goddess. Just a woman who is angry at you and what you have done. Do you still wish to kill me?”

“I never wanted to kill you Rose. Welll maybe I did. But only the human part of you.” He rocked back on his heels as he talked. “I know You are not a goddess, you aren’t worthy but my Bad Wolf, She is amazing. So powerful. She is worthy of me.” He stuck his hands in the pockets of the blue suit jacket he wore and fiddled his fingers as he talked.

“You don’t understand that she and I are the same being?” Rose asked quietly, waiting for whatever move he had planned. She noticed the darkening at his shoulder and realized he was bleeding.

“Rose, the Bad Wolf is not you.” He laughed that laugh that had scared the hell out of her back before she had died. “You are nothing but a template. You should not have come here. You will die again.” He pulled his hand out and pointed a gun at her.

“What? Have you become so cowardly you have to use a gun?” She scoffed at him. “The true Doctor would never stoop so low. He would kill me with his bare hands.”

A ragged sound caught her attention and she looked to the corridor. There he stood. Maybe she shouldn’t have used those exact words as the horror on his face showed he had heard her. Why the hell was he still here? The anger grew again, Jack hadn’t listened to her. She would hopefully deal with that later.

“You shouldn’t be here. I need you safe.” Her eyes pleaded with him, hoping he understood her need for him to leave so she could finish this.

“Yes, Doctor. She needs you gone so she can try to kill part of you.” That damn maniacal laugh sounded again. “I doubt she can do it if she has to face you.”

“Not the case. I know you’re not him. Maybe a part of him but not him. I can kill you just as easily in front of him.” She waved her hand and he flew into the air back against the wall again, this time harder than the last. His forehead hit the edge of something and as he stood up again they could see the blood pouring down his face.

The Doctor steadied himself against the wall as he watched her. He wasn’t worried about what she would do to the human Doctor. The man deserved whatever she did. No, he was worried about her.

“Rose. Come over here. Let me see you.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw the other one fall back down. At her negative response he merely stated, “If you do not come over here Rose, I will come over there.”

He could hear her blowing out a breath of frustration and almost smiled. He’d been surprised when he’d woken up to see Jacks’ face above him in the white room. Even more surprised when he’d pulled the story from Jack about what was happening. Apparently Rose had wanted to send him down to Earth to hide out while she went off to do battle. Damn woman would be the death of him, had in fact been the cause of couple of them if he looked at it that way.

He watched as she still refused to come to him, rolled his eyes and started toward her. He wasn’t paying attention to the slumped over lump of idiot on the other side of the room. He heard the sound of the gun and felt the room turn quickly, making him grab ahold of the console to keep from falling. He heard the impact of the bullet before the turning stopped and closed his eyes hoping it hadn’t hit her. Not now, not when he was just seeing her again. Not after all he now knew she’d been though. He kept his eyes closed even after the room had stopped moving, refusing to look. He knew he was being a coward but couldn’t make himself face what he hoped wasn’t there.

Rose watched him quietly, reading the nervous fear radiating off him through his body language. His head was bowed, eyes closed tightly, hands knuckled white against the console and shoulders slumped. She smiled sadly, shaking her head. She’d seen that posture so many times in the past that even if she hadn’t known that this man was the Doctor, she would’ve known after seeing him like this.

She glanced over at the man who had put her through so much pain and saw he was no longer moving. She closed her eyes for a moment, glad to have the nightmare over but so sad to see a piece of the Doctor dead in this place. She hadn’t seen him point the gun and so hadn’t been the one to interfere. She doubted she would’ve been able to do what had happened anyway. It had to have been the Tardis interfering in her own special way again, although this, she admitted, was certainly new. The Tardis gave a laugh in response to her thoughts and started her normal happy hum again.

‘ _Everything is as it should be now.’_ The words were heard by both and Rose watched the Doctor open his eyes and turn toward her. He stared at her for what seemed like forever, his mouth opening and closing without uttering a word. Shaking her head again, she closed the distance between then and reached up to lay a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Later.” She wasn’t going to get into this discussion with him right now. They needed to remove the body from the console room and dispose of it. Then she needed to have a go at Jack for letting him come after her. After that she would figure out what she could do here in this world. She wasn’t banking on traveling with the Doctor again. This him was two lives after her Doctors and she was sure he still had someone special with him. It was interesting though that that person wasn’t here. Rose had known that his wife was a Time Lady so it made no sense for her not to be here.

She must’ve taken a break from him, Rose had heard of couples doing that once in a while so the excuse seemed viable. She didn’t notice the look of confusion on his face or the way his hands reached for her only to drop again as she turned and moved away to stand over the dead body of her tormenter. She didn’t realize that she was projecting either and so didn’t know the pain he was feeling at her thoughts of not coming with him.

He didn’t hear any thoughts after the one about not traveling with him. Of course she wouldn’t want to be with him after everything he’d done to her. Why’d she even save him? There was no point if she was going to let him know she was alive and here if she wasn’t coming back. Just the fucking universe playing another joke on him. Here, what you want most in the world, oh wait, nope she doesn’t want you anymore. He gasped as a pain shot through his chest and when she turned toward him, he waved her away.

Rose waited a few moments before speaking. “We need to remove the body and dispose of it.” She glanced back at him and he nodded, avoiding her eyes. She watched as he left the room to find something to put the body in or at least to cover it until they were to move it. A few minutes later he returned with a white sheet and Jack in tow.

Seeing Jack, Rose opened her mouth to start telling him off when his eyes widened and he began trying to backpedal.

“Now, Rosie,” He began in the calmest, most infuriating voice she knew he had, “I tried to get him to listen but he wouldn’t. You know he doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to.”

“Jack, he was about dead. How could you not just get you two out of here?” She asked quietly, hands on hips as she glared at him.

“Well Rosie, I did. But he…” He threw up his hands, not really wanting to defend the Doctor but not wanting to rat him out either.

“Oh. I should’ve known.” She turned toward the Doctor who was merely watching them with a half amused, half leery expression on his face. “Your fault.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t try to defend himself, just that one word as he was covering up the body with the sheet. “So, disposal. I know just the place.” He moved silently around the console, never lifting his eyes to either of his companions. Their landing was possibly the smoothest Rose and Jack had ever experienced. They moved to look outside and saw what seemed to be a desolate desert. At their looks back at him, the Doctor shrugged.

“Seems it would be best to burn him where no one else could possibly see the fire.” He motioned for them to follow him and they did. They carried wood from the room he showed them out to the planet, stacking it up until it was almost six feet high with a place to lay him on top. As the Doctor set it on fire, he murmured a prayer in Gallifreyan, then moved back to stand against the Tardis. He tried not to notice Rose wipe tears from her face or how Jack had to keep looking away. He understood why he could feel remorse at seeing a part of himself burning but Rose had gone through hell with this man and Jack had never known him at all.

Jack wasn’t sure what he felt as he stood there once again watching a funeral pyre with the Doctor. The last time he’d done something like this he’d been with the Doctor that had worn the same face as the one on the pyre now. While he had gotten used to the idea of regenerations and all that, it was quite unsettling to be standing here watching a body burn that matched a body of his old friend. This new Doctor was just standing there, the flames reflecting in his eyes. It gave off an eerie quality that had Jack adverting his gaze quickly. This new one seemed colder than the Doctors he had known before. His reactions seemed more calculated, although Jack had to admit that he had reacted the same as he always had when he’d learned that Rose was doing something potentially dangerous earlier. He’d reminded Jack of a cross between the two Doctors he’d known in the past. The intensity of the leather and ears Doctor coupled with the absolute rage of the pinstriped one was something Jack really didn’t wish to see again any time soon staring back into his eyes. Once had been enough thank you very much.

Rose watched the flames lick up the firewood and relief flooded her. He was gone. She didn’t want to feel this way but now the nightmare was over and all she could think was that he was gone. No more pain inflicted just because he wanted to do it. No more mysterious wakings in a hospital room with strange injuries and no memories. No more fearing for the people she cared for. Most of all though, no more seeing the face of a man who she had loved so desperately killing her. That one was rough. She was sure the nightmares would continue but she could wake up now and not see him. She didn’t need to fear when he would show up.

Tears began to fall unbidden. She wasn’t completely sure if they were caused by the memories or the release she was now dealing with. Perhaps it had to do with the uncertainty that was her life right now. Perhaps the thoughts that came, unwanted, of him telling her that the Doctor had wanted him to kill her. It was possible. He had been a part of her Doctor so it stood to reason that one would feel the same as the other. Her Doctor had told her that they thought the same all those years ago. That the only difference was one was human and the other Time Lord.

Rose accepted the thoughts quite easily now that everything was over. She dried her eyes and stood there watching the flames as they continued to burn. She wasn’t going to walk away and start her new life until she watched the embers die out here. She felt the Tardis reach out and threw up her barriers quickly. She didn’t want to hurt the girl but right now her thoughts needed to be only hers. It was the only way she’d be able to resolve herself to what she was planning. No need to have an interfering time and space ship arguing with her about if it was a good idea. If she knew those two, the ship would tell the Doctor and then he would feel guilty and she didn’t need him that way. 

 


	15. Good-Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is an idiot. Enough said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously did want to change this chapter but no matter what I did it still turned out this way so I am really sorry.

 

“So, Doc, it’s been a while. Haven’t seen you since the last time we were all together. What’ve you been doing since then?” They were all three sitting in the galley, sipping tea, like they used to do after an adventure. No one had spoken a word since the funeral pyre and Jack was getting a bit worried about that.

“Same as always Jack. Madman in a box and all that. Nothing too exciting.” The Doctor shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back in his chair, on leg elegantly crossed over the other. “Gotten a bit older since then.”

Rose looked up at that and a half smile quirked her lips. Jack, being Jack, noticed and decided to carry on.

“Ahh but Doc, you still look good. Still wouldn’t turn you down.” He moved his eyebrows suggestively at that Doc and grinned saucily. “I’m pretty sure all your bodies have been hot, always the nice rear too.”

The Doctor glared at him a moment then just burst out laughing. “Jack, you are probably the only man I could believe when he said that. Not sure about my last body though, he was even younger than pinstripes, talked just as much though, and clumsy, he was very clumsy.”

“He was adorable.” Rose muttered quietly. Both turned to her, one with a knowing grin but the other in surprise and confusion.

“Rose, you never met that body.” The Doctor said quietly, wondering if she was okay.

She half smiled again and the guys waited patiently for her to respond. She sighed to herself as she decided how much to tell him about her dreams back then. She knew it would sound a bit crazy but really what part of her life wasn’t anymore. Sighing again, she lifted her eyes to meet his and he was taken back by the resignation there. Her eyes showed so much pain and loneliness that his hearts broke.

“Doctor, I’ve known what you’ve been doing for quite a while. The dreams started a couple weeks after you left me over there. I think he had some of them as well but not after you regenerated into your next body. He tried to be a good man until that version of you died.” She watched his angry eyebrows rise in surprise at her words and almost smiled at his shock. Almost, but not quite. “I saw many of your adventures. Saw what you did on Mars, saw you go back to the Ood home world, saw you confront the Master a final time. I watched as you saved Wilf, finally realizing who would be knocking four times, I even watched as you visited everyone afterwards saying your final goodbyes. Jack hasn’t seen his yet, it’s soon though.”

“But our Bond shouldn’t have worked like that all the way across the Void Rose.” He ran his hand through his hair with a nervous air. If she had seen everything, she knew about River too.

“Well, it did. We talked in my dreams during your bowtie days. You were so adorable then. And so excitable too. We would talk about your worries about your Ponds quite a bit and one day you came and told me about a woman named River. She was a Time Lady and you found out that at some point you would be married to her.” Rose took a deep breath remembering that dream. It had hurt but she had understood that he needed to move on. Looking up, she noticed Jacks angry looking face and smiled sadly at him.

“There’s no reason to be angry Jack. He needed someone and River is a good woman. They’ve saved the world together a few times.” She didn’t notice the look on the Doctors face, more confusion than anything, as she sipped her tea before continuing again.

“Once you told me about River, I stopped having the dreams for the most part. Once in a while I would get glimpses of what was going on. I saw the Pandorica and you creating a second Big Bang. I saw Trenzalore and you dying. But I didn’t see you afterwards. Once you regenerated, I never saw your new face even though I knew you were still alive. I sometimes would feel your anger though,” she looked him in the eyes at that, “you’ve been angry a lot in this body.”

“You’ve seen all that and yet with this body all you could find was my anger? Do you even know why I was angry Rose?” He thought back to when he was regenerating. He’d so wanted to die then, hoping to be reunited with her somewhere, anywhere as long as it was with her.

“Of course I don’t know why you were angry. I have no clue what you’ve done in this body.” Her reasonable answer caused both men to smile. Jack had heard parts of this already but the wife part had bothered him and now the Doctor was talking as well. It was going to be a helluva day if this continued. Standing up, he started making them all a new batch of tea.

“I wanted to die there, Rose. I wanted to die there and finally be able to find you again. I was so sure that we would find each other somehow once I died. But of course, the fucking universe had other plans and gave me a whole new regeneration cycle. So instead of finding you I was forced to become a new man again. I was angry. When I woke up, I got even more angry because everything reminded me of you and you weren’t there. No one could figure out the right questions to ask. They were bloody idiots, Rose. No one understood. They still don’t.”

Jack stared at him for a moment, not completely sure that he had really heard what he’d just said. Maybe this Doctor wasn’t as cold as he’d first assumed. There was anger and grief in his voice, his hands were shaking and something akin to pain was etched on his older, yet still beautiful face. He watched the other man close his eyes and breathe a couple times to bring himself under control again before glancing at Rose. He couldn’t see a tell on her reaction at all. At one time, she would’ve been so easy to understand. Now, it was like she had schooled herself to show no emotion at all.

“Doc, how old are you now?” At the Doctors questioning look, he shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve been wondering since we found you.”

“About two thousand years old now Jack. It’s been over a thousand years for me since I last saw you both.” He smiled gently at Jacks shocked expression. “Time machine remember?”

“Yet, you started this regeneration thinking of Rosie. It’s been a thousand years Doc, most would’ve forgotten in that amount of time.” Jack pressed him, thinking this Doctor would say it.

“Couldn’t forget the one person in the universe who made it worth living now could I?” The Doctor stopped quickly, closing his eyes and then glaring at Jack. He turned to see Rose’s reaction and saw she wasn’t there. When had she left? Looking back to Jack, he received a shrug, he hadn’t noticed either.

 

Rose had left once Jack started asking questions. She hadn’t wanted or needed to know the answers. The Doctors words swam through her head as she roamed the hallways of the ship. Doors would appear in front of her from time to time but none felt right. She wasn’t sure what was behind any of them anymore, they weren’t the same as when she’d been here before. So she walked and thought until a wooden door with Gallifreyan script appeared at the end of the hall. It was beautiful and for some reason, she felt she needed to be in this room.

It wasn’t a large room by Tardis standards, but it was a decent size. There were shelves full of different things. Some she recognized and some she didn’t. They all seemed to be mementos from different places.

“What is this place?” she asked out loud.

_‘Memories.’_

“Memories? His?”

_‘Yes. He places all his memories here.’_

“So mementos of the places he’s been then.”

_‘Some are. Others are of those who have left him. There are many.’_

“Should I be here then? These are private to him.” Rose turned towards the door but it was gone. She rolled her eyes. “You are interfering again.”

_‘Yes. You hide from me. You think it would be best to leave him.’_

“I do. He sent me away Girl. And gave me someone who tried to kill me. Hell, he did kill me.”

_‘I know and understand. He thought he was dying. Would you have done differently? If you knew you were dying and had the chance to make him happy by sending him away, what would you do?’_

Rose sighed and moved around, glancing at different shelves as she moved deeper into the room. “I don’t know what I would’ve done.” Her words stopped as she stood in front of one shelf filled with photos of her and little knick knacks she had collected during her time with them. “These are all of me?”

_‘Yes Wolf. The Thief visits here much more than any other. All of your items are here. There are many shelves dedicated to you.’_

“Why?”

“Do you really need to ask?” Came a rough voice behind her. She spun quickly, startled that she hadn’t heard him. He looked so incredibly sad, so much more than he had before she’d gone across the void.

“I’m starting to hate when you ask questions like that. Last time you left me with a murderous asshole. You said he needed me. You said he was you. If that was so damn true then you,” she gestured around the room, “you wouldn’t have all of this.”

The Doctor grabbed ahold of her arms and engulfed her within his. She struggled to break free but he held on for dear life. Let her rant and rave as much as she wanted, he knew he deserved it, but he needed to be the one she did it too. If for no other reason that he understood what was going on with her.

Sighing heavily, he rested his chin on the top of her head. “Rose, are you angry at me because I kept your stuff? Or because I left you over there with him?”

“Does it matter anymore?” The pain in her voice caused him to wince. He had never wanted his Rose to deal with what she had gone through. Hell, he’d even gone back in her time stream just to punish someone who had hurt her a lot less than he had. With that precedent set, perhaps he should do it to himself as well. That wasn’t exactly logical though and he knew it.

“Doctor, do you know how it feels to think that the love of your life hates you so much that he would drop you off in a parallel universe with another version of himself just to be tortured over and over?” She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. “Would you like to know? I can show you. Do you want to see all he did? Will it help to know if he did enough to break me?”

The venom in her voice scared him. He already knew what he’d seen in the dream but it was possible he’d missed some and he needed to know everything if he had any way of keeping her with him. He took a deep breath, knowing it was going to hurt him as much if not more than it did her and agreed. He lay his forehead against hers and waited for her to initiate contact. Rose swallowed and touched his temple, sending all her memories of the last ten years to him.

All he could feel was pain as her memories washed over him, painting everything he saw in reds and blacks. There were no pinks or yellows or golds in these. At first the memories were all coated in the black of despair, soon though it changed. Anger mixed in and the Doctor wandered the corridors of her memories with abject horror. All he’d wanted for her was her happiness. Each corridor had several doors to be opened and each one showed something else that made him gasp and sent pain through his hearts. He felt everything she felt, believed everything she had believed, and finally he understood. Rose would never be the same person she had been and it was his fault. She would never trust him again and at that thought, he broke.

The Doctor opened his eyes and swayed unsteadily. He stared at Rose for a moment, muttered something that made absolutely no sense and fled. He hid in a room she had no knowledge of and sank to the floor as soon as he closed the door. Greif unlike any other he’d ever felt filled him and he cried. His body shook as he sat there in that room which he had dedicated to her. It was his rose garden. Every color of rose, every hybrid ever thought of and some he had come up with himself. This room had represented his hope of finding her again and yet now that he had he would never actually get to keep her. Why had he ever believed he would?

  

He asked the Tardis to hide the door so no one could enter and when she did, he wandered. He stayed there, ignoring the call of his ship, knowing if it had been Rose he wouldn’t have been able to. He needed to do a physical on Rose before she left though. She’d probably argue with him but he decided he wasn’t going to listen. She would allow him this whether she wanted to or not before he let her leave him. He wasn’t going to beg her to stay or let her see how much it was already tearing him up.

He spent hours in the garden before he felt composed enough to face what was coming. He asked the Tardis to bring him close to the console room so he wouldn’t need to run into either of his visitors. She groused at him but did as he asked and when he entered the console room, the only one there was Jack. The man was sitting there in an extra captains’ chair that the Tardis had obviously provided and he appeared to just be waiting. The Doctor flicked his eyes over him before rounding the console and entering coordinates for where they needed to go.

“Doc.” Jack began.

“Don’t Jack. It’s for the best.” He ran a hand over his face before flipping the lever to take them back to Jacks time.

“For who Doc?”

“It’s what she wants Jack. She’ll not stay with me after everything she went through. She can choose where and when and I’ll bring her there.” He closed his eyes against the new swell of pain as he said those words and took a deep calming breath.

“And you?” Jack asked quietly. “What will you do?”

“I don’t know,” He sighed. “I’ll go away for a while, I suppose. There really is no reason for me to be here now.” He looked up when he heard his old friends’ indrawn breathe and grimaced. “Jack, I’m sorry. I’m not a good man, I’ve done a lot since you last saw me. I’ve messed with fixed points. I’ve killed, I’ve manipulated others to kill for me, I’ve put so many people into situations I never would have before. I remember being a good man. I remember her making me want to be one, her making me want to live again, but now it doesn’t matter anymore.” He turned away as he said this, not seeing the look of despair on Jacks face or the lone tear that fell. “We’ll be there soon. I’ll just go and find her.”

  

He found her in the library, her habits hadn’t changed that much. He shouldn’t have been surprised really. Standing in the doorway, he studied her as she flipped through one of the books she would have found extremely boring all those years ago. He would have to memorize the way she looked at this moment so he could pull it out once in a while. As he stood there, he watched his last 3 versions of himself walking around and settling in to do the same. Each studied her with such different expressions that he was taken back a bit.

  

His leather self was down in front of her, his hand tracing her face as she closed her eyes and sighed. A blissful sigh escaped her as he did this. He stood and pressed not there lips against hers as her head tilted back and then he was gone.

  

His next self, the one after he’d gone to Mars, stepped up to her then. The pain on his face was palpable as he stared down at her. His hand shook as he reached out toward her. He didn’t touch just yet, merely reaching for her, knowing he would never again be able to. His other hand clenched as if looking for a hand to hold and he swallowed deeply. He whispered something no one could hear and fell to his knees. His head dropped to her knees and his body shook uncontrollably. A tear rolled down Roses cheek unnoticed by her as she continued to read the book in her hand. Was she feeling the emotions of his ghosts as they said good-bye?

  

Finally, it was time for his last body. The youngest looking of all his bodies did not try to touch her. He sat on the edge of the table in front of her and just watched her. His oh so sad eyes traced every line of her before he looked up and stared the Doctor standing in the doorway. His lips moved on one word only, “Why?” The one who had forced himself to forget so he could move on with his life brought his hands to cover his mouth as he sat there just watching her. Then he stood up, leaned over, and whispered in her ear before fading to nothing. Rose jumped, her hand moving to her ear, and looked around.

  

Their gazes met and the Doctor quickly looked away while throwing up his shields so she couldn’t read him. “Rose, can you come to Med Bay with me? Let me see that crossing back here didn’t do any damage, please?” He didn’t know why he was asking, he’d already told himself that he would demand it, yet he couldn’t help himself.

  

Rose watched him quietly for a moment before standing. She motioned for him to lead on and followed him as he turned and went down the corridor. In the Med Bay he motioned for her to lay on the bed and he set about taking out everything he needed. He started the scanner while pulling out a small gun like device with an empty vial in the top of it. He washed his hands and her arm, then pressed the device to her. There was no pain, no needle prick, just a hum and then the vial filled with her blood. When he pulled away there was a quickly fading red mark on her arm and then nothing.

  

He was the most detached she’d ever seen him as he made slides and filled small test tubes with her blood. He placed the tubes in some device she didn’t yet know about and watched as he studied the slides under the microscope. He nodded to himself before turning back to her and waiting for the scanner to finish. Rose was beginning to get worried. He still refused to look her in the eye and every time she tried to brush his mind she met a steel door. She may have gone too far earlier and that worried her. She wasn’t sure what she wanted from him but detachment from the situation certainly wasn’t it. When he’d turned away from her after she’d pushed her memories on him, he’d been scared and hurt. Then, his emotions had completely shut off from her. This though, made her want to cry. He had always been so passionate, no matter what he was doing or how he was feeling. It was almost like his will to go on had seeped away from her and all she could see was a shell. She was scared.

He was studying the scans when he finally spoke. “The centrifuge will be done in a few minutes. Then I can test those to make sure your blood is fine. If so, all your med work will be complete. I need to study these for a bit longer. Why don’t you go out and keep Jack company? I’m sure he would love to spend some more time with you.” Rose looked like she wanted to say something, then decided against it and nodded. As she left, he watched her quietly, wishing he knew what to say to her now. His other bodies hadn’t ever had a problem even when they were worried or scared. But then again, he told himself, they had never known just how completely he would fail her.

  

Half an hour later, the Doctor stepped out of Med Bay with a grimace. Roses’ biology had been changed. After asking the Tardis, he found out that she and Rose already knew. Stepping into the room, he glanced at the other two before crossing the room and opening the doors. Cardiff stood outside them and he blinked. He seriously didn’t want to be here. Standing outside with his hands in his pockets, he waited for the other two to follow him so he could get it over with.

  

Jack and Rose both stepped outside and looked around. Jack looked over to the Doctor in a silent question and received a nod back. They were back in the correct time. Jack just stared at him for a minute before backing away a small bit. He wasn’t sure how the Doc was going to handle this situation so figured he might want to stick around. Rose was going to be pissed, he already knew.

“Why are we here Doctor?” Rose looked around quickly. “Does the Tardis need to refuel?”

“No, she’s fine. I just thought I’d drop Jack off and see where you want to be. Here or somewhere else. Tell me and I’ll take you there.” Still refusing to look her in the eye, he looked slightly past her.

“So you’re not going to discuss it at all, are you? Just drop me off and run away? If that’s how it’s going to be, I’ll just stay here.” Rose was hoping he’d refute what she said, hoped he’d say that yeah he did want to talk, but instead he just nodded and turned back to the ship.

“Doctor?” She squeaked out quickly.

He turned back to her on the other side if the door. “Good-bye Rose.” The doors shut and a moment later the Tardis dematerialized. She didn’t see the man on the other side of the door, unable to move from the pain of his broken hearts. She didn’t see or hear anything because the tears blinded her and the pain made her deaf to all around. She didn’t know that Jack was helping her back to his place and she didn’t know when he sat her on her borrowed bed in the room she had been in earlier. All she knew was that he had left her once again and that it was most definitely her fault this time. And god, did it hurt.


	16. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Problems are worked out and something happens that really is unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, my friends. The final Chapter, well, I say final but I'm going to be putting up an epilogue.. perhaps a bit of smut in there, just because :) I hope you all have enjoyed this as much as I have. I love how Nine came across in this final chapter, I could see him doing what he does if given the chance. Happy Reading, will see you soon with the final final part :)  
> Happy New Year Everyone.  
> I'll be putting the epilogue up for this one before I continue on my newest fic, A New Destiny.
> 
> Disclaimers apply as usual, I do not own the characters or the universe or anything else, BBC does.

 

Rose Tyler had stopped crying hours ago. She was sitting on top of one of the heating units on the roof of Jacks’ building when she felt it. Someone was trying to mess with her mind. It was painful enough to make her want to scream, instead she took a deep breath, focused on the string that lead from her mind to whoever it was and saw him. It wasn’t that he was trying to mess with her at all. He was trying to clear his mind of all outside influence. He was sitting cross legged on the top of his Tardis in the blackness of space, meditating. It was that he was trying to push the pain away and unknown to him it was coming right back to her.

Well, if he could sit there being an idiot, perhaps she could float out in front of him and yell at him for being one. She took a deep breath and forced her image to appear in front of him.

“Doctor, what are you doing?” His eyes popped open and he looked straight at her.

“Rose?” He looked around and saw no way she could be standing there in front of him. It shouldn’t be possible.

“Remember, Doctor, I’m not on friendly terms with impossible.” She folded her arms as she studied him.

His lips quirked before straightening back out. “Why are you doing this, Rose?”

“Why are you? It’s not often that you meditate. Something very troubling must have happened to you today.” He glared at her obtuseness.

“Do you think it’s not upsetting for me Rose?” He looked away for a moment and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know whether it is or isn’t, Doctor. Remember, you don’t tell me anything. You just make decisions and expect others to live by them. You could have asked to talk to me. Instead you and only you decided that I had to go. So now we’re going to have this conversation.” She looked around and didn’t see any of the star clusters that she could easily recognize so asked where they were.

“The other side of the universe,” he sighed. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Oh yes Doctor. I am so very tired of you making decisions for me. I made a promise to you a long time ago, but yet every damn time you have a chance, you get rid of me. If that was what you wanted, you should’ve just said so.”

“That’s not what I wanted, Rose!” He told her quietly, yet the anger in his words hit her full force.

“Then what is it you do want? Just tell me that.”

He hung his head and refused to answer her. His thoughts were running so fast and somehow she was in front of him, looking like a ghost, which hurt even more than leaving her.

“Doctor.” He looked back up at her. “What do you want?”

“What I’ve always wanted Rose.” He smiled dejectedly at her and said, “I want you safe and I want you to be happy. If it takes me leaving for you to be those things, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Rose blinked at him as his words registered. Then she got angry. “Are you a fucking idiot? How many times have you left me and come back to see me fucking happy? Oh. Yes, let’s send her back home from the Game Station. She’ll be happy knowing I’m dying in the future. That’s okay, have a fantastic life, Rose Tyler.” He gaped at her mocking tone.

“I was trying to keep you safe!”

She scoffed at him. “How about this one, Well, her mums going over there along with Mickey, so let’s send her there as well. Even though she knows I have Cybermen and Daleks coming to destroy me, she’ll accept my decision, after all, her promises of forever meant nothing.”

“That’s not the way it was, Rose. I was trying to keep you safe! Why can’t you understand that?”

She just glared at him and he thought back over his last two excuses. He had to at least admit to himself that Rose Tyler had never asked to be kept safe. She had always run straight toward the danger just like him. Maybe, she had a valid reason to be angry with him on those two occasions.

“Okay, Doctor, say I believed that line. Explain this one to me cause it’s the hardest one for me to understand. You drop me off back in the universe that I’d been trying to escape for five years. And then to top it all off, you left me with a man who you did not trust. You thought he was wrong, yet you left him with me, saying that he needed me. You tried to foist a dream on me that I never had. And it went to hell. Out of all of those situations, which do you think made me happy, Doctor?”

He flinched at that one. Pain radiated from him to her physical body so far away and she raised an eyebrow at him. “I felt that. Does it hurt you that much to know what happened over there?”

His shoulders slumped and his head bowed. “Of course it hurts Rose. How could you think I would ever want you harmed? What hurts the most though is that you believe I wanted you to be treated that way.”

“I don’t believe that, Doctor. Why would you think that?”

“You sent me your memories, Rose. It was all there.”

It was her turn to sigh at him. “Doctor, I sent you my pain. I sent you what he did to me at that time not my own thoughts afterwards. That was me at my lowest.”

His eyes searched hers, “Truly?”

The hope in his voice caused her to shake her head at him. “Come back, Doctor. I’m sitting on Jacks roof. Let’s connect so you can really see what’s in my head.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment but shook his head and opened his mouth.

“I can always ask the Tardis and she will bring you back to me.” He looked defeated when she reminded him of that fact and finally agreed. “I’ll see you in just a moment then, right?”

“Yes, Rose.” He sighed and looked up to see her gone. Had she actually been there? She really shouldn’t have been able to project herself like that unless she had used their link to make him see her outside of his mind. Was her mind that strong?

He hadn’t really taken the chance to find out everything Bad Wolf had done to Rose but it was possible that this was a side effect. Rose had always been slightly telepathic but this was a whole new dimension he hadn’t counted on.

He sighed. If he went back and connected with her again, their bond would snap back in place. He wouldn’t be able to leave her even if she asked him to. He heard a scoff in his mind and wasn’t sure if it was himself or her.

 

 The Doctor huffed to himself as he was closing the Tardis doors, for the simple reason that the time rotor was already sounding. The old girl wasn’t taking any chances with him, it seemed. She’d been angry when he had ordered her to take off the way he had when saying goodbye earlier, and still hadn’t really forgiven him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go back and see Rose face to face. He knew he was a coward, that was essentially the reason he had been running all of his lives. And now he was going to face her again, the one person in the universe who could destroy him with just a look or word. Fuck, even just a frown or a tear. And he had willingly given her that power all those years ago. He groaned and thunked his head against the doors. He hated thinking about the one she had fallen for. Ever since, each incarnation had an inferiority complex when it came to that man.

He heard a caustic laugh in his head and words spoken with a Northern burr sounded. Great, now he was talking shit to himself from a younger him.

 _‘Ya scared of Rose? Or scared she’s gonna turn ya away?’_ He turned and saw him in That form leaning back against the console with his arms crossed across his chest and legs crossed at the ankles. He had a smirk on his face that spoke of arrogance and cunning.

“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.” The Doctor walked over to the captain’s chair and sat heavily.

 _‘Why not?’_ The younger him straightened, put his hands in his jacket pocket and studied him. _‘Ya would run from her? From Rose?’_

“How can any of us live up to you? The one who died so she would live? The one who fell in love with her? Or the one she fell in love with? Kinda impossible, that.” He threw back at his younger self.

 _‘Not really. Ya tellin me ya wouldn’t die for her? Do ya not love her?’_ He was crossing his arms and looking at the Doctor with a sardonic expression. _‘I’m bettin ya would and do.’_

“Of course I would. I do.” The Doctor stood up, rubbing his face, and paced around the room. He stopped and stared at the image of the man he used to be. “Oh.”

 _‘Yeah, Oh. I must get really stupid as I get older.’_ He shook his head as he watched the older version and smiled. _‘Rose loves us, all of us. Yeah, she fell for me, don’t know why. I’m right though, you’re scared. Don’t be. She is too. Scared ya moved on and forgot. By the way, she loves the accent.’_

The Doctor stared at him wondering. “How do you know that? Any of it?”

The leather him just grinned and said, _‘I have my ways. Always around, me.’_ Nodding toward the door he added, _‘She’s out there waitin. Ya gonna make her continue? If so, I’ll go out there myself. Wonder how much harder it would be for ya if I did.’_

The Doctor jumped up and moved in front of the doors to stop him. “You mean she could actually see you?”

The other him grinned, walked up to him and pushed. The Doctor stumbled back. This was the actual him? How was that possible?

 _‘Possibly cause you’re an idiot. Not an image, ya idiot. This is me. If I wanna be. I don’t mind going back to her. The Eternals like me, ya see. I gave up this me for her. If I wanted I could come back and if you’re too much of an idiot, I will. Now, make a choice, fight for her or give her back.’_ The younger man looked like he would willingly go out those doors to Rose but he was giving his older self a chance at her too.

“I’m going out there, you can go away.” The Doctor growled, there was no way he was going to give up his chance with Rose, just so this one could have her again. “You gave up your fucking chance, I’m not.”

The leather Doctor smiled, nodded his head and went back to the console. He put himself back into the position he had first seen him in, saluted, and vanished. The Doctor just stood there, gob smacked. Now he knew it was possible to run into his previous or future selves but not like this. It seemed a bit too much, even for him. But, he had to admit, if any of them could do it, it would’ve been that one. He heard laughter in the back of his mind as he turned toward the doors and walked out of them.

It was dark out when he left the Tardis and saw Rose standing there, her back to him. Standing there, he looked his fill. She was so damned beautiful, she seemed to glow. Turning toward him, she smiled that smile that could turn him to mush every time. You would think that after centuries, the effect would have dimmed at least a little.

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

They both stood there for a moment taking the other in. Neither sure if they should speak first or wait. Finally, he decided and strode over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, brought his lips to hers and kissed her. Running his tongue on her lips, she opened and he entered. Their tongues tangled together. He moaned and heard her responding in kind. Her arms came up to wrap around his neck and her hands ran through the hair at his nape. This was what he needed. To be in her arms was where he needed to be. One arm tightened around her as the other came up to sift through her hair and hold her to him.

Pulling back, he released her lips reluctantly. He, however, did not release her from his hold, merely held her closer to him, scared of letting her go. She watched him for a clue as to what he was planning but at that moment, he could do nothing but hold on to her. Finally, he pulled away and held out his hand. She looked at it, smiled slightly, and twined her fingers with his.

“So, you want to talk out here or in the Tardis?” He asked quietly, looking anywhere but at her.

“Tardis.” Grinning at his seemingly shyness, she pulled him into his blue box and waited for him to send them into the vortex.

Taking his hand again, Rose led him to the library and sat on the love seat that she’d always loved. The Tardis had taken it away after she was gone but brought it back after this regeneration. He didn’t spend much time in the room anymore, mostly because she wasn’t there.

Rose watched him as he moved around the room. He hadn’t lost his restlessness but she had a feeling that he was stalling for more time.

“Sit, Doctor.” She told him, patting the cushion beside her. He looked terrified but sat anyway. Those blue grey eyes were darting anywhere except to her and she sighed. “You are a mess.”

Ah, there they were, she thought as his eyes met hers. “I’m not.” He denied. “Just not good at sitting still.”

“Shh.” She brought her finger to his lips and he quieted. “Now, we are going to do this. And you are going to pay attention, okay?”

He nodded and she pulled his head to hers, giving his lips a chaste kiss before raising her fingers to his temple and his to hers. The Doctor fell into her mind. He was in a foyer of sorts. There was an elevator waiting for him and so he entered. It brought him to the first floor. Stepping out, he saw his ninth form leaning up against the wall, that infuriating smirk on his face as he waved at him.

_There you are, Idiot._

_You know, you are insulting yourself here._

_Of course I know. Don’t mean I can’t do it. Now go on through those doors, each floor carries her memories of all of us._

_Am I going to have to deal with one of us on every floor?_

The smile the man gave him wasn’t very reassuring even as he held his arm out motioning the Doctor to enter the doors.  Entering, he was bombarded with colors of blue and gold, pinks and purples. She had been happy back then, even though she’d been so very young. He watched as she fell in love with the crazy alien who wasn’t always a hero but was trying the best he could. He’d said so many things back then to her that he’d ended up apologizing for. He’d been so scared of Rose Tyler breaking his heart that he’d continued to push her away even while trying to keep her. Somehow she had still fallen in love with him. He’d never understand that.

Leaving the room, he looked around but Big Ears wasn’t around so he got back on the elevator to go to the next floor. This time he heard music while waiting and started smiling when he realized it was a girl singing about an alien guy. Well, it did fit their circumstances.

DWDWDWDW

The Doctor had slouched over after he’d entered her head, and Rose pulled his head into her lap, trying to make him a bit more comfortable. She was starting to become a bit worried as he’d been in there for a couple hours now. Running her hand through his hair made her smile, it was still some fantastic hair. Soft and silky, all of her Doctors seemed to have really great hair, even her first one. It’d been short but it had also felt wonderful whenever she had gotten the guts up enough to run her hands over it.

She let out a deep sigh. She’d screwed up pretty bad when she’d pushed those memories at him. She’d been angry at him for giving her that fall back excuse… Does it need saying? Ugg, he could be so damn dense sometimes. Yes, sometimes it does need saying and just once she would really like it if she could hear the words from him.

Rose was startled out of her thoughts when the Doctors body flinched against hers. He opened those eyes and stared up at her for a moment, as if he needed to figure out where he was. He blinked and then with a smile that made her heart beat double time, he reached up and pulled her mouth to his.

The kiss was sweet, both pouring all of their hearts into it. It was gentle, a slow exploration of each other. Rose pulled back and smiled. He flipped over and off the cushion he’d been on. Kneeling in front of her, the Doctor traced her cheek before cupping it.

“Rose Tyler, can you forgive me for leaving you with him?” His eyes were glassy as he asked.

“Haven’t I always forgiven you?” She replied as she cupped his cheek as well. He would probably always get away with more than he should simply because he could.

“Usually.” Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around her waist and cushioned his head against her stomach. “I’ve missed you so much. So many years, Rose.”

She gently stroked his hair and smiled. “I know, Doctor, but some things can’t be changed, no matter how much we wish they could have been.”

“Rose, I married another woman.” He felt he better point that out in case she’d forgotten.

“Yes, and I hope you loved her.” The softness in her voice startled him. How could she ask that of him?

“I did, but not like you.” He wanted to look up at her but was worried about her reaction.

“Doctor, look at me.” He shook his head and she sighed. “Doctor. Look at me.” With those words, she started pulling his head up. There eyes met and there was no accusation in hers. He almost sagged with relief. She ran her forefinger over his cheek, then kissed his forehead.

“Tell me about her. Tell me about your River Song.” And so he did.

He told her of the first meeting in the library that had scared him so badly. Scared him because he had known then that he wouldn’t be able to keep his Rose. Her told her about her parents, about how she kept showing up, about how she drove him absolutely spare with her ‘Hello Sweetie’ and ‘Spoilers’. And then he told her about what had happened when she was born. How she’d been kidnapped and programmed to kill him. How very guilty he’d felt when he realized that her entire life had been manipulated because of him. How he’d come to care for her. How he’d married her to save the world. He told her about her supposedly killing him and needing to stay in jail even though she knew he was still alive. And finally he told her of their one night/twenty-four years at the singing towers of Darillium.

“I gave her my screwdriver and sent her to her death, Rose. Just a few months ago, I sent her to her death.” And he cried, there in the Tardis, his head laying in her lap, he cried. Not the single tear he’d shed when sending River off, no, this time he cried for everything he hadn’t been able to stop. For every time he’d done something stupid and hurt River, making her believe he didn’t and couldn’t love her. “She died believing I didn’t love her, Rose. And I don’t know how to make it right.”

“It’s okay.” She hated seeing him like this. “I’m sure she knew how you felt. You may not have told her, but I have a feeling that she knew. We women usually do.”

“You didn’t know.” The Doctor pointed out as his tears slowed.

“No, I didn’t but I was also young and foolish and full of a hero worship that told me that such an amazing man could never love a simple shop girl from London.” She smiled down at him still running her hand through his hair soothingly.

“You were never just a simple shop girl, Rose Tyler. You were the woman who taught me to live again. You made me want to be a good man even though I knew I wasn’t.” Letting go of her, he moved to sit beside her and sighed. “You never told me in your dreams what was happening to you over there. Why?”

She shrugged, “Didn’t want to worry you. I realized that if you knew, then you would work to try and fix it but there was nothing you could’ve done and it would’ve hurt you even more.”

“You didn’t want to hurt me even though another me was hurting you? That makes absolutely no sense Rose. Anyone else would’ve hated me and made sure I felt every blow.” He ran his hands over his face, growling in his frustration.

“What good would that have done? You couldn’t come save me.” He could tell she meant exactly what she said and for some inexplicable it infuriated him.

“What fucking good did it do to keep me from knowing?” He yelled at her, launching himself from the love seat and pacing back and forth, arms gesturing wildly.

She sat there watching him calmly as he did this and just smiled sadly.

“No! You don’t smile like that dammit! When did you start smiling like that?” His voice broke on his question as he stilled as stared at her brokenly. “I broke your smile, Rose.”

“No, Doctor.” She stood and walked to him. “You didn’t. Your double broke me but you didn’t. You have never wanted to hurt me and I know that. Knew it then even.” Wrapping her hands around his, she pulled him back to the loveseat. Sitting, he pulled her to lean against him and they sat there for a while, each content to be exactly where they were.

 

DWDWDWDWDWDW

 

Hours later, Rose woke, she was more relaxed than she had been in a long time. She snuggled toward the warmth she could feel beside her and heard a heartbeat against her ear. Her eyes shoot up and met his eyes.

“Morning, Rose Tyler.” He smiled gently at her, his arms tight around her.

“No morning on the Tardis, Doctor.” She quipped back at him and he chuckled, the sound reverberating in his chest.

He traced her face with the tip of his thumb as he cupped a cheek. “There’s something I need to tell you.” His eyes were soft and Rose was sure she knew what it was.

“You don’t need to, Doctor.” She whispered.

“Yes, I do. No more regrets, Rose. I’ve regretted not telling you for years, so many years.” He shifted so he could kiss her lips quickly. “So many regrets. I’ve run from the pain ever since there. Just got in my box and ran and ran. It stops now.”

She nodded, biting her lip, waffling between wanting to hear them and not.

“Rose Tyler, I love you. I have loved you for so very long.” His eyes were wet as the words came out and she leaned up to kiss them. She didn’t want to see him cry anymore, not this wonderful, fantastic, beautiful man.

Pulling back, she smiled that smile, “I love you too, Doctor. Always will.” He kissed her then, full of the passion he’d been holding in check for her.

Rose was the first to notice it. A burning sensation on her left hand and wrist. Gasping, she looked down to see a silver mark starting to form from her wrist, across the back of her hand and down to her ring finger. They both stared at it as it formed until his hand starting to burn as well.

They watched as symbols started forming there. The markings on the Doctors hand were golden and an open rose appeared with the word Wolf in Gallifreyan. Rose’s hand had a picture of a storm in full force with lightning striking everywhere and the word Doctor in English.

Looking up, Rose saw a huge smile on the Doctors face. He stood and pulled her up with him, hugging her tightly and kissing her with such passion that her knees tried to buckle under her.

“Soul Marks, Rose. I never thought I’d see a soul mark on my hand.” Her questioning look made him understand that she had o clue what he was talking about. “Oh, yes, right. See, soul marks appear when soul mates have decided to once again commit to each other. I’ve only seen a few of them and never did I see them on Gallifrey. Only a few across the universe.”

“Once again?” She asked quietly, wondering if it meant what she thought.

“Oh yes, Rose. It seems our past lives were intertwined as well” He couldn’t stop smiling.

“So, like reincarnation?” She really loved him, but sometimes he really needed to learn to expound on certain things. “Like the Dalai Lama?”

“Exactly like the Dalai Lama, you know I still can’t believe he really was a human. When I first heard of him, I was so sure he would be from somewhere else. Oh well. Even I’m wrong at times.” She giggled at him and he grinned back.

“Okay, so we’re soul mates. Explains why I trusted you enough to run away with you.” He grabbed her and kissed her again.

“Rose Tyler, will you run away with me forever?” He asked, his eyes full of vulnerability as he waited.

“Of course. I promised you my forever a long, long time ago Doctor. I meant it then and now that I actually have forever to give, I mean it now as well.”  


	17. Epilogue: Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved doing this story although at times it and I fought over how it should go. I hope you all enjoyed it as well.  
> I've started a new story called A New Destiny which is just a bit different from this one. Hope to see you all there.

Epilogue: Forever

Jack stood in front of the two people who had changed his life all those many years ago and a swell of love hit him full force. He took a moment to himself to appreciate their beauty. They were dressed in the red and gold of the Doctors chapter house and their guests had been stunned when they had first laid eyes on them. It was like they glowed here on this frigid beach. The frozen waves behind them added a timeless atmosphere that was perfect for these two.

Rose and the Doctor stood facing each other in front of their makeshift family. Jack raised their left hands and removed the gloves that had been covering them. Two glowing soul marks were covering them and their guests gasped.

“Throughout the universe,” he began, “there are few worlds that do not have a concept of soul mates.” He placed their hands against each other between them. “A soul mate is literally the other half of your soul. Soul mates are couples whose love is so profound that they return to the universe over and over in order to be with each other. Today, we join these two who have found their other half once again.”

Jack stepped away and held out his hand. Donna laid a burnished gold braided rope in his hand and he returned to them. Starting at Roses elbow, he wrapped the rope around her, then around their hands, binding them together before continuing down to the Doctors elbow.

“Binding their hands together represents how they will always work together, hand in hand, each an equal partner to the other.”

Stepping back again, he held out his other hand and Mickey lay a longer rope of the same type on it. As he kneeled before them, they stepped together to press one leg against the other. As he began wrapping the rope from ankle to mid-thigh, Jack spoke again, “The binding of their legs says that these two will walk forward as a unit, never leaving the other behind, always working together, throughout eternity.”

Sarah Jane stepped forward on the other side of the couple holding another rope and together with Jack wrapped the final one around their waists. She stepped back into the circle of their friends and continued to watch.

“The binding of their waists tells all who would try that no one can come between. Their hearts beat as one. They will love and defend each other even with their dying breath.” Jack grinned as he moved backwards to join the circle as well.

Rose and the Doctor gazed into each other’s eyes, leaning their foreheads against the other. Now they had vows to speak yet her Doctor had a look in his eyes that said more was coming than she had expected.

“Rose, before I speak my vows to you, there are others who need to be here first.” Closing his eyes, the Doctor sent a telepathic message to the cosmos. Suddenly three blue police boxes appeared on the outside of the circle their family had made around them. Out stepped the three other forms of the Doctor that Rose had known. Everyone was speechless. Some were smiling and others were covering their mouths in shock.

The three forms of the Doctor that Rose had known during their lifespans moved as one to stand in a row behind the one binding himself to her and waited. Then all four Doctors closed their eyes and turned their faces to the sky. More blue boxes appeared around them and all of the remaining Doctors stepped out, walked to Rose Tyler, kissed her cheek, and moved to stand behind the other four. Those who had not known her laid their hands on the backs and shoulders of the three that had and those three placed their left hands over and between the Doctors hearts. Each Doctor behind the one marrying her bowed their heads and closed their eyes.

Jack stepped forward with a huge smile on his face ready to speak when a tower of golden mist appeared behind him and touched his shoulder. The mist took form and an ethereal beauty stood before him, on the other side of the couple a silver mist also appeared and took shape. Jack stepped back into the circle and waited.

“We are the Eternals. We bless this union and will finalize it.” Both beings spoke in unison.

“Every form of the Doctor up to this point has come to swear their hearts to you, Rose Tyler.” The golden one began. She waved her hand toward the group of men behind the Doctor and continued, “Whenever you are in need, all you need to do is think of the Doctor and one of them will appear. The ones you have yet to meet place their hands on the three who did know you during their lifespans to symbolize their trust and solidarity of the love they have felt, do feel, and always will feel for you.” She placed her hand on Rose’s hand and motioned for the other to speak.

The silver one studied the couple for a bare second and the placed his hand on the Doctors hand, entwining the tips on his fingers with the fingers of the golden one. “The three you do know place their left hands over the hearts of the form of the Doctor you are marrying. This symbolizes their promise to shield both of you from any further heartache and separation. They will call down the powers of all the Gods of the Universes if they must to keep you two safe and together. They will always be with you, in both of your minds and hearts because they are given form through your love for each other. The Eternals themselves have promised to watch over the Wolf and the Storm. You have many, many more adventures to look forward to and will save the multiverse more times than you could believe.” His voice echoed through the beach they were standing on, and the four hands began to glow with a swirl of gold and silver. The Eternals smiled gently at them and moved backwards to join the circle as well.

Jacks eyes widened as he watched this happen, then cleared his voice before speaking what he was meant to. “Doctor, it is now time for you to speak from your hearts to the one you claim as your Bond Mate.”

The Doctor gazed into Roses’ eyes and a single tear fell as he began to speak. “Our life began all those many years ago when I grabbed your hand. I have fallen in love with you over and over again. When I regenerated into this body, I was angry because I couldn’t find you. You weren’t in my mind anymore nor were you anywhere in this universe. For some reason though, we were brought back together and once again you saved my life. No one has ever measured up to you in my eyes. No one has ever or will ever claim my hearts the way you have. I will do all I can to be the man who deserves your love. I love you with every cell of my being. I am Yours, Rose.” He placed his right hand over her hearts and waited.

Jack then turned to Rose. “Rose, it is now time for you to speak from your hearts to the one you claim as your Bond Mate.”

Rose gazed at the three men behind her Doctor and met each of their eyes, letting them know that she was speaking to them just as much as she was to the man in front of her. Finally, her eyes gazed into storm blue ones and she began. “You took my hand all those years ago and I felt safe. You made me curious about who you were with that whole Now Forget Me speech. What a way to make sure I wouldn’t.” He smirked at her just as fast as the leather one behind him did.

“Then you show up again, ripped Mickey’s head off and tell me to get in this blue box that shouldn’t have been there.” At this, a mumbled Oi! Could be heard from Mickey. “You asked me if you being an alien was alright, and I replied okay. You were gorgeous, intelligent, and so very dangerous, but I found out that you needed someone to look out for you also. You were useless against my first alien invasion.” She smiled up at him with a teasing grin.

“I think that was when I started falling for you. That moment when I realized you weren’t omnipotent. We’ve both been through hell, my love, and have emerged stronger because of the scars we bear. I will always be there to save you because I know you would rather sacrifice yourself than me. I will not allow that to happen. I promised you forever when I was human. And I still promise you forever now. I will always love you, my dear Doctor.” Her right hand came up to cup his cheek as she said her last words. His covered hers and he pressed a kiss into her palm.

Gazing into each other’s eyes they both said, “You are my Bond Mate. Our hearts are bound to each other throughout our lives.” With those words, their lips found each other and kissed each other with all the love in their souls.

Their kiss was interrupted when Jack slammed a back slap on the Doctor, causing him to jump. The pretty boy was smiling so much that the Doctor was surprised his face didn’t crack in two.

“May I present the Doctor and Rose Tyler? Husband and wife, soulmates, and finally together as one!” Jack announced to their friends as a cheer went up around them. As their friends came forward to congratulate them, the Doctors began unbinding the ropes around the two. After they were finished, the first nine Doctors made a line in front of Rose, starting from One and each took her elbows in their grasp and lay their foreheads to hers. She gasped when the bond snapped into place with each one. Each one settled a chaste kiss to her lips before they walked back to their ships and one by one, disappeared into thin air. Immediately afterwards, the two Eternals left as well, bowing to the couple as they did.

“Okay, okay, okay, time for the reception Rose! Everyone back in the Tardis.” Jack announced excitedly. Turning, he pointed at the three Doctors who would be leaving in theirs and reminded them, “You three must be there as well.” All three nodded at him, knowing where to go. None of them would be missing the next part. They did have a part to play after all. Each headed to their ship, lost in their own thoughts.

“Okay, Doc, you know where to go.” Jack told him after everyone was inside. Jack had rented out a pub on Earth that his group sometimes went to when they needed to relax and it was all theirs for the evening. Looking around at everyone, Jack smiled, it was good to have so many friends around once again. Mickey and Martha were hugging Rose at the moment. Donna was waiting her turn impatiently. Gwen and Ianto were standing back, watching everyone and talking to each other about how interesting the ceremony had been. Sarah Jane had her son, Luke, and K-9 with her. The boy was looking everywhere, excited to once again be able to be in the ship, even if it had changed since the last time he’d seen it. Glancing over at the Doctor, Jack laughed to himself. This Doctor really did have issues with people being near him. He kept stepping back or to the side every time anyone came within ten feet of him.

They soon landed back in Cardiff in an alley behind the pub. The other three ships were already there with the Doctors standing outside. Jack rubbed his hands together. He was so happy that Rose had let him set everything up for her.

Leading them inside, he pulled Rose to the middle of the dance floor and told her to stand there. All four Doctors stood to the side while their guests watched, curious as to how this was going to work.

Jack took the small stage where a DJ was also set up. He whispered some instructions to the guy then turned back to them. Smiling his most charming smile, he spoke, “We all know that the first dance goes to the Bride and Groom. Tonight though, we’re doing things a little bit different. The first four dances are going to the Bride and Grooms. Each of these men have married Rose today. I’ve had each man choose a song that they felt fit them and Rose. Well, besides the silver fox over there. I have something special for them two. So we start from first to last.” He motioned to their first Doctor and he moved towards Rose with a soft smile on his face.

Her gorgeous leather Doctor stood before her with his hand stretched out to her and the beginning strains of ‘I’d Come for You’ starting. Taking his hand, Rose stepped forward to join him. They gazed into each other’s eyes as he held her close, turning her around the room.

Laying his forehead against hers, he mouthed the chorus to her as they moved together. “I will always come for you, Rose. Whenever you need me, call me. I’ll be there.” Nodding, she hid her face against his chest as their song finished. He raised her chin so she could look at him. “Kiss me goodbye, Rose Tyler.” It was a tender kiss, one with heartbreak on both sides, and both had tears in their eyes as he walked away.

Donna nudged Sarah Jane and Martha as they watched the exchange between the two. “You know, NOW I see why she fell for him. He’s just rawr.” She made a claw like motion that had the other two women nodding in agreement.

Jack sidled up to them when he heard the comment and grinned at Donna. “Yeah, imagine being in that ship with both of them fighting it. Watching them watching each other when the other wasn’t looking. So many times I had to jump ship just to get some relief.” He waggled his eyebrows at the ladies and they all cracked up.  

They then watched as the pinstriped Doctor walked to her and hugged her as he spun her around, causing her to giggle.

“I met him again while they were traveling together.” Sarah Jane told them. “He was playful but you could see the rage right beneath it. He wasn’t the same as when I traveled with him. And he seems a lot different than the one the just left.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed, “I didn’t see them during that time. Our first Doctor was darker but at the same time he was fighting to live and he was happier than when I finally caught up with that one up there once he lost Rose.”

Donna and Martha both nodded their heads slightly, not really wanting to think about how he had seemed during that time. The friends fell silent as they watched the couple on the floor.

The Doctor nodded to Jack as he took Rose in his arms and danced to the beat of ‘Far Away’ with her. Every time the words I love you came around in the song, he whispered them to her. As it ended, he hugged her close and kissed her neck. Pulling back, he smiled at her. “I should have told you so many times, Rose, but I was a coward and couldn’t. I regretted it for the rest of my time. I love you.”

“Quite right too,” she responded causing them both to laugh at each other. He placed a kiss on her forehead, hugged her once more, and turned to go the same way the last one had.

Rose turned to watched the Doctor with a tweed jacket and bowtie come forward. He seemed just as nervous as he had in her dreams and she couldn’t help but smile at him. He was simply adorable.

“This one is a bit faster than the two you just danced to but it speaks to me of our time together,” he quietly told her, taking her hand and spinning her toward him. “Bear with me, Rose Tyler, it’s been a couple lifetimes now since I last danced like this with you.” She grinned and they danced to ‘In My Dreams’. They danced like they had danced around the console many years before. Both were grinning when the song finished and he dipped her low before pulling her back to him. Then his lips brushed hers quickly. He raised his hand to stroke her cheek, his eyes happier than ever in their dreams, and turned and walked away.

Jack watched the Doctor walk out of the building as he stepped back on the small stage. He then gave a CD to the DJ and spoke to the small group of people. “When Rose met the Doctor back in 2005 he told her he was around 900 years old. This Doctor is now over 2000. The Doctor has loved Rose for over a thousand years and so I believe this song suits them for their final wedding song. Everyone feel free to join the couple on the floor.”

He motioned to the DJ who slipped the CD in and soft music started playing and Jack began to sing.

“Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave?

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

But watching you stand alone,

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.”

The Doctor and Rose were swaying slowly together while their friends danced around them. Jack sang on, his amazing voice making the song just all that more real for everyone. As the song ended, the Doctor picked Rose up around her waist, holding her tightly to him and swung her around.

“You, Rose Tyler, are mine.”

“And you, Doctor, are mine.” She brought her lips to his and his mouth opened to allow her tongue in to stroke his. Moaning, he returned the favor. She tasted so damn good and he was finally home in her arms where he had needed to be for all these years. His arms tightened more, pulling her lower half against him, hoping she would understand what he was saying. She laughed and shook her head.

“Not yet, my love.” Backing away, she turned to give Jack a hug and thank him for the song as the DJ started up a playlist of party songs.

They chatted and cut the cake. They played all the silly little games that a good group of friends would play when they got together. Toasts were made and jokes told within them that had Rose and the Doctor blushing. The Doctor was forced to dance with all of his old companions, even Mickey, and he found that it wasn’t too bad as long as he could go back to Rose every once in a while.

Rose was claimed for a dance by everyone, except for her Doctor, because he had already had four dances and everyone else claimed that to be unfair. She even danced with K-9 which funnily enough was not the strangest partner she’d ever had to dance with.

Finally, after a few hours had passed, Jack took pity on them and started pushing them out the door, assuring Rose that everyone would get home safely. They took the hint, linked their hands together and made their way back home.

 

At the doors to their home, he swept her up bridal style and carried her across the threshold, causing Rose to wrap her arms around his neck while squealing in laughter. The Tardis hummed a welcome back and kept the lighting low. They set the sequence for the vortex and as Rose was turning away from the console, she was pulled backwards against a hard body.

Lips swept from her ear down to her collar as hands started slipping buttons through clothes. She brought a hand up to hold him to her as his hands disrobed her.

“Mmm, in a hurry love?” She teased as she turned to him. His eyes were smoldering ice as his mouth took hers. Biting her lower lip, he elicited a gasp and plunged his tongue in to stroke hers. He walked her backwards down the corridor to their room as she started removing his wedding clothes, mouths never leaving the other.

She fumbled for the door handle when they got there, and they stumbled into the room. He pulled her body closer against his as he leaned back against the door.

“Thinking one of us has too many clothes on,” she murmured as her hands went to the snap of his trousers. He grinned at her and helped remove the rest of his before backing her to the bed. He followed her down as she scrambled to situate herself and sat back on his knees to take her in. Running his hands over her legs, he picked one up to place a kiss on her ankle, slowly making his way up it.

His thumb swept over her clit as he moved his hand to the other leg and repeated the process. The Doctor glanced upwards as he leaned forward to kiss her abdomen to see her reaction. Hooded eyes watched him closely as one hand ran through his hair. He heard her gasp as his lips moved lower. Her arousal was driving him wild and he needed to taste it. One finger dipped into her and he brought it up to lick her off of him. He smirked as he smelled a new wave of hormones hit her at his action.

Lowering his mouth, he tasted her. She tasted so good, unlike anything he’d ever known before. His tongue lapped at her while a finger lazily rotated at her clit. He licked up into her, needing more of her to drink. She gasped and moaned as he continued, her breath becoming shorter as she came closer to the peak.

He could tell that she was almost there, but refused to let her have it. He pulled back and grinned up at her. She growled. He placed kisses up her stomach to one breast as his fingers plucked at the other. He nipped and she moaned. He sucked and her back arched.

Rose grabbed his hair to force him up to her. She knew he would tease her until she was completely boneless but that wasn’t what she wanted at the moment.

“Doctor, you can do whatever you want later, right now I want you in me. Now.” His grin told her he would remember that as his lips latched onto hers. Their tongues dueled as he took himself in hand and slid through her folds a couple times, making sure he grazed her clit. Once he was sure she coated him, he entered her, slowly, inch by inch. She tried to push up to meet him but he held her still. He was only halfway in when he pulled back causing her to whimper. With a feral grin, he gazed into her eyes and thrust sharply, filling her quickly. Damn, she felt so good. So tight and perfect around him. He had to fight to keep his composure.

He bit at her neck, licking it, then sucking right above her pulse point. She moaned, her head falling back to give him better access. They moved together. Breathy sighs mingled with strangled moans as nails raked and teeth grazed.

“Let me in, Rose. Please baby,” he begged. “Complete our bond.”

“Yes.”

Their foreheads touched as whiskey gazed into storm tossed seas and they touched each other’s temple. Their minds merged completely as colors of blue, grey, pink, and gold mixed around the room. Rose moved her hips against him, causing the colors to swirl in the same rhythm. Grinning, she moved again and so did the colors. Glancing up at him, she found an answering grin on his lips.

“That’s interesting,” she gasped as he ground himself into her.

“That’s our auras mixing together.” His fingers gripped her hips and moved her in the rhythm they both needed. She gasped as a wave of pleasure engulfed her. She moved as he needed her to and gasps and moans were the only sounds heard in the room.

The Doctor watched her with hooded eyes, his fortune astounding him still. This woman had come back to him and wanted to stay. He couldn’t believe how much she loved him. His left hand moved to cover her heart and he whispered huskily, “I’ll love you forever. Even past the last breath of my last body.” She stilled as he spoke.

Rose repeated his actions as she said, “Forever, my Doctor, even when we are nothing but stardust.” 

The Doctors hearts sang as her nails raked down his back. Never in his lives had he felt like this. She wasn’t someone that he had to be with to fix a time loop that he barely knew. This woman was a woman he cared for, had protected, and even given up because he had thought she deserved better. She was a woman who had fought for him and refused to believe in the impossible. And gods, the union of their bodies gave him more pleasure than he thought possible. He buried his head in her neck and growled in her ear.

Smiling, she wrapped her arms and legs around him as he sped up their pace. A thousand flickering flames danced in her blood as she arched her back to bring him in deeper to assuage the burning ache inside her. She clenched her teeth, needing release, could feel it almost there.

His thumb pressed against her clit and they both flew over the cliff as their colors turned red, then purple and black before a blinding white surrounded them and they fell.

He caught himself before collapsing on her and turned them, not allowing himself to leave her body. She pillowed her head on his chest and kissed him above his hearts. His hands sifted through her hair gently while the colors in the room slowly faded and their hearts slowed. They fell into a deep sleep, safe in each other’s arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Donna is in this one, and they were able to find a way to bring back her memories without endangering her. I always loved Donna and hated how her story ended. 
> 
> The songs I had each Doctor chose have videos to them (except Elevens), and I'll put the links below. I felt that they really captured each Doctors time along with Rose. It took me a while to find the videos to each of the songs simply because most of them were not what I was looking for. 
> 
> Nine- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHdCpuJ_jHA  
> Ten- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrccS8dkz34  
> Eleven- would love an Eleven/Rose video to this song- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPFDoq9nRwA  
> Twelve- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl1mxlIt7eo


End file.
